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Intro to Tantra

This post is gonna be a two-parter. This first part is on the background and theory of what Tantra is, with the follow up post being the actual techniques used.

When it comes to Semen Retention, one of the most dangerous things you can do is entertain the idea of anything sexually stimulating. Porn, edging, hell, even looking at or thinking too much about the enticing female form is off the table for many of us, and rightfully so. It’s what led us down this path, spiraling out of control.

So why, of all things, am I about to start discussing how to masturbate and even have sex in order to supercharge our SR practice?

For one reason and one reason only – tantric methods are, by far, the most powerful way to speed up our evolution on this path. 

From the Chinese classic Secrets of the Jade Bedroom –

“Rainbow Girl: It is generally assumed that a man gains great pleasure from ejaculation. But when he learns of the Tao of Yin and Yang, he will ejaculate less and less. Will this not diminish his pleasure as well?

Pen-Tze: Not at all! After ejaculating, a man feels tired, his ears buzz, his eyes get heavy, and he longs for sleep. He is thirsty and his limbs feel weak and stiff. By ejaculating, he enjoys a brief moment of sensation but suffers long hours of weariness as a result. This is no true pleasure!

However, if a man regulates his ejaculations to an absolute minimum and retains his semen, his body will grow strong, his mind will be clear, and his vision and hearing will improve. While the man must occasionally deny himself the fleeting sensation of ejaculation, his love for his woman will greatly increase. He will feel as if he could never get enough of her. Is that not the true and lasting pleasure of sex?” 

There are Two Paths

While it’s more nuanced than this, let’s split spiritual practice, and by extension, semen retention, into two camps. That of renunciation, and that of tantra. 

The path of the renunciate is where we all begin, and where many of us may stay indefinitely. It is by no means the inferior of the two paths, and seeing as it is the basis for tantra, one might even consider it to be the superior of the two. It is powerful, effective, and most importantly, safe. It’s only downfall is it is slower.

In the path of renunciation, we give up all things sexual. We give up porn, we give up masturbation, and we sure as hell give up sex. When the goal is to retain semen, why would we be having sex? It’s almost a guaranteed spillage of precious seed. 

In the beginning, we might be extremely strict. We modify our environment to remove as much temptation as possible. We unfollow IG accounts that post photos of scantily clad women, we stop hanging out with our attractive female friends or buddies who only talk about getting laid, and we may even avoid social situations that could arouse lust within. These are temporary but necessary limitations we impose on ourselves – remember, “discipline equals freedom”.

As time progresses, and we build confidence in our practice, we may relax things a bit. We’ve gained enough mastery that hanging around attractive females is no longer a trigger. We brush off our buddies’ discussions about their weekend conquests, or attempts thereof. While we prob shouldn’t follow accounts or subreddits dedicated to naked females, we may be strong enough to follow accounts that post the occasional dimepiece. 

Then there is the path of Tantra. After a certain level of confidence has grown in our practice, and a certain amount of self-mastery, a few of us may decide to take things to the next level. 

The risk is great, but the reward is even greater.

We realize that maybe, just maybe, we can use our own desire to further our practice. Just as a smoking piece of wood quickly catches aflame as it is tossed in the fire, so too can our practice go from smouldering to ablaze through using our own desire.

The person on the tantric path learns how to masturbate in such a way to stir up his sexual energy, and then uses tantric techniques to further increase and circulate this energy. 

He learns how to look at an image of a beautiful female and use the desire it stirs within him to accomplish his real lifes work.

The most advanced amongst them even learn how to have sex in such a way as to stoke the sexual energy within, magnifying it many times over, circulating it blissfully throughout the body, all the while absorbing the Yin Jing of the females secretions or “elixers”.

The man on this path walks a dangerous tight-rope. Learning the techniques and the patience to keep his sexual excitement within 90-95% of climax, and being able to focus internally on the circulation and transmutation of this energy is no small feat, to say the least. 

Almost everyone will fail their first few times having tantric sex. With the right practice and Jing-building herbs, this is but a minor setback. 

Many will try it and, realizing its difficulty, give up the practice and return to the path of renunciation – and there ain’t a damn thing wrong with that.

Unfortunately, a few will try out this path and, after indulging and failing to retain their seed, give up the practice of semen retention all together. This is most unfortunate but is a real risk, so keep it in mind. 

However, the persistent among us, those willing to take their time, who have properly prepared, and who are willing to keep practicing… These men will see their practice, and entire life, explode into whole new dimensions of bliss and self-realization. 

Speaking on the difference between these two paths, Lama Yeshe writes,

“The behavior of someone following this path (the path of renunciation) to individual liberation is therefore characterized by extreme self-control. The practitioner posts a strict guard at the door of the senses and is extremely suspicious of whatever wants to enter…

Compared to a system like tantra, which actually uses the energy of desire, this cautious approach to the spiritual path is considered inferior… Tantra’s approach is very different. Instead of viewing pleasure and desire as something to be avoided at all costs, tantra recognizes the powerful energy aroused by our desires to be an indispensable resource for the spiritual path.Because the goal is nothing less than the realization of our highest human potential, tantra seeks to transform every experience – no matter how ‘unreligious’ it may appear – into the path of fulfillment. It is precisely because our present life is so inseparably linked with desire that we must make use of desire’s tremendous energy if we wish to transform our life into something transcendental… 

Thus the logic of tantra is really very simple: our experience of ordinary pleasure can be used as the resource for attaining the supremely pleasurable experience of totality, or enlightenment.

The function of tantra is to transform all pleasures into the transcendental experience of deep penetrative awareness. Instead of advocating separation from worldly pleasures the way many other traditions do, tantra emphasizes that it is much more effective for human beings to enjoy themselves and channel the energy of their enjoyments into a quick and powerful path to fulfillment and enlightenment.”

Powerful stuff. The thing is, you must be thoroughly established in SR and completely overhaul your worldview for this practice to bear fruit. You MUST have a solid foundation set, a regular routine that is practiced daily, and have spent some serious time working with your mind, it’s desires, urges and emotions. If you have difficulty making it a couple months without PMO, tantra is likely not for you.. Yet.

While I can’t speak for Lama Yeshe, when he calls the path of renunciation “inferior”, I take it to mean that the path of tantra is more suitable for those of us still living in the world of everyday life, surrounded by temptations and mundane pleasures. We can’t all go full monk mode and live in an ashram, monastery or hermitage, dedicating our lives to spiritual practice, nor should most of us. 

If we begin our practice of Semen Retention with renunciation, starving the constantly hungry sex drive and asserting our rightful dominance over the dominion of craving that is the libido, we set a solid foundation for when the time comes to practice tantra. 

Tantra, Dual Cultivation, and Karezza

Just as true yoga has little to do with soccer moms in pink yoga pants, true tantra actually has very little to do with sex. Or masturbation. Or anything sexual at all really. 

Tantra is all about using your natural desires as a means for spiritual evolution.

Tantra can be translated as a “weave” or “web”, and comes from the Sanskrit verbal root “tan”, meaning to expand. Tantra is therefore the practice and philosophy of expanding consciousness.

As Georg Feuerstein states, “According to esoteric explanations, tantra is that which expands jnana,which can either mean ‘knowledge’ or ‘wisdom’.”

Tantra is a means of transcending ordinary reality by diving deep into and through ordinary reality. Every experience, be it sex, listening to music, getting into an argument or eating a slice of pizza is seen as a manifestation of the divine, and thus can be used for transcendence.

While that’s all well and good, us scalawags on this sub are mostly interested in the sexual aspect of tantra. Within yogic systems of tantra, sex is used not only as means of spiritual transformation, of cultivating immense energy and bliss, but also a means of worshipping the divine feminine principle of the universe, Shakti. Shakti, the divine feminine, represents all energy in the universe – prana, Qi, kundalini, electricity, fire, ATP within the mitochondria – all of it is Shakti. By worshipping Shakti via tantric sex, you are actively worshipping the very same energy within your own body that you’ve been cultivating and sublimating this whole time.

Sex transforms from just a small, momentary explosion of pleasure followed by a limp dick and regret into a science of extended bliss and self-transcendence.

Within Qi Gong, tantric sex or “dual cultivation” is less a means of worship and more of a way to simply increase Jing and Qi, to cultivate and circulate sexual energy. Further, you didn’t have to be a spiritual practitioner to use these techniques. The common folk were well aware of them, as well as *Jing-*boosting, aphrodisiac herbs, just as a means of sexual enjoyment and boosting overall health.

These practices differ from karezza and “coitus resveratus” in the fact that they are energy-based and used as a means for spiritual evolution. Karezza is simply having normal sex and not ejaculating. There aren’t fancy breathing exercises, visualizations, mudras or bandhas, and usually there generally isn’t any non-ejaculatory orgasm, in contrast to Taoist/tantric sex, where all of these aspects usually play a role. 

Regardless, the techniques provided are useful for any type of non-ejaculatory sex, and any type of non-ejaculatory sex provides great benefit for us on the Semen Retention path.

Benefits of Tantric Sex

Whether you practice yogic tantric sex, Taoist “dual-cultivaton” style, or just plain karezza/non-ejaculatory sex, you reap massive benefits. 

Let’s start with karezza. You simply have sex, taking your time and going slow enough that you don’t orgasm. You’re focused on the act of sex itself, without the goal of orgasming. There are two main benefits to be had from this style of love making. 

First, it frees up and liberates a lot of sexual energy, which, if you know what you’re doing, you can then sublimate and circulate throughout the body-mind complex. You can do this during or after sex, or not at all, just enjoying sex for what is – physical intimacy with a special lady friend.

Second, from a Taoist perspective, the act of sex allows you to absorb the female’s “yin essence” – the hormones, peptides and other goodies found in her vaginal secretions. Of course, this implies that you are having sex without a condom, which carries its own risks and caveats, namely it must be consenual, you should both be free of STDs and hopefully the girl is on birth control, in case you slip up and bust a nut. Sperm can be found in pre-ejaculate as well, so consider yourself warned.

As Daniel Reid unpoetically states in The Tao of Health, Sex and Longevity,

“In both men and women, sexual secretions contain many pure, potent, biochemically active substances: hormones, enzymes, proteins, vitamins and other elements. When female secretions are released into the warm, moist environment of the vagina during intercouse, they come into direct contact with the sensitive, paper-thin skin of the man’s blood-engorged penis. Body heat opens wide the pores of this stretched skin, and the rhythmic rubbing of vagina and penis causes biochemically significant amounts of female ‘essence’ to be absorbed by the male.”

He continues, “For men, frequent intercourse with infrequent ejaculation is the key technique for cultivating sexual essence and energy. Furthermore, retaining semen during intercourse enables a man not only to preserve and reabsorb his own essence, it also enables him to prolong the act sufficiently for his partner to reach full orgasm, thereby releasing her most potent secretions for his benefit.”

Tantric sex and Taoist “dual cultivaton” are both essentially the same, unless you factor in the act of worshipping the divine from the tantra side of things. You receive the same benefits as karezza, but tantric and Taoist sex is, in itself, a type of energy work and meditation. You actively sublimate and circulate the sexual energy that is created during the act of lovemaking, both during and after the act. This leads to states of extreme bliss, as well as the possibility of altered states of consciousness, although these things don’t have to be a goal and are not guaranteed.

If you’re a skilled practitioner, you’re also able to cultivate bliss in such a way that you have multiple, full-body orgasms, without spilling your seed! Believe me when I say that this takes a lot of practice and, most difficult of all, finding a partner that’s willing to help you learn how to do this.

Taoists also speak of “solo cultivation”, which, as the name implies, is using masturbation in such a way as to cultivate and circulate sexual energy on your own. While it is less effective than dual cultivation, solo cultivation is a useful practice to not only learn to get the hang of the internal energy work that you use during tantric sex, but also to get the body used to getting close to orgasm before stopping and cooling off. It is essentially “tantric edging”.

I highly suggest that you have a solid 60-90 days of retention under your belt before you begin flirting with the idea of solo or dual cultivation. It’s also highly recommended that you are proficient in the sublimation techniques I’ve given in posts 2, 3, and 7, and that you become proficient in the techniques in Part 2 of this series on Tantra before you start messing around with edging or tantric sex.

May I also gently remind you horndogs that this is not a green light to go back to your sleazy ways of watching porn and scrolling through NSFW subs all day, every day. That will still fuck your brain up and drain you of tons of energy and dopamine, even if you’re doing “solo cultivation” practices. You still need to be “guarding the sense doors” the majority of the time.

To give you an idea of the power of these practices, after a few weeks/months of practice, you should be able to have sex or receive a blow job and make the conscious decision of whether you would like to orgasm or not. Having sex without orgasm always leaves me feeling invigorated and empowered, and I’m always ready for more, as compared to sex with release, which leaves me feeling drained and sleepy, with a few days of a “sex hangover” – basically just feeling lazy and less motivated. 

“The art of the bedroom consists of suppressing emissions, absorbing the woman’s fluids, and making semen return to strengthen the brain, thereby attaining longevity.” – Pien Chang’s Dynastic History of the Later Han

Mindset

Before you begin attempting tantric sex or even “solo cultivation”, you need to change your view of the world within and around you.

Remember, tantra is a way of viewing every experience as a play of the divine – everything becomes holy, no matter how mundane or profane. Those with a spiritual or religious bend can fit this way of thinking into their given paradigms. For those of us who are atheist or agnostic, simply view everything in terms of a purely energetic standpoint.

Everything you see around you, the world of physical matter, is just condensed energy. Nothing is “good” or “bad”, everything is just energy moving about in different forms, and thus everything can be used for self-transcendence, if viewed properly.

The spiritual aspirant views the world as a training ground, where he uses everyday experiences as a means to purify the mind and emotions. The semen retention practitioner should view sex and non-ejaculatory masturbation as a training ground for increasing and sublimating sexual energy.

See a beautiful lady walking towards you? Feel that sexual energy rise up, embrace it, and view it not as lust but rather as a powerful means for bliss and self-transformation.

Feeling horny? Good, the drive to be a man and create new life is still strong within you, the flame has not been extinguished. Reframe it as not just a means to fuck a girl, but a means to make love to existence itself and birth a whole new you. 

Realize that your attraction to a beautiful lady is really your male energy craving union with female energy – and she experiences the same in reverse. Yang craves Yin, and vice versa.

Read Reddit user u/redjohnagain’s The Earth is a Woman (Part 1).

If you’re having sex with a gal, don’t view her as just a soft and warm thing to come inside of. Her body is a temple, and you should worship it, not just with your cock but with your mind, using her body, energy and soul to help you create untold levels of bliss within. And fellas, don’t forget – you should be aiming to please her as well you scoundrel, don’t be so self-involved that you forget she wants to feel good too. 

And while we should never put women on a pedestal, we should always feel grateful for a chance to merge with that divine feminine energy we crave so much.

And in fact, any desire you feel for anything, and any experience you have, can be transformed for spiritual means. I’ll leave that to you to study as it goes beyond the scope of Semen Retention.

“Like the sun, which dries up everything, or like fire, which consumes everything, so the yogin enjoys everything but is not stained by sin.” Kula-Arnava-Tantra, 9.76

“One should cultivate desire by means of desire. One should cast desire into desire. Desiring by means of desire, abiding in desire, one should stir the world.” – Vamaka-Ishvara-Tantra, 4.46

“For a man to nurture his male powers, he must nourish his Yang essence by absorbing Yin essence. When men and women indulge freely in sex, exchanging their bodily fluids and breathing each other’s breath, it is like fire and water meeting in such perfect proportions that neither one defeats the other. Man and woman should ebb and flow in intercourse like the waves and currents of the sea, first one way, then another, but always in harmony with the Great Tide. In this manner, they may continue all night long, constantly nourishing and preserving their precious vital essence, curing all ailments, and promoting long life. Without this basic harmony of Yin and Yang, neither medicines refined from the five minerals, nor the most potent aphrodisiacs, will be of any use. If the vital essences are dried up due to excessive emission or complete neglect, they can never be revived.” Su-Nu Ching

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Part 4 – This is Your Brain on Semen Retention

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

For all you SR homies that aren’t as much into the esoteric and more into the down-to-earth, this post is for you.

Motivation

Think back to Post 1. I argued that retaining is a just a means to an end, that end being enhancing a type of energy called Jing. Jing is our vitality, which can be physically described as the sum total of our hormones, neurotransmitters, immune system and DNA integrity.

An interesting thing happens to a man during orgasm. Prolactin explodes onto the scene, and dopamine plummets.

Dopamine is that feel-good, tons of confidence, get shit done neurotransmitter. It’s key to confidence and motivation. We want dopamine, and we want it in abundance.

Prolactin is a necessary hormone even for men, just like estrogen is.. But it’s also the hormone responsible for breast growth and lactation in women. As guys, we want the bare minimum of prolactin floating around.

That sudden depletion of dopamine and surge in prolactin is why guys feel like they “lose their power” after “relapsing”. It’s a sudden diminishing of Jing.

Now the good news is, if you retain for 6 months and then have sex, you don’t go all the way back to square one. It sets you back, but not all the way to the beginning. Even better news, certain techniques can be used as “harm reduction” to prevent the loss of Jing and to quickly replenish it if this does happen. That is beyond the scope of this post, but I’ll get into this as we go deeper down the rabbit hole.

Back to hormones and neurotransmitters –

Low dopamine levels are associated with depression, low energy, lack of ambition, social anxiety, among others (Dailly et al., 2004).

Why does dopamine drop? Well, to make sure we attend to other aspects of our life, our brains come hardwired with a neurochemical mechanism of satiety. Prolactin, another hormone, surges right after orgasm, and is considered a reliable marker of such (Kruger et al., 2003). Prolactin works as a dopamine inhibitor, curtailing our sex drives once we consummate orgasm and providing us with feelings of satiation and sexual gratification. So the happy feelings impulsed by orgasm are carried along by prolactin. These secretions are relatively long-lasting after orgasm (Kruger et al., 2012).

Now prolactin doesn’t just curtail our sex drives, it curtails our drive in general. And studies have shown this dip in dopamine takes about two weeks to recover. That’s a looooong time to have reduced drive, energy and confidence..

When we practice semen retention, we’re trying to “stay hungry” and accomplish goals, but prolactin is a “neruochemical mechanism of satiety”. No bueno.Sweet, Sweet Dopamine

The problem is, jacking off and prolactin isn’t the only thing fucking with our dopamine system. Remember, high dopamine = lots of motivation, drive, desire, and confidence. This is why people love drugs like Adderall and cocaine, and why, if they have nothing better to focus on, they clean the shit out of their apartments. They’re on a dopamine high and gotta do something, anything.

But we live in a world that is beyond oversaturated with things that stimulate dopamine release. They’re massive time-wasters, and they fuck up our dopaminergic systems.

They hack into our brain’s reward system and prevents us actually getting things done.

Neurochemistry 101

I’ll keep this short guys. In the brain you have these chemical messengers called neurotransmitters. They fit into receptors, much like a lock and key. It’s important to remember that the brain and body are always trying to maintain homeostasis.

If the brain detects too much of a certain neurotransmitter, it reacts to maintain this homeostasis. If there is too much dopamine in certain parts of the brain, the brain first ceases to release more dopamine. If that doesn’t fix it, it de-sensitizes dopamine receptors. If that still doesn’t fix it, it starts removing dopamine receptors completely!

This is how addiction comes about. Look at the image below – see how amphetamine looks almost identical to dopamine? It fits right into that receptor, and over time your body down-regulatesdopamine receptors, meaning you need more and more of the drug to get high, and feel worse and worse when you don’t have it.

This is how porn in particular, and modern society in general, have been able to ensnare us in their clutches – they make our brain less and less sensitive to its own neurotransmitters. You need more and more stimulus (more exciting video games, kinkier and kinkier porn) to get the same dopamine release, and things that you once found interesting (books, sports, conversations with friends, whatever), are no longer stimulating enough.

  • Food is literally engineered by scientists to hack into our reward system. Why eat anything healthy and nutritious when there are Cheetos in the cupboard and Mountain Dew in the fridge? Why eat a nice, big salmon salad when I can just pop in a pizza that floods my brain with dopamine and endorphins and leaves me comatose on the couch afterwards?
  • Social media, with its fast pace, endless novelty in the never-ending scrolling, and system of intermittent reinforcement is addictive as hell. Why go through the work of actually hanging out with friends and family? God, you gotta sit there, actually listen to what they say, and then formulate a response? Not enough dopamine for me, I’d rather do the scroll of death or post a photo and revel in the brief, short squirts of dopamine I get with each like.
  • TV shows, immersive video/PC games, constant music playing.. Again, engineered to be addictive and hack into our reward system. Who has the time to learn actual skill sets? To learn how to play a musical instrument? To read a book? How many more pages do I gotta read till I get some damn dopamine?
  • And of course, our personal favorite.. We can have “virtual sex” at any time with an ever increasing variety of women with bodies that are just rarely found in real life. Why go out and try to meet actual women (and face possible “rejection”), when we can stay at home and get off to our weirdest, kinkiest desires? You know how long it’s gonna take to get my hit of dopamine by actually trying to learn to talk to girls?

I could go on and on here, but the point is that we’re constantly bombarded by things that trap us in this negative hedonic feedback loop. How are you going to accomplish anything when you can’t make it past your fuckin’ cell phone?

Now here’s a caveat – the less you partake in dopamine-depleting acts, the more dopamine your brain has for daily life, and the less you’ll crave these time wasters. This is why after a certain amount of time, you longer no miss porn. It doesn’t even sound appealing.

As time goes on, and your receptors become re-sensitized, they become that much more sensitive to dopamine. Things that are “less exciting”, but probably more beneficial, become more enjoyable. That’s a big win. That said, addictive behavior becomes that much more pleasurable. So you gotta be careful, because it could quickly spiral way out of control.

Our goal then is to re-sensitize our brains to our own natural production of dopamine, and use to it ravage our women and crush our enemies. I mean, uh, to accomplish goals and shit.

The True Meaning of Brahmacharya

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” – Blaise Pascal

I would argue that preserving dopamine is as important as preserving semen. Really.

Semen retention is the doorway to realizing this. Semen retention is step one.

People think Brahmacharya is just celibacy. The word literally means “to live in higher awareness”. What does this mean in relation to semen retention? Yes, retain. But you must also not squander your dopamine, just like you wouldn’t squander your seed.

You are in the market, but not to buy anything.

This is a very important concept, and is the true meaning of Brahmacharya. It means you are immune to the seductions of the world, and those seductions come in the form of enslavement to dopamine.

You have controlled your lust for sensual pleasure, sensual pleasure meaning pleasure derived from any of the senses! One who has command over his mind and its lust for constant stimulation – that is a true Brahmachari.

It goes far beyond celibacy.

If you can’t get through a few pages of a book without going crazy with the itch for dopamine, you need to work on this.

If you can’t go even 20 minutes, never mind an hour, without checking your phone, your Snapchat, your texts.. You need a lot of work here.

Can’t go a couple days without gaming? Need to work on this.

If you can’t eat a home cooked meal without enjoying the flavor, and coming away satisfied, you need to work on this.

Perhaps most terrifying of all.. can you just sit and be still with your thoughts for five minutes? Ten? No phone, just you and yourself? Go to the local park, leave your phone at home, and just watch the world go by for 15 minutes. It will be torturous. Now ask yourself why the hell simply being is such a painful thing? I dare you to try out a float tank some time.

Addicted to Comfort

We’re addicted to the good feelings dopamine provides us, but we’re also addicted to our modern comforts. We’re weak, weak little babies, and the slightest discomfort makes us cry for mommy.

This is where Stoicism and guys like David Goggins and Jocko Willink come in. According to Stoic philosophy, “the path to eudaimonia (happiness, or blessedness) is found in accepting the moment as it presents itself, by not allowing oneself to be controlled by the desire for pleasure or fear of pain, by using one’s mind to understand the world”. Stoicism doesn’t mean running from pleasure, but it does mean not mindlessly chasing it or shirking from a little discomfort.

Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of laziness, fear and discomfort, and it would do you well to remember this. Conquer those three, and you’ve conquered yourself.

If y’all aren’t familiar with David Goggins yet.. Y’all are missing out. The guy went from a self-proclaimed pussy to probably the toughest guy out there, being the only member of the U.S. Armed Forces to complete SEAL training (including two Hell Weeks), the U.S. Army Ranger School (where he graduated as Enlisted Honor Man) and Air Force Tactical Air Controller training. Then he went on to break a fuckton of records, including the Guinness World Record for pull-ups, completing 4,030 in 17 hours.

Peep the dude’s athletic accomplishments here.

Funny thing is, he started off as a self-proclaimed pussy, clocking in at 300 lbs.

Regaining dopaminergic tone only takes you so far – you’ll only be motivated to do things in order to get that dopamine hit, and that’s powerful, that gets the ball rolling, but it only takes you halfway. You gotta push past discomfort to be truly outstanding, or to be “Uncommon amongst uncommon men“, as Goggins put it. Motivation is what gets you started – discipline is what keeps you going.

Figure out ways to practice and embrace discomfort, and, key to this practice, reframe it as something positive. You gotta heat iron to 2750 degrees and then beat the living shit out of it forge a sword, so use the heat of discomfort to make the mind malleable and then beat the shit out of it with difficult endeavors to forge a mind that isn’t weak, that doesn’t constantly chase after the tiniest empty pleasures and mortal comforts.

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” – Marcus Aurelius

“Don’t expect to be motivated every day to get out there and make things happen. You won’t be. Don’t count on motivation. Count on discipline.. Discipline equals Freedom” – Jocko Willink

“I had to build this callused mind, and I built it through suffering… I wanted to be a man who detested mediocrity.. This motherfucker is gonna keep coming after whatever the fuck is in front of him.” David Goggins on JRE #1080

Tapas – Toughness Training

Each time you say no to a useless urge that pops into your head, you level up. You build up personal power. It’s that simple. Any time you practice something that is good for you, but that is difficult and that you don’t want to do, boom, you level up again. This is callusing the mind. Do this enough times, and one day a Warrior is born.

In yoga there is a concept known as Tapas, or spiritual austerity. Just as heating ice turns it into water, and heating water turns it into vapor, Tapas is the inner heat that sublimates the energy we conserve by retaining into pure, fiery drive. The word tapas literally means “to burn”.

Any time you say no to an urge, or welcome and embrace discomfort in search of growth, you level up. It’s that simple. That is what tapas is all about.

Stop chasing empty stimulation.

Embrace discomfort.

Practices

So what is one to do?

  1. Cut out empty, short-lived dopamine highs.
  2. Train your brain to have to work for its dopamine hits.
  3. Practice beneficial discomfort and adversity.

Dopamine “Fasting”

Set a time limit on your phone for your biggest time wasting apps. You have to use some discretion here. I first had mine set for 15 minutes, and I’d only allow scrolling for 15 minutes in the morning, and 15 in the evening, and that was for Instagram, Facebook and Reddit combined. Nowadays I just pop on each app in the morning to check notifications, then log off. I also don’t allow notifications from any apps except for Reddit, and that’s only so I can keep up with you fellas. That way I’m not constantly getting updates on my phone, draining my precious attention and dopamine. Check out the app Forest.

Cut out junk food and eat as much home-prepped, whole foods as possible. A lot of people only find snacks, fast food and restaurant food palatable. Their tastebuds have desensitized and they basically get no dopamine released from actual food. Time to change that.

Practice intermittent fasting – You gotta break the chains to food in general! I have a 8:16 feeding window – all my calories are consumed within 8 hours. This means I don’t eat until 10 am, and wrap up eating at 6 pm. Considering I’m asleep most of the fasting time, this is simple. Tons of other benefits, look it up.

Try occasional 24 hour fasts – Once you’re comfortable with IF, try out the occasional 24 hour fast. Eat a big breakfast, and then a big lunch. Stuff your face up until noon, and then no calories until noon the following day. Your first couple times you can drink some bone broth if you’re really hurting.

Fast for everything else – I highly suggest social media / gaming / Netflix fasts. Do one whole day with no screen time whatsoever. Then do a week. Every year take a whole month off. I can feel y’all cringing – if it makes you cringe thinking about it, then you know you need it. Do the same thing with whatever other addictions you have. You will be amazed at all the stuff you can accomplish when you cut back on social media, gaming and other time-wasters.

Start reducing consumption of booze, nicotine, caffeine, and other drugs. Again, this just floods your brain with dopamine. You’re burning through your Jing each time you drink booze, smoke a cig, pop an Adderall or drink a Redbull. You don’t have to quit, but reduce consumption of these things in general. Keep track and just slowly reduce.

Use nicotine/caffeine/booze for a purpose. Tie your addictions up to useful actions. I’ve whittled my caffeine use down to only before a workout or when writing. It’s become a tool, instead of an addiction. Smoke cigarettes? Start changing your habits so that you mostly smoke while you’re accomplishing some goal, or only as a reward. Love craft beer like me? You gotta earn that shit, son.

Practice “sitting still, doing nothing” – This is one of the ways Taoists refer to meditation. I’m a big fan of meditation, but even most forms of meditation involve doing something, focusing on something, visualizing, etc. Sitting still, doing nothing, and just being should be your litmus test for how well you’re beginning to progress on the dopamine recovery path – if you can just sit and be comfortable for 10 or 15 minutes, you’re well on your way.

Earn Your Dopamine

In Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Total Recall – My Unbelievably True Life Story, he spoke about how as a child in Austria, his father used to make him do pushups each time he entered the kitchen, earning his meals. This always stuck with me.

A lot of people think that as guys, we have to earn our keep. This needs reframing.

As guys, we GET to earn our keep, and how glorious it is.

Set goals each day – start with 3, make ’em small, and stick the fuck to ’em. You want to achieve that “Winners Effect“, where success begets more success. We want to rewire our brain to meet challenges head on, to live off the highs of accomplishments, not mashing buttons while staring at a screen, endless scrolling of social media black holes, or beating our meat.

Put a price on things – 15 pushups each time you open the fridge. 20 air squats any time you leave the house. 20 burpees before any screen time that isn’t productive.

Easy Peasy or Worst First? A matter of personal preference here – some like accomplishing their biggest/least fun goal first and getting it out of the way. Other’s prefer to ride the high of smaller accomplishments and let that lead into bigger daily goals. Find which one works best for you.

Leverage your addictions – Set it up so that you can only take part in your biggest time wasters afteryou accomplish one of your goals for that day. That said, don’t accomplish one goal and spend the rest of the day lounging on Netflix.

Practice Adversity

Start waking up earlier – “The test is not a complex one: when the alarm goes off, do you get up out of bed, or do you lie there in comfort and fall back to sleep? If you have the discipline to get out of bed, you win—you pass the test. If you are mentally weak for that moment and you let that weakness keep you in bed, you fail. Though it seems small, that weakness translates to more significant decisions. But if you exercise discipline, that too translates to more substantial elements of your life.” – Jocko Willink

Cold showers – Lots of you guys are already doing this, and it has tons of benefits beyond toughness training. Cold exposure increases norepinephrine 200-300%, meaning an instant energy and motivation boost. It’s even been studied for its effects on depression. Start hot and end cold, do contrast showers, cold the whole time, or ice bath style.. However you wanna slice it, this is a great way to get used to being uncomfortable.

Exercise – if you already do it, great. You lift but hate running? Start running. You run only? Start lifting. Don’t exercise at all? Get the fuck on it.

Meditate – If you don’t meditate.. I just don’t have words. Your mind is the medium through which you interact with the world, and therefore shapes your entire existence. The mind is how you

  1. Perceive the environment around you
  2. Perceive your internal environment (emotions)
  3. Get shit done

Meditation is the science of mastering your mind. If you’ve mastered your mind completely, you can get whatever you want done whenever you want it done, and will feel good doing it. There are a million ways to practice meditation. Find one you like and do it every single damn day. Period.

Embrace the Suck – doesn’t matter what that suck is. Hate your math class? Nut up and just do your homework. Hate running? Time to start. When you start to get the feeling of straight UGH just thinking about it, recognize that as positive thing. That becomes the trigger for success! Befriend that feeling. Just remember, it will help you build that “calloused mind”, and you’ll get some dopamine upon completion, which is exactly what we want.

Feel the fear and do it anyway – This one might not be applicable for every single day, but if something scares you, that’s your cue to go ahead and do it. Don’t think, just act. Reframe it as excitement – in fact, fear and excitement are nearly identical internal states. We don’t run from discomfort, we welcome it. We don’t run from fear, we meet it head on.

In a nutshell, force yourself to do something you don’t enjoy doing, but that is beneficial. And when your mind tells you to quit, keep going until you reach your predetermined goal.

Recommended Reading ~

The Oatmeal – 5 Stages of Caffeine Intake

The Oatmeal – The Terrible and Wonderful Reason I Run Long Distances – comic but very relevant

The Winner Effect – how winning begets more winning

Discipline Equals Freedom – Jocko Willink

Can’t Hurt Me – David Goggins

Total Recall : My Unbelievably True Life Story

Recommended Viewing / Listening

Bill Hicks – It’s Just a Ride – not relevant to this topic, but one of my favorite clips and relevant to life in general

Goggins on JRE #1080

Jocko Willink on JRE

How to be Comfortable Being Uncomfortable – 43 Weird and Wonderful Ways to Build a Strong, Resilient Mind

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Part 3 – Strengthening Your Aura and Personal Magnetism

Part 1

Part 2

Another long post, fellas. Grab your favorite drink and settle in…

One of our favorite things about SR is suddenly we start to have a magnetic effect on those around us. It starts off as a subtle thing, but like with all things SR, it grows and grows. Like many of the best things in life, if you told the average bloke about it, they’d blow you off. But after retaining for a while, they too would realize that it’s not fantasy, it’s real.

I’m talking about that seemingly unexplainable magnetic aura we develop as we continue to build up our personal power. Girls pick right up on this, and it’s why all of a sudden you’re getting looks daily on the street, and why girls you’ve known for years suddenly make a lot more eye contact than they used to. Men pick up on this as well, though in quite a different way, and animals and especially kids are sensitive to your magnetic aura.

So why the hell would not jacking off cause this big shift in our aura? Pheromones might be playing a role, as they are present in semen. No doubt your body language plays a big role as well, considering the correlation between higher T levels/lower cortisol levels and body language. And I’m sure your palms losing all that hair makes a huuuuge difference.

r/Semenretention - Part 3 - Strengthening Your Aura and Personal Magnetism

But the real answer is that you’ve dramatically increased the actual energetic field around your body.

Ojas and the Pranamaya Kosha

Ok, so we know that by retaining semen, we conserve and build up our Jing/Ojas. Jing/Ojas is kind of like the fuel for Qi/Prana, our bioelectric energy. Simply by conserving, we build up Ojas which transforms into Prana.

The term Pranamaya kosha is the name ancient yogis gave this field of energy within and around them. So when we retain semen, that energy field grows larger and stronger, simply by the virtue that Jing transforms into Qi, or Ojas into Prana. But there are many, many ways to increase the strength and size of this field.

The Heart’s (Holographic?) Electromagnetic Field

According to the HeartMath Institute,

“The heart’s electrical field is about 60 times greater in amplitude than the electrical activity generated by the brain. This field, measured in the form of an electrocardiogram (ECG), can be detected anywhere on the surface of the body. Furthermore, the magnetic field produced by the heart is more than 100 times greater in strength than the field generated by the brain and can be detected up to 3 feet away from the body, in all directions”.

r/Semenretention - Part 3 - Strengthening Your Aura and Personal Magnetism

According to Joseph Chilton Pearce in The Biology of Transcendence, about 80% of the brain’s mass is made up of glial cells, which acts like glue for our neurons, and these glial cells are electromagnetically sensitive. He explains that in the heart’s electromagnetic field, our glial cells pick up on information encoded in that field, and thus the energy our heart radiates affects our brain cells and our perception of the world around us.

“This torus function is apparently holographic, meaning that any point within the torus contains the information of the whole field. That is, at any location within the heart’s field, no matter how infinitesimal, all the frequencies of the heart’s spectrum are present.”

This 2019 study confirms that glial cells are affected by EMFs, concluding, “Elucidating the exact mechanisms of EMF actions upon microglia and astrocytes, and its role in neuro-restoration, could be a key step in further research of the therapeutic potential of EMFs in various neurological disorders.”

That’s all well and dandy, but who cares if my brain’s glial cells are picking up on my own heart-based electromagnetic field? Keep reading my friend.

Heart Rate Variability

Our heart rate variability (HRV) is the term given to the fact that our heart beat changes ever so slightly from moment to moment. This is a good thing – it means our heart is healthy and adapting to the level of stress we’re experiencing each and every time it beats. However, if you’re absolutely stressed out, sick, or unhealthy, you will have a lower HRV as the heart just pumps extremely steadily, almost like a metronome.

Think of it this way – when you first start out on a ten mile run, you’re feeling good, spry, light on your feet. Your brain and feet are quick to adjust to any changes in the terrain in front of you. By mile 9, however, low on energy and filled with stress hormones, you’re just mechanically slugging along, each foot-stroke identical to the last, just barely pushing yourself forward.

Same thing with the heart. If you’re healthy and in good spirits, your heart adapts to each minute change in your body’s environment. If you’re sick or overly stressed however, your heart just makes sure it keeps a steady pace.

Our HRV in any given moment affects the “feel” or “tone” of our electromagnetic field. But so do emotions.

The HeartMath Institute once again –

We have found there is a direct relationship between the heart-rhythm patterns and the spectral information encoded in the frequency spectra of the magnetic field radiated by the heart. Thus, information about a person’s emotional state is encoded in the heart’s magnetic field and is communicated throughout the body and into the external environment.

Most people tend to think of communication solely in terms of overt signals expressed through facial movements, voice qualities, gestures and body movements. However, evidence now supports the perspective that a subtle yet influential electromagnetic or “energetic” communication system operates just below our conscious level of awareness. The following section will discuss data that suggests this energetic system contributes to the “magnetic” attractions or repulsions that occur between individuals.

What I would like to posit is that other people’s electromagnetically sensitive glial cells can pick up on both the STRENGTH and the HEALTH of our own energy fields. A higher HRV correlates to a “healthier” pranic field. Further, our emotions likely affect resonance (positive emotions) or dissonance (negative emotions) of this field. This is why we seem to “radiate energy”, “glow”, and have magnetic auras.

Increasing the Strength and Health of our Magnetic Aura

Now the body is extremely interesting in that it has two large pumps and multiple “positive” and “negative” energy centers/channels within it.

Our heart is obviously one of the pumps. We can’t increase its strength/output much, but we canincrease the coherence of its EMF by improving our HRV. The second pump within the body is manytimes greater in size than the heart – our diaphragm. Take a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. You might think you used your lungs in order to do this.. But the lungs have no muscle tissue! You were using your diaphragm.

By making sure we take deep, controlled breaths (pranayama), we are able to effectively pump and circulate energy through our electromagnetic field. Yoga postures have the same effect as well – not only do the movements and postures massage endocrine glands and enhance Jing/Ojas, but they clear the energetic channels (nadis) through which the prana flows. The exercises of Qi Gong do the exact same thing.

Yoga, by which I mean the postures, breathing exercises, and meditation, is probably the most effective way to reduce stress and improve HRV! Through yoga and Qi Gong, we can dramatically increase the size, strength, and health of our “auras”.

A 2016 review of 59 studies on yoga concluded –

The ability of yoga to influence autonomic function has been the subject of numerous studies that suggest that yoga practices reduce autonomic arousal and assist with a wide range of stress-related disorders…  Yoga practices, including meditation, relaxation, yoga postures, breathing, and integrated practices, appear to improve autonomic regulation and enhance vagal dominance as reflected by HRV measures

If some of you don’t like yoga, Qi Gong, breathing exercises and meditation, that’s totally fine. You can just practice SR and still reap some of these benefits. Keep stress low, eat clean foods and get plenty of sleep.

If you want to dramatically enhance your aura, keep reading.

Strengthening The Aura

Improving Auric Shine

This can be in tons of ways. Basically, just be healthy and reduce stress levels. Eat clean, nutritious foods, get good sleep, exercise, get sunlight and practice PMA, that positive mental attitude. Most of y’all are already doing this.

If you really wanna increase your personal magnetism, start getting regular with the routine I gave you back in post two. It’s super easy and takes no time at all.

I’ve been into yoga and meditation for a long time now, ten years to be exact. But I haven’t been a daily practitioner for those ten years, and in fact, while I’ve kept up a very healthy lifestyle, the last few years I’ve barely done it all. Shameful, I know.

4 months ago, however, I started making sure to do it regularly. Here are the results on my HRV –

r/Semenretention - Part 3 - Strengthening Your Aura and Personal Magnetism

That’s huge!

So keep up the asanas, and feel free to add more if you like.

Positive, Negative and Neutral Nadis

There are 3 main nadis, or energy channels through which prana flows through (and a 4th one that we will be harnessing later specifically for sublimation purposes). Those three main nadis are sushumna, ida and pingala.

r/Semenretention - Part 3 - Strengthening Your Aura and Personal Magnetism

Going into detail of each nadi is enough information to write a book about, so for now I will just say that ida is negatively charged, pingala positively charged, and sushumna is neutral. Ida is sometimes referred to as the chandra, meaning moon, and pingala as surya nadi, the sun channel.

Breathing through the left nostril moves prana through ida, breathing through the right moves prana through pingala. Now, Sushumna is generally closed off in most people. One of the goals in yoga, and specifically in nadi shodhana and spinal breathing pranayamas, is to clear out and awaken this nadi. In fact, if you want sublimation of sexual energy to be most effective, this nadi is key – this is how the sexual energy flows upward.

Positively and Negatively Charged Energy Centers

Within the yogic map of the energy body there are both channels and energy centers. These centers are referred to as chakras, and the 7 main ones are shown in the photo above. Each correlate to certain powers and faculties of mind, psychological concepts, endocrine glands, etc.

Right now we are only interested in two – Mooladhara and Ajna chakras. Mooladhara is often thought of as the chakra at the base of the spine, but it is in fact in the perineum, and is the seat of ida, pingalaand sushumna nadis. Ajna chakra is at the top of the spinal cord and is the last chakra that ida and pingala pierce, before flowing out of the nostrils. Sushumna goes beyond Ajna to the chakra at the crown of the head.

As you can probably guess by now, sublimation is all about moving the sexual energy from the lower chakras up to the higher chakras! More energy to the solar plexus chakra and you increase your personal power. Sublimate to the heart chakra and you have increased capacity for love, compassion, goodwill and you generally feel amazing. More energy to the throat chakra, you become gifted in speech. To Ajna, the third eye, you become an intellectual dynamo, mental faculties are increased 100-fold, and you may even begin to have many Jungian synchronicities and borderline psychic events occuring. If you gentlemen are interested in how to do this, it can be a topic of a later post.

You guys ever seen one of those flashlights that you have to shake in order to make it work? Inside the handle is a tube of magnetic coil and a big magnet that moves back and forth when you shake it, creating electricity. This is the same thing that happens at the pranic level when we practice alternate nostril breathing and spinal breathing, and this generates more and more energy for our aura. We move prana between negatively and positively charged chakras and nadis.

With alternate nostril breathing, we breath in first through the negative channel, and then out of the positively charged channel. Then in through positive, out through negative.

With the spinal breathing practice, we inhale energy from Mooladhara chakra up to Ajna, connecting the two oppositely charged poles. We increase the wattage of our pranic field.

Practices – Bhastrika, Nadi Shodhana, Spinal Breathing, Ujjayi, Kegels, and Metta meditation

Keep the same simple asana routine as explained in post 2. Then move on to the breathing exercises and meditation. Remember, empty stomach for these things.

Bhastrika – This word translates to “bellows”, and as such is also called the bellows breath. It’s essentially controlled hyperventilation. Just as a bellows fans the flames of a fire, bhastrika pranayamafans your pranic field. It’s classified as an energizing pranayama, so this is a great one to practice any time you need to clear the mental cobwebs.

This pranayama is working to quickly increase the strength, size and shine of your pranic field, of your aura.

It’s incredibly simple as well. Sit down in any comfortable position that keeps the spine straight. Inhale and exhale quickly and somewhat forcefully thirty times, using the belly, not the chest, to breathe in and out. At the end of thirty breaths, exhale completely, squeezing all the air out of the lungs, and then inhale slowly and evenly to about 85% capacity, and hold for 5-10 seconds. This is one round. Complete 1-3 rounds before moving on to the other pranayamas and meditation.

For nadi shodhana, the alternate nostril breathing, start increasing the amount of time on the exhale. The goal is to have the exhale be twice as long as the inhale. So if you inhale through the left for a count of 4, you’d exhale through the right for a count of 8, and reverse the process.

Don’t rush or force anything – we don’t force anything at all with these practices. If 4:6 is comfortable, stick with that and aim for 4:7 in a couple weeks, and then 4:8 in a few more weeks. You might be doing 3:6, or even 5:10. Doesn’t matter the length of time, just practice the ratios and keep increasing when possible.

For spinal breathing, we’re going to add a new technique called ujjayi pranayama. Ujjayi means “to be victorious”. It’s one of the most powerful pranayamas within yoga, but also one of the easiest. You simply contract the glottis within the throat, making a very faint, almost snoring sound. It may also sound somewhat like the ocean.

So for each inhale and exhale, contract the glottis, and move your awareness up and down that thin thread within your spine.

This contraction acts creates a pranic suction, helping to transmit that sexual energy you’ve been building up towards the brain. This is the magnet moving back in forth in the flashlight handle! It also has a ton of benefits of its own, not related to sublimation.

Don’t be fooled by how simple this practice is. Many of the higher sublimation techniques are absolutely dependent upon it, so it would be wise to practice spinal breathing with ujjayi every day. And remember, if you try the higher techniques without mastering the lower ones, that sexual energy won’t be able to make it up to the brain.

Kegels – start practicing these. If you don’t know what they are, google it. It helps retain that sexual energy, sublimates it upwards, is a crucial practice if you ever want to learn tantric sex, and is used in the more advanced sublimation techniques. These can be done at literally any time.

Magnetizing the Aura

Everything up until this point has been about cleansing and strengthening your bioelectrical field. But what about making it truly magnetic?

Well, this goes back to the Taoist idea of the Three Treasures – Jing, Qi and Shen. In Ayurveda, Ojas, Prana and Tejas. Increasing the size and strength of our Aura, that falls under the domain of Qi/Prana. And doing this alone does create some magnetism, there is no doubt whatsoever about it. But to make it truly magnetic, you want to increase your Shen/Tejas. This goes far beyond the scope of this post, but I’ll leave you with a real powerful technique to get you started.

Metta meditation

Some of you may have heard of this meditation. It’s also called loving-kindness meditation. It’s just sending good vibes to people, including yourself, but it has powerful repercussions.

Have you ever met someone and just gotten bad vibes from them? And I don’t mean some creepy dude on the street or at a party. I’ve met more than a handful of people who I just didn’t like, even though they were usually attractive, smart, funny, and other people seemed drawn to them. Later we all found out they were actually terrible people.

My take is that they were naturally charismatic and had a strong pranic field, abundant Jing and Qi. But because they didn’t have good intentions, a small percentage of people sensitive enough were able to pick up on this.

Or you may be familiar with the opposite, meeting someone that you’re just absolutely drawn to, but can’t figure out why. They got that magnetic aura, son!

A practice like metta meditation really helps to shine up those vibes you’re putting out there, and really make ’em magnetic. Add metta meditation after your breathing practices. It can also be done before bed, upon waking or any time you need a mood boost. Here’s how it’s done.

Metta

  1. You begin by sitting down, closing your eyes, and wishing happiness upon yourself. This is crucial. A lot, and I mean a lot, of people don’t like themselves. If that’s your modus operandi, if that’s your default settings, then THAT’S what you’re projecting out there onto the world. So begin by wishing yourself happiness.
  2. Plant a small smile on your face and picture yourself smiling and truly happy and content. Some people like to repeat phrases, such as “May I have peace and happiness, and be filled with joy.” Some are more visual and imagine sending healing light towards themselves. No matter what you do, make sure you really try to mean it, and to genuinely feel the feeling of wishing yourself well.
  3. Sit with those feelings, the image of yourself smiling and truly happy, and repeat those phrases for 15-20 seconds.
  4. Next, picture the person you already love the most, smiling, carefree, content, and repeat the process for them. For me, this is my niece or nephew. Generate those feelings toward whoever this second person is, and realllly try to seep and saturate yourself with the feeling of wishing them the absolute best out of life.
  5. Choose another person as your object of meditation and repeat the process, picturing them happy as can be, sending good vibes to them and wishing them happiness.
  6. After five minutes or so, wish everyone in the world happiness and peace.

Now some of us aren’t very in touch with our emotions. I legitimately think I’m a robot sometimes, watching people seesaw from one extreme emotion to the next, wondering if I ever experience real emotions myself. If you don’t feel much your first time, that’s ok. Just keep at it.

If you have real bad issues with loving yourself, start with the person you love most. Generate as strong of feelings as possible for them, and then switch to yourself and try to let those feelings carry over.

I guarantee that with some practice, this will begin to generate strong feelings of wellbeing for yourself and others. It’s absolutely one of the best feelings of my day, and that happiness carries over to when I’m not in seated meditation. It’s like training your mind to be happy, and to have happiness on command.

Again, those good feelings get encoded in your energy field, in your aura. Other people pick up on these vibes, and they’re good vibrations in your bioelectric field.

Plus, if you wanna talk Heart Rate Variability, this is what happened during one of my metta meditations – it damn-near TRIPLED my HRV.

r/Semenretention - Part 3 - Strengthening Your Aura and Personal Magnetism

Again, a higher HRV means higher heart/body synchronization, and a more coherent electromagnetic/pranic field that you’re emitting. That means you’re radiating health and coherence, and that is magnetic.

Till next time friends.

Recommended Reading –

The Biology of Transcendence

Prana and Pranayama

Be Here Now

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Part 2 – Cultivation and Sublimation Basics

This was my second post on the Reddit sub for Semen Retention.

Part 1 here..

To recap, that charge of confidence, that sexual energy that just makes the whole world juicy when you practice Semen Retention.. The Taoist Qi Gong practitioners call that energy Jing. Yogis know it as Ojas.It’s that energy that makes you feel alive and confident, that lets you burn the candle at both ends as a teenager, letting you masturbate and have sex to your little hearts content, party hard all night and then get up and do it again in the morning.

It’s that good good.

Let’s learn how to cultivate even more of it and transmute it, turning us ordinary Joes into the Ubermensch..

Remember that the following terms are interchangeable and I will be bouncing back and forth between them – Jing/Ojas, Qi/Prana, and Shen/Tejas.Some conceptual frameworks to work with

The leaky cup

The first framework we went over in Post 1, that of a cup with holes or leaks in it. We are that cup, and our goal is to fill it up with that sweet, sweet Jing nectar. The way we go about doing this is by avoiding things that create leaks while at the same time*, doing things to further increase Jing/Ojas.*

The biggest leak in our cup comes from squandering our seed – this must be retained and then sublimated. There are many other lesser ways we dissipate our Jing, but these smaller acts do add up, so we should be mindful.

At the same time we go about plugging up these leaks, we do things to actively increase our Jing as well. The big hitters in this field include using the techniques handed down within Taoist Qi Gong and Tantric Yoga – breathing exercises, visualizations, bodily postures, movements and gestures, as well as herbal therapies and sexual practices. These all radically increase our Jing and enhance our Semen Retention practice. This stuff is like adding jet fuel to your Semen Retention fire. The practices ahead amplify that drive, confidence, brain power and magnetism many, many times over.

The mind/body as energetic system

I’m sure most of you are familiar the image below, that of chakras and nadis, the vortices and channels through which Prana/Qi flow. The map below is the one most commonly used within Hatha and Tantra yoga, and the Taoists have a similar map.

The names, functions and significance of the chakras and nadis are not important at this stage. In fact, whether you believe in them at all isn’t important either.

What’s important for us right now is to start thinking of the body as a kind of battery, an energetic system. What we’re going to be doing as we cultivate Jing is to increase the energy within this system. As Jing increases, Qi/Prana does as well. This is why you suddenly have so much energy and drive to get things done after retaining for awhile! This energy can be further sublimated into Shen/Tejas, that cognitive/spiritual power and radiance some people seem to exude. Anyone who has experienced that charismatic magnetism knows just what I’m talking about.

A very important point I forgot to mention in the previous post is that while building Jing increases Qi, which then increases Shen, we can also work from top down and in any order we want. Conserving Shen can increase Qi and Jing, and increasing Qi can be sublimated either into Shen or condensed back down into Jing. Qi/Prana is the easiest to work with, so this energy system is key. This is one of the key things I haven’t really seen mentioned on this sub much.

Viewing the body as energetic system is HUGELY important for three reasons – one, we will be using visualization practices for sublimation based off of these energetic maps.

Two, think of a wire that conducts electricity. If it isn’t clean, if it’s rusted, if it’s covered in gunk and grime, will it be able to conduct electricity? Poorly, if at all. In fact just back in May I had to clean off the terminals of my car battery because they were corroded and my car kept dying. Impurities impede conductivity.

Finally, and most importantly, we have to be careful so as to not blow a fuse in the circuit. Imagine what happens when water starts flowing through a hose, but halfway through the water hits a kink. All that pressure builds and builds, at best preventing the flow of water, at worst causing an explosion somewhere along the line.

Whether you believe in chakras or not, you’re surely aware that you have a nervous system, and that this system is very sensitive. Electromagnetic energy (Prana/Qi) travels along this highway of nerves. You also have an endocrine system, which produces all of the hormones (Jing) in your body. The fact that EMF can disrupt the pineal gland’s production of melatonin should tell you just how sensitive this system is.

Yoga and Qi Gong, amongst other things, strengthen and balance the nervous and endocrine systems.Those systems all happen to line up almost perfectly with the chakras and nadis show above.

“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.” – Nikola Tesla

“My brain is only a receiver, in the Universe there is a core from which we obtain knowledge, strength and inspiration. I have not penetrated into the secrets of this core, but I know that it exists.” – Nikola Tesla

Basics of Jing Cultivation

Alright guys, I’ve already written quite a bit, so let’s jump to some practical advice. Nothing in this next section is going to be mind blowing, but it’s essential you start chipping away at this stuff now. Remember, you’ve already plugged the biggest leak, and keeping that leak plugged is huge! Later on we’ll discuss learning to orgasm without ejaculation and how you can begin to permit occasional ejaculation, if you so desire.

How Jing is Commonly Wasted

  • Poor Diet
  • Lack of sleep/Poor quality sleep
  • Abuse of drugs, particularly stimulants (including ADHD meds), opiates, binge drinking and smoking cigarettes, etc – These all cause your body to release and burn through hormones and neurotransmitters (Jing), and affect the nervous system (Qi). Even coffee and caffeine cause your body to burn through dopamine, norepinephrine, cortisol and more. The key here is to just not abuse any of these things! Moderation, my friends, and if you are prescribed medications, be smart and don’t just stop taking them!
  • Excessive ruminating, anxiety, depression… in a word, poor mental hygiene
  • Excessive exertion – Running multiple marathons a year, working out hard every single day, “burning the candle at both ends”, too much cerebral work and not enough “embodied” work (or the reverse)
  • Excessive fasting
  • Erratic mood swings/intense emotions – just have balanced emotions. Think of every embarrassment, failure, and setback you’ve ever faced. Guess what? You’re absolutely fine right now, in this moment. It’s not worth the excessive worry, embarrassment and anger you felt. Think of every toy you ever obsessed over and begged for for Christmas. When you got it, you were elated! And now, you’ve likely thrown it out or it’s collecting dust.
  • Hedonism – This is gonna be a biggie for us in this age, and this is a constant battle. Hedonism refers to the fact that we live in a MASSIVELY overstimulating world and it’s waaay too easy to overindulge. Our food is literally engineered to be addictively tasty while having almost no nutrition. Everywhere we look there is another screen with flashing lights and pretty colors vying for attention, and apps based off of intermittent reinforcement that suck us back in. We are the mouse in the cage constantly pressing the lever, desperately hoping for that next “hit”. Read, reread and read again u/freeanonsoul‘s post The Spirit of Seeing. This is where NoFap stems from, this is where “dopamine fasting” stems from. This is the true meaning of Brahmacharya, it is not just celibacy but control of the mind and senses!! More on this later.

“A true saying it is, Desire hath no rest, is infinite in itself, endless, and as one calls it, a perpetual rack, or horse-mill.” – Robert Burton

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” – Henry David Thoreau

“A really efficient totalitarian state would be one in which the all-powerful executive of political bosses and their army of managers control a population of slaves who do not have to be coerced, because they love their servitude.” – Aldous Huxley

How Jing can be Easily Cultivated

  • Proper rest – Practice good sleep hygiene! If there are any podcast junkies out there, check out Matthew Walker on JRE. This is THE biggest way to maintain Jing outside of SR.
  • Proper nutrition ~ Nutrient density – It’s pretty simple guys – Jing is the strength and integrity of allllll our hormones, neurotransmitters, immune system, cellular structure, and even DNA. All of this is built out of nutrients we get from our diet! The topic of nutrition alone would take many posts for us, so for now, try to make sure your diet is based off of whole foods, get adequate protein, healthy fat sources (get Omega 3’s, avoid fried foods, vegetable and seed oils), eat plenty of green veggies and berries (or use green powders to start), organic is preferable but not necessary, and use a quality multivitamin and quality fish oil.
  • Proper nutrition ~ Detoxification – Before you lump me in with all the MLM people you see on your facebook pedaling detox products, understand what I mean. “Detoxing” is a fad, a gimmick, and a way to make money off of gullible people who expect quick fixes without putting in the work. That ain’t us. However, the body absolutely and 100% actively detoxifies itself all day, every day. We need to make sure we are helping it to do so, firstly because it is a huuuge drain on energy levels to be constantly detoxifying surplus chemicals (especially the xenoestrogens that are dragging out testosterone levels down), waste products and end products of basic metabolism. Detoxification also helps us become more sensitive to Prana/Qi, which is absolutely going to come in handy when we start doing Pranayama and visualizations. Finally, and this is a biggie, when it comes to one of the most powerful ways to build the Three Treasures, through herbs, you’ll get very little to no effect from them if your body isn’t able to properly utilize and assimilate them. It’s also extremely easy to do – eat a lot more greens, practice intermittent fasting (I personally do at least 8:16 most days), and make sure you’re eating mostly fresh whole foods and not packaged junk. Daniel Reid talks a lot about this in his book, and within Hatha Yoga they begin with the Shatkarmas, or Six Actions, to hasten the cleansing process.
  • Proper exercise – nothing new here. Lifting weights help optimize male hormone levels andhelps us in the beginning to manage some of that excess energy/horniness/positive aggressiveness. Cardio helps us build up a sweat and eliminate toxins both through sweating and breathing – yes, toxins are eliminated through the lungs, that’s how breathalyzers work. Exercising 3-5 times a week is a great goal.
  • Positive Mental Attitude/Compassion/Generosity – Real men, and people coming from places of real power, are almost always givers. They come from a place of surplus, and they want to share that with those around them. There’s a reason the first two of the the 8 limbs of Raja Yoga are based on ethics, why Jesus preached to love thy neighbor, and why the Buddhists are so focused on generosity, compassion, right speech and right living. Generosity, compassion and love are a never-ending source of energy and strength. What you give, you receive back ten-fold, and I feel like most of us on this sub know this. Bunch of helpful and positive fuckers.

Practice Stage 1 – Asana and Pranayama

On to the good stuff! This post is just going to cover some basics, but remember, this is the foundation upon which your castle is built! The goal is to build a strong and supple nervous system that is able to handle higher and higher amounts of Pranic energy.

It is better to practice a small amount every day than it is to do longer sessions every once in a while! Pay attention to how you feel before and after the practice, and to how you feel in your everyday life as time goes on.

Asana

The word asana just means posture. These different postures serve three immediate functions for us – they strengthen and purify the nerves/nadis for higher Pranic loads, they prepare us to sit comfortably when we do Pranayama/meditation, AND they enhance Jing.

Jing is largely about our hormones, remember? Hormones are produced by endocrine glands, and asanas squeeze, massage and tone these glands, enhancing blood-flow to them and their secretion of precious Jing hormones. Chakras line up almost perfectly with all your major endocrine glands.. Hmm..

I’m going to give the most basic set of asanas. This is the backbone I personally use, and if I’m tight on time, this is it verbatim. I’m not trying to sneakily convert a bunch of dudes on Reddit into becoming soccer moms, so we’re going to keep things batshit simple. It includes a dynamic sequence, a forward bend, some back bends, a spinal twist and an inverted posture – other than the fact it’s missing shavasana, that’s a complete asana practice!

Asanas feel pretty damn good and are a transformative practice. Remember, asanas improve endocrine function and therefor directly increase Jing! Feel free to learn more than what I teach here. Hell, take that Big Dick energy to the local yoga club and meet yourself some honey bunnies.

Practice –

  • 2 full rounds of surya namaskara – sun salutations. Note that 1 full round is really two half-rounds – the first half you take your right foot back first, the second half you take your left foot back, and that completes one round
  • 1-2 minutes half-paschimottanasana – this is literally the one-legged sit-and-reach we did in gym class growing up. 30-60 seconds to the right side first, then with the left leg
  • 30 seconds dhanurasana – bow pose
  • 30 seconds bhujangasana – cobra pose. I like to look over my right shoulder, hold for a few seconds, go down to starting position, then arch the back up again and look over the left shoulder for a few seconds. This gives an enhanced massage to the kidneys and adrenals, which as you’ll learn later, are the “seat of Jing”.
  • 60 seconds ardha matsyendrasana – 30 seconds to the right, 30 to the left
  • 15-30 seconds salamba sarvangasana – shoulder stand. This practice will be crucial for more advanced sublimation!

Time ~ 10-12 minutes

Notes ~ Practice on an empty stomach. Two hours after a meal or half hour prior to a meal. First thing in the morning is great, although you will be noticeably stiffer than if you practiced later in the day, and I don’t meant morning wood. Go straight from asanas into pranayama.

Pranayama

This is the active cultivation and manipulation of Prana, or Qi. In Qi Gong, Yi (the mind), directs Qi. Qi directs Jing. Therefor, by combining the mind (awareness) with the breath, we are able to sublimate our Jing.

The benefits are tremendous, but for us right now, it includes not just increasing our Prana at any given moment, and thus energy, but also sublimating Jing into Qi into Shen. When we increase our Prana during practice it can then be used to enhance meditation (Qi->Shen), or can then be “stored” as Jing.

Each time you sit to do pranayama, you are actively sublimating your Jing!

We can also use pranayama for daily life. Need to boost your energy before you lift a heavy weight? There are multiple pranayamas for that. Need to calm down before a job interview? Got you covered. Need help sleeping? Easy peasy. Need to boost your immune system and warm the body in preparation for an ice plunge? Check out ya boy Wim Hof.

Do one of the following for 5-10 minutes after asanas, preferably alternating which practice you do each session –

  • Nadi Shodhana – This is alternating the breath through the left and right nostrils. Shodhanameans to purify, so this practice is all about purifying your nadis, the channels through which Prana flows. In Taoism, these are called meridians. If you could only do one pranayama for the rest of your life, this would be the one, and while it seems simple, it has IMMENSE benefits
  1. Sit in lotus, half-lotus, cross-legged, whatever is comfortable and keeps your spine straight.
  2. Curl you pointer and middle finger into the palm of your right hand, so that only your thumb, ring and pinky fingers are still extended
  3. Exhale
  4. Close the right nostril with the thumb, and inhale a full but gentle breath through the left nostril
  5. Close the left nostril and exhale through the right
  6. Keeping left nostril closed, inhale again through the right
  7. Close the right nostril, and exhale through the left
  8. If you’d like to add a visual component, imagine inhaling white light through the left nostril down the left side of the spine to the base, and then exhaling it back up the right side of the spine and out through the right nostril. Reverse the visualization for the next breath
  • Spinal Breathing – this is a concept used in Taoism, Tantra and Yoga. This is a powerful practice for cultivating the Three Treasures, so get real familiar with it.
  1. Sit in lotus, half-lotus, cross-legged, whatever is comfortable and keeps your spine straight
  2. Close your eyes and exhale
  3. Inhale slowly and evenly, filling your lower belly first, then mid abdomen, and finally the lungs around your clavicle
  4. Exhale slowly and evenly, reversing the order
  5. Inhale again, except this time move your awareness up a very thin channel or thread that starts at the perineum, moves up the center of the spinal cord, up through the brainstem and into the exact center of the head
  6. Repeat the process but in reverse, drawing the the awareness from the center of the brain (Ajna chakra) back down through the center of the spinal cord, and to the perineum at the base of the spine (Mooladhara chakra). Repeat this visualization with each inhale and exhale

For right now, your breathing practice will also be your meditation practice, as it requires a calm, concentrated mind to do the visualizations.

Notes ~ Again, empty stomach is preferred. You may feel tingling or other pleasurable sensations, these are a sign of progress and will only greatly increase with practice.

If you have really congested airways, look into neti pots or a vapor inhaler.

Key Takeaways

  • Start thinking of yourself as a leaky cup and as an energetic being
  • Get good sleep, eat well and cleanly, reduce stress, start cutting back on partying, don’t do anything to excess
  • Start exercising if you haven’t already, and try to do more good in the world
  • Asanas enhance Jing and allow for easy sublimation
  • Pranayama is a simple but powerful practice, and the quickest and most powerful way to sublimate Jing

Recommended reading ~ Practice

The Tao of Health, Sex and Longevity

Asana Pranayama Mudra Bandha

Recommended reading ~ Mindset

The Spirit of Seeing

Invictus

Walden

Song of Myself

Island

Recommended Listening

Sinatra’s My Way

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The Ten Semen Retention Commandments

This was a post meant for Reddit, but it kept getting banned for some reason. A user was curious so here it is – enjoy.

These are just ten guidelines I keep in mind when it comes to SR. Yours may differ, and these might even change for me as time goes on.

The Ten Commandments of Semen Retention

  1. Thou shalt preserve thy seed and retain this sacred energy
  2. Thou shalt increase, nourish and protect this energy
  3. Sublimate and invest this energy in the betterment of thyself
  4. Thou shalt strengthen and develop the physical body
  5. Thou shalt strengthen and develop the mind – meditate
  6. Free thyself from the shackles of comfort, distraction and sensual lust, meeting fear head on and seeking beneficial discomfort
  7. Thou shalt develop and grow the heart
  8. Thou shalt actively help others – a rising tide lifts all ships
  9. Separate from Woman, that one may learn what it is to be Man
  10. Return, and embrace and respect Woman as equal

1. Preserve thy seed – This one needs no explanation. It’s the essential first step. Abstain from masturbation, and if having sex, try not to release. That second part is tricky, but can be done.

2. Increase, nourish, protect this sacred energy – That sexual energy can still be squandered though, throwing it away to social media, excessive gaming, drugs/partying, etc. Many people stop at simply not masturbating. They’ve plugged the leak – what else is there to do? Unfortunately, they fail to realize all the ways in which this energy can be further enhanced. They also don’t realize how easy it is to waste this energy in sensual distractions. The rubber meets the road when you learn to not just prevent its leaking, but to increase this sexual energy as well.

3. Sublimate and invest this energy back into yourself – Conserving sexual energy means a sudden increase in willpower, and a drive to get things done. What are you going to do with all this new energy? Now’s the time to set up healthy habits and routines to invest this energy and newfound badass-ness in. Read uplifting texts; start working out; start that business you always kept on the back-burner; ask out that girl you’ve been crushing on; pick that guitar back up; figure out your goals, write em out, and start chipping away. Investing this energy back into yourself increases it ten-fold – don’t squander it on meaningless pursuits. It also keeps your motivation high – look at all this stuff you’ve accomplished after you started retaining. Part 2 went over some sublimation insights.

4. Strengthen the body – I highly recommend you guys look into lifting weights – it will help rebalance hormone levels, i.e. increase testosterone, DHT and HGH. Hill sprints are great in this department as well, and you’ll get a huge confidence boost once you see your body starting to develop. It’s also a great way to practice discomfort. Whatever you do, stay healthy through diet, exercise of some sort, stress reduction and good sleep hygiene. If you’re massively overweight, sickly, or up all night getting high and gaming, you really think cutting out porn and masturbation is gonna improve your life much?

5. Strengthen and develop the mind – The mind is the tool through which you interact with the entire world around you, and through which you interact with yourself. IT IS THE GATEKEEPER! In my eyes, this is the most important commandment. You don’t want to be at the mercy of the world, because the world is unpredictable. It’s unreliable. At the same time, you don’t want to be at the mercy of your internal world, of your cravings, desires, attachments, fears, and emotions. A strong, well-developed mind is unruffled by both exterior events and internal states – it is like a huge battleship, able to weather any turbulent storm, and wait it out till the seas settle. The mind is key – see Part 5.

6. Overcome your attachment to comfort and sensual distraction, and embrace fear and discomfort – Part 4 went into detail on this. Your fear and attachment to comfort keep you stuck at your current level. You must confront both to start progressing. “We don’t rise to level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training” – Archilochus. You’ll never reach your goals if you keep doing the same comfortable, safe shit you’ve always done. And when shit hits the fan, if you’re weak in heart and mind, you’ll get scared, you’ll falter, and you’ll shrink from the uncomfortable. Time to shake things up, challenge and scare yourself, and nut up!

7. Develop the Heart – At a bare minimum, practice compassion, patience, generosity and forgiveness. Start developing these things towards yourself first, then others. Think of your heart and mind as a movie projector. Thoughts and feelings pop up, and these get projected outward. This is why some people have good vibes, and some people bad vibes – you’re just picking up on their thoughts and feelings. When you start retaining, you start projecting those thoughts and feelings out there BIG TIME. Your little movie projector has turned into a spotlight/Bat signal situation – your vibes become strong as hell, and right as rain, people will notice. You don’t want negative thoughts and feelings muddying up your Shen/pranic field/aura, so as we develop the mind, we simultaneously develop the heart and emotions. Part 3 goes into detail on this.

8. Help others, a rising tide lifts all ships – What do you think of when you think of a real man? Big, buff, burly and strong? Rich and charming? Athletic prowess? I think of my father, my grandfather, and my stepfather. Each are very successful by every metric of the word, but most importantly, these are men that come from a place of abundance, and are quick to help those around them. In my eyes, a willingness to help others comes from a place of strength and abundance. Think of the alpha male in a tribe – sure, they get all the credit as the toughest guy in the group, but they also provide for the rest of the group. They look after the others, and they make sure they’re taken care of and protected. You’ve discovered this great gift of retention – it’s now your responsibility to help others less fortunate. Generosity is a gift that gives back, and a gift that you can never run out of. People are more willing to help you when you’ve already helped them. It’s called the rule of reciprocity.

9. Separate from the Feminine for a period of time – Why do you think rites of passage are common among all indigenous peoples? Both the men and women have their own versions. For men, it usually involves separating from the women for a period of time, during which they complete arduous tasks and hardships, even usually a symbolic death and rebirth. The child dies and is reborn a man. Semen retention is a step in this direction. But you can’t reap the benefits of semen retention by simply not ejaculating – if you’re still obsessed with women, well, this practice won’t fully blossom. I strongly advise to start a period of deep self-discovery and self-development when you start retaining. I’m not saying dump your lady, I’m not saying avoid all females like the plague, and I’m absolutely not saying look down on them or disrespect them. I’m just saying don’t obsess over them. A bit of selfishness is healthy right now. It’s likely not feasible for you to split from society and go hunting wild boar with the boys for the summer, but just focus on yourself. David Deida talks a lot about this.

10. Return to and embrace the Feminine – This is the last step in the process, but guess what? It’s come full circle, the process has been completed. But like the alchemists that we are, we no longer are dealing with women from a place of craving or want – we are now complete, whole, and able to appreciate the feminine as our equal and our complement. It’s very important to cultivate the feminine energy within as well, and as counterintuitive as it sounds, it will make you into more of a man. But that’s a topic for a whole other time.

What would some of your commandments be?

My challenge to you brethren – create a modern version of a rites of passage. This could be a weekend solo camping trip, with no cell phone and no distractions, where you contemplate your place in this world. It could be 3-5 day fast – work up to this one if you’re inexperienced. It could be a meditation retreat. For the psychonauts, it could be a heroic dose. You could go all out and do a 3 day contemplative fast/vision quest out in the woods culminating in a psychedelic experience!

Whatever you do, make sure it contains three elements – it is done with intentionality, that some part of you symbolically dies, and that you are reborn and reintegrated into the modern world.

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Cultivating Sexual Energy with Herbs

An interesting thing happens when we first start on this semen retention journey – the world becomes juicy. Things go hi-definition, things seem to pop and glow on their own. Music becomes richer, the air feels crisper, emotions are deeper – we feel more alive. 

And the women, goddamn.. The best analogy I can give is the difference in the way food tastes when you’re not so hungry vs when you’re starving. It’s the same meal, but tastes so much better. A similar principle is at play for me every time I looked at the female form – same girls but damn do they become more attractive. My whole life, and all of my senses, upgrade by a solid 15-20% when I build up this sexual energy. 

The ladies, much to my surprise, seemed to notice this increase in sexual energy as well. I was getting much more attention than usual. Tons of glances from random girls. My female friends were much more cuddly – fine by me. Being a bartender, I got much more attention and tips from the female patrons. You guys are all familiar with this effect – we just exude this sexual charisma.

Now I could rationalize this in all sorts of ways – it was the Baader-Meinhoff effect, or pheromones, or maybe my testosterone had somehow increased leading to me having better posture, confidence and charisma. Maybe. But it didn’t account for girls I hadn’t seen or spoken to in months suddenly sliding into my DMs. It was like I was just broadcasting this sexual energy throughout the cosmos. Life was good, my friends.

The thing is, at this point I wasn’t practicing strict semen retention, I had merely cut back. I was building this powerful sexual energy through consuming certain herbs, and damn were they potent.

The Connection

We know how all of this stuff works. How increasing one’s Jing via semen retention leads to an increase in Qi within the body, creating a magnetic aura. Being in such a high energy state is simply attractive – people want to be around you because you literally radiate energy. And if you practiced meditation and had strong positive vibes, all the more attractive.

Part 3 went into detail on what our auras actually are, on how to strengthen them and how to make them particularly magnetic. This post is about how to make our auras even more magnetic to women.

There are three effects at work when it comes to energetic attraction, the first two of which we’ve already covered –

  1. People with less energy are attracted to those of with ample amounts of energy – this is why people and even animals and puppies get attracted us while retaining – we have a ton of energy, and that feels good for others to be around. This is also the principle behind people following obviously dangerous cult leaders – the cult leaders have strong auras. We on the semen retention path naturally attract others.
  2. People are attracted to those with very high frequency energy. Someone who is genuinely loving, caring, giving and nice is welcome anywhere, and people are sad to see them go. Lift others up, even if with just your presence, and you’ll be in high demand. Someone with lots of Shen is like this – they may not even have abundant sexual energy, so their aura may not be super strong, but the energy they give off is so positive that people love to be around them. 
  3. In terms of sexual attraciton, yang attracts yin, and yin attracts yang. We haven’t touched on this yet, but this is the sexual attraction we experience when we retain. This is exactly the same as the negative and positive polarities of a magnet attracting one another. As men, we generally have more yang energy, and women naturally have more yin. So when we retain, not only do we build up the energy of Jing, Qi and Shen, but because we’re men, we also build up yang energy. This naturally, easily and powerfully attracts women.

This is how I was able to build up sexual energy and attract ladies without retaining more than a week or two in the beginning – I was taking potent herbs that boosted these energies within myself.

Yin, Yang and Sexual Attraction

Yin and yang are two opposite but complementary forces within all of us and all of creation. We’ve all seen the yin yang symbol – within the yin is a kernel of yang, and within yang, a kernel of yin. They are two different parts in the same cycle of energy.

Yin energy is naturally cooling, receptive, yielding and contractive. It is the part of the cycle in which energy is assimilated and stored.

Yang energy is naturally warming, dynamic, expressive, expansive. It is the part of the cycle in which energy is used up and expressed for a certain purpose.

Women are generally more yin in nature. They receive sperm, and then assimilate all the energy needed to grow that baby within them. They generally are the ones waiting for the man to come approach them, although this has a societal aspect to it as well. Women are generally more cautious and less likely to take risks. They are more caring and nurturing. In tribal societies, women usually gathered food and stayed in the village, nurturing the young.

Men are generally more yang in nature. We shoot forth our frothy, funky foam into the female. We generally are the ones to approach the woman in a social situation. There’s a reason men are more likely to die young, because we are prone to doing stupid shit – we have more yang energy than we know what to do with. We are generally more aggressive, both in terms of going after what we want and in terms of physical aggression. In tribal societies, we were the ones going out and hunting game.

So why do we seem to magically attract the ladies when we begin a semen retention practice? Why do other guys seem to suddenly respect us so much more? Not only do we have an abundance of high vibration energy, but that energy is extremely yang in nature. And we can enhance this energy even further with the right supplemental herbs.

Yin and Yang Herbs

Remember above how I said yin is the part of cycle where energy is stored and assimilated, and yang is the release and expression of this energy? This means that, especially in the beginning, you want to be focused more on building yin Jing, setting up a solid foundation for when you take more yang herbs. 

When we retain semen, we are inherently increasing our yang energy. It increases testosterone and dopamine, two very yang substances, and decreases prolactin, a very yin substance. This naturally makes us feel quite amazing – that’s yang Jing at work. By using yin herbs, we build a bigger foundation or capacity for even more yang energy. 

If we want to cultivate insane amounts of sexual energy, we need to focus on cultivating yin Jing first. Yin is the ground out of which yang energy can do its thing. Yin herbs aren’t estrogenic, they don’t increase prolactin or oxytocin, and they won’t make you girly. They simply build up sexual fluids and deep, restorative energy – yang herbs get all that energy heated up and moving around, so we can more easily express it.

These herbs are the fastest way to cultivate sexual energy, other than having tantric sex, which most of us just aren’t ready for. Going back to the leaky bucket analogy, semen retention increases our sexual energy, our Jing, by plugging up our biggest leak; yoga, breathing exercises and visualizations, herbs and tantric sex directly increase this energy, turning the faucet all the way up.

The Easiest Sexual Energy Hack 

Jing-boosting herbs help bolster our hormone and neurotransmitter levels, improve our fertility, increase sperm health and sperm count, enhance blood flow and circulation, and are great for the immune system. They’re anti-aging, and many are powerful cognitive enhancers. 

For all those that doubt that these herbs can have any effect on this practice, reread that last paragraph – they increase sperm health and sperm count. Pretty key considering this whole sub is based off of retaining semen. 

The more powerful yang herbs are also extremely potent aphrodisiacs, so if you’re already struggling everyday with temptation, leave these for later.

To get the most out of these herbs, you need to have a strong digestive system and balanced endocrine system. If your digestive system is weak, you won’t be able to absorb some of these compounds. In fact, Daniel Reid devotes a whole chapter in The Tao of Health, Sex and Longevity to improving the digestive system. So step one is to make sure your digestive system is cleaned out and working in tip top shape. 

Next, if your hormones and neurotransmitters are all out of whack, these herbs won’t be able to work their magic, because they work directly with the endocrine system, with your hormones and neurotransmitters. It will take forever to see results if you’re constantly in fight or flight mode, your body dumping out loads of adrenaline and cortisol every day. 

It’s important to note that because they work with your endocrine system, they also take time to fully kick in. These aren’t extracted synthetic chemicals, they are tonic in nature – they need some time to build up in the system. Some of them you may notice in a few days, but many take a few weeks.

The best way to purify the digestive tract is simply by doing a few fasts – a couple 2-3 day green juice fasts would be sufficient. If fasting just won’t work in your schedule, I suggest eating lots of fiber and tons of greens for a week or two. Things that heal the digestive tract, such as homemade bone broth, collagen, marshmallow root or colostrum (which is a potent Jing-boosting substance!) are of great help here too.

The best way to get your nervous and endocrine systems in good order is to just practice de-stressing. If you’ve cut back on stimulants, social media and gaming, and have been doing yoga and meditation like advised, and get ample, high-quality sleep, you should be good to go.

Quick Warning

Some of these yang herbs are insanely potent. Those of us with months, even years of retention under our belts gotta be careful, cuz these things increase our sexual energy to insane heights. There is a high likelihood of you spilling your seed if you try to start off with the more potent tonics.

Remember being a teenager and sporting a chub all day long, ogling over every pubescent pair of tits you saw? It’s this, and then some. I have tried more than a few formulas that started off with me feeling great and getting all sorts of attention from the ladies, but that quickly left me surrounded by empty bottles of Jergens, dick chafed, utterly defeated.

Some of these herbs you’re going to learn about will kick your ass if you’re not careful, but they can also be a boon if you slip up – you’ll be able to gain your sexual energy back much faster. I have a very potent damage control formula just in case this does happen, or in case you plan on a special occasion to release.

In all things, we seek balance, and especially so here. Yang herbs are a ton of fun, but they must be preceded by and balanced with yin herbs. 

On to the good stuff, boys.

Getting Started

Keep in mind that you get what you pay for with these herbs. Cheap herbs are absolute crap and since the majority of this stuff comes from China, you run the risk of getting contaminated product. Luckily I’ve been at this for a long time and know which companies put out quality products. These herbs also must be taken on an empty stomach – first thing waking up or a couple hours after meals.

Schisandra – builds Jing, increases sperm count, and has the special property of “locking in” Jing

This herb should be the cornerstone of your Jing-building protocol. It actually increases all Three Treasures, Jing, Qi and Shen, and is one of only a handful of herbs to do so. It is slightly yin, but most importantly for us, it has an astringent quality that “locks in” Jing. Its astringent quality helps conserve fluids, and in the case of schisandra, this means it helps conserve semen, combating wet dreams and other leakages. When/if you start practicing tantric sex, this herb will be an essential part of that practice.

Schisandra is said to vastly increase the “Water Qi in the sexual organs.” Increasing “water Qi in the sexual organs” means exactly what you think – it increases sperm production in men and vaginal secretions in women. More than one study points to this fact, with another summarizing that schisandra “promotes spermatogenesis by upregulating abnormal sex hormones and decreasing proinflammatory cytokines (interleukin-6; TNF-α).” 

It has a bevy of other benefits as well, helping improve deep sleep, detoxifying the liver, improving skin quality, and because it is an adaptogen, it helps reduce fatigue and keep it at bay. This is the cornerstone of my Jing-building routine, and in fact, many Qi Gong practitioners start with taking 10 grams of this herb for 100 consecutive days to build a strong base of Jing and Qi. Why stop at 100 days? 

Ashwagandha – builds Jing, is mildly yang, and lowers levels of cortisol, a major Jing-leaking hormone

Ashwagandha actually comes to us from Ayurveda, India’s traditional system of healing. Within Ayurveda, it is considered an Ojas rasayana – rasayana meaning a rejuvenative. It’s sometimes called Indian ginseng.

Ashwagandha improves thyroid and testosterone levels, making it slightly yang in nature. Many people notice a slight increase in sex drive, but not anything overpowering. Very suitable for us in the beginning stages of semen retention.

Like most Jing-building herbs, it increases spermatogenesis, improves hormone levels and boosts cognition. Its best attribute for us on the semen retention path? It’s one of the few proven herbs to lower cortisol, a stress hormone that is a huge leak of Jing.

Most of us are chronically stressed out and it shows. We try to make up for our lack of energy (which is caused by stress) by overusing stimulants, further draining our bodies – we in this sub are well aware of this vicious cycle. Ashwagandha is so powerful for us because it helps bring cortisol, our primary stress hormone, back into a normal range. This would give anyone an advantage in today’s world, but for the gang on the retain train? Stress is the biggest waste of Jing other than emission, and this herb shuts stress right down. Now we’re not only retaining semen, but cutting down on stress with ashwagandha and then further locking in our sexual energy with schisandra. Amazing.

Ashwagandha also boosts levels of the calming neurotransmitter GABA so it’s great for anxiety, as well as brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), which helps to heal damaged neurons and help us to grow new connections within the brain. Ashwa has a ton of other benefits too, as listed in the previous study linked.

Cistanche – improves male hormones, increases dopamine, steroids for the brain, may enlarge the male appendage 

This is possibly my favorite yang herb. Cistanche is a flowering herb found in the desert plateaus of Mongolia – in fact it’s said that cistanche was consumed daily by Genghis Khan, who, as we all know, did a whole lotta fuckin.

It’s commonly referred to as “the stalk enlarger” (hint, hint) in China, and in The Essence of Medical Prescriptions, a tenth century medical text, cistanche was found in 80% of the formulas used to help male impotence and infertility. It improves blood flow and enhances erection quality.

One study found that cistanche increased sperm count and sperm motility, nearly tripling sperm count! It concluded “serum level of progesterone and testosterone in rats was also increased by CTE administration… Our results suggest that the increase in sex hormone levels could be mediated by the induction of testicular steroidogenic enzymes.”

Multiple studies show it enhances cognition via increases in BDNF, glial cell-line derived neurotrophic factor (GDNF), and nerve growth factor. It’s basically steroids for your brain.

Two companies joined forces with Peking University to study Cistanche, with many interesting results. They found that cistanche increases the body’s production of SOD (one of our most powerful endogenous antioxidants), improves the plumpness and appearance of the skin, increases amounts of neurotransmitters (like dopamine), improves learning and memory, and (shocker!) is a potent aphrodisiac.

Desert Hyacinth (Cistanche tubulosa) · iNaturalist
Cistanche Tubulosa

Polygala – anti-depressant, increases will power, directly transmutes sexual energy

Now this herb actually doesn’t help increase Jing at all, but it’s a powerful tool in our toolbox all the same. 

Polygala is one of the most powerful Shen tonics available, and is known as the “will strengthener” within Traditional Chinese Medicine. Ancient Taoists said that if there was a fourth treasure, it was will power, or Zhi. Polygala is said to directly increase one’s will power, a very crucial thing for us on the semen retention path.

Polygala opens up the Penetrating Vessel, the energy channel in the body that runs up the spine, from the base chakra and sexual organs up to the crown of the head and the brain. This is the very channel that sexual energy gets sublimated into, and is why we practice alternate nostril and spinal breathing. 

Polygala also directly connects the energy of the lower chakras to that of the heart chakra, or connects the “Kidney” to the “Heart”. Within TCM, the Kidney is the seat of Jing, of sexual energy, with the Heart being the seat of Shen. So polygala directly sublimates Jing into Shen, sexual energy into its higher form – love – and that frequency of love saturates our auras.

Polygala is also a potent anti-depressant, with the constituent Yuanzhi-1 increasing dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrinetwice as effectively as the prescription anti-depressant Cymbalta. It increases neuroplasticity, increasing both BDNF and nerve growth factor within the brain. 

A 2014 study comments on its effectiveness as an anti-depressant herb and on its ability to abolish anhedonia, aka our utter lack of motivation to get anything done.It’s also one of the few herbal remedies that most people notice almost instantly, providing a nice mood lift and a smooth supply of energy.

Summed Up

We in this community are well aware of the enormous potential just waiting to be tapped into by every man, if he could just learn to retain his seed. This is the beginning of reclaiming our manhood, and these herbs help build even more of that deep, sexual energy.


Recommended reading –

The Tao of Health, Sex and Longevity by Daniel P. Reid

The Ancient Wisdom of the Chinese Tonic Herbs by Ron Teeguarden

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The Mind – The Alpha and the Omega

What got you into semen retention?

What is your end goal here? It might look different for everyone, but one thing is for certain – we do it for self improvement.

We abstain and we retain, so that we one day may gain, blessed be thy retention.

Most likely you realized that all the porn, masturbation, maybe even all the sex wasn’t really that fulfilling. In fact, it may have been noticeably contributing to your depression. So you picked up semen retention and lo and behold, it was just what you were looking for. A boost in energy, charisma, confidence and more. But we don’t stop there. We want to transmute this energy we build up. Cold showers, working out, projects, breathing exercises, meditation. Time to dig deep into your most valuable asset to the semen retention game, and also your biggest enemy – the mind.

It is my belief that our key to success in this world is the mind – it is the Alpha and the Omega, it is the beginning and the end. Every single thing in this world, be it internal, such as thoughts, feelings, memories, desires and fears; or external, like your friends, your family, your enemies, the environment – you interact with EVERYTHING through the mind. And everything in turn affects the quality of your mind, your energy levels, your emotional state.

Why, then, are we not spending as much time as possible to strengthen and cultivate our minds?

We think we have control over our minds, but we don’t, not fully at least. Try to sit calmly for just ten minutes, no phone, no distractions.. It’s maddening. Why? Your mind is weak, my friend.

Someone says something that you don’t like and suddenly your world plummets into darkness, rage, despair.. Or the converse happens. Something good happens and suddenly you’re elated and thrilled. This is a poorly developed mind, this is a mind that is at the mercy of the external world. A weak mind.

How about the internal world? When something upsets you, are you able to transform that anger into compassion, or to at least to neutralize it? Are you able to enjoy something pleasant, be it a relationship or even simply the high of an orgasm, and not be attached to it, knowing that it won’t last forever? No? Your weak mind is to blame.

We think we’re in control of our minds, but as anyone who has ever meditated will quickly tell you, those thoughts just keep on coming, and distraction abounds within your own mind, even when you ask it kindly focus on just the object of your meditation.

Your mind is weak, my friend. It’s time you start strengthening it.

You have some goal in mind, something you want to accomplish, but you’re afraid. Guess what? Emotions are part of the mind, and if your mind is weak, you’re at the mercy of your emotions.

You have some goal in mind, something you want to accomplish, but it will take a lot of work, an overwhelming amount of work. Guess what? Motivation comes from within, from the mind.

You have some goal in mind, something you want to accomplish, but you don’t know how, you don’t know where to start. Guess what? A powerful mind is able to sit with and chew on problems until they begin to break down, and the mind eventually wins.

The mind is the Alpha and the Omega. It all starts and it all ends in the mind. It’s the most powerful tool you have and yet, it can be your worst enemy, if you don’t train it.

The Body/Breath/Mind Connection

If the mind is so goddamn important, why didn’t I start all these posts with it? Well, quite simply, while it is the most important facet here, it’s also, for most people, the most difficult to train. That’s why we start with the body and the breath. If I tell you to raise your right hand, you can do that easily. You can change your breathing patterns easily as well. If I tell you to not think of a green dragon, well, you just failed. If I tell you to sit and focus on the sensations of the breath to the exclusion of all other thoughts, you’ll fail. If you’re pissed off and I tell you to just be happy, good luck.

Here is a little secret – the body and the mind are not separate, the mind is just a more subtle aspect of the body. I actually prefer to think of the body as a more gross, physical extension of the mind. But the point is, they are different aspects of the same thing and they influence each other.

When an emotion such as anger affects your mind, what happens to the body? You clench up, blood pressure raises, you get hot and bothered, your face may even get red. The reverse is true as well – you can change your mental state and emotions via changing your posture.

A bit more subtle than the effects of emotions on the body is their effect on the breath. If you’re afraid, your respiration increases. If you’re relaxed, it is slow and deep. Wim Hof style breathing amps you up – box breathing calms you down.

The breath is the bridge between the conscious and the unconscious mind – you breathe roughly 20,000 times a day without consciously trying to, but it is always there for you to consciously take control over. Through the breath, we can access deeper layers of the mind. This is part of why pranayama is such a crucial tool for us.

This is also why in yoga they start with the physical postures, then the breathing exercises, and then finally they move on to meditation. The goal of yoga is just to master the mind. We start with the most easily controlled aspect of this triune, the body. Then the breath. Then the mind.

So yes, the physical postures and breathing exercises of yoga or of Qi Gong help to cultivate our sexual energy, our Jing, but they also help us start to control our mind. That’s what we all really want, right? All of your success in life comes from having this powerful mind that helps you to accomplish your goals, and if you train your mind well, you’ll have access to positive emotions all along the way. This is the natural next step of semen retention.

Facets of Mind Training

When we start mind training, we want to focus on two areas in particular –

  1. Concentrative power
  2. Taming and transforming emotions

We want a mind that is pliable, strong, and most importantly under our control. We want it to do what we say when we say it, and we want it to be strong and not easily swayed by our emotions. This is where concentration meditation come in.

How is David Goggins able to put himself through tortuous 100+ mile runs, again and again and again? How was Einstein able to sit with a particular problem and just mull it over for days, weeks, years on end, until the universe relented and gave up its secrets? They built up strong minds, minds that had great endurance, did what they wanted them to do, and weren’t easily distracted.

Along with developing a strong mind, a mind that is obedient, we want to reel in our emotions, our cravings, our urges. We don’t want them to overpower us, and we want less of the negative emotions, more of the positive ones.

By starting our retention journey, we’ve already begun to shift the dynamic towards more positive emotions and experiences, and less negative ones. Now we’re going to add on to that and speed up that process.

And remember, because you’ve built up this energy and you’re starting to increase the power and magnetism of your aura, your emotional state is constantly being projected, and loudly. Make sure it’s a state of positivity.

Concentration

The goal here is to build a powerful mind that does what you want it to, when you want it to. One of the best ways to do this is through concentration meditation practices.

In concentration meditation we narrow the field of awareness down to a very limited area, usually with the goal to exclude other thoughts and sensations. It makes no difference what we pay attention to – a candle flame, a cross, a mantra repeated mentally, a visualization, a sensation of the breath or within the body – it can literally be anything.

We focus on that one thing, say the sensation of the breath at the tip of the nose. Then a thought or sensation pops up – the goal is to recognize this and bring the mind back to the sensation of the breath. Then a thought pops up again, but this one was juicier, and it takes us off into a daydream. Eventually we realize this and bring the mind back to the sensations of the breath at the tip of the nose. We bring the mind back again, and again, and again.

A lot of people think they can’t meditate because they keep getting distracted, thoughts just keep popping up. Well, that’s half the point. You thought you were in control of the mind, but those damn thoughts just keep coming at ya. As long as you bring your awareness back to the object of meditation, over and over again, you are succeeding in meditation!

Each time you notice that your concentration has lapsed and you bring it back to the object of meditation, that’s like a rep. Each millisecond you stay with the object, boom, that’s a ton more reps. This is how you make the mind strong, give it the ability to focus on what you want for as long as you want it to.

Another thing that this meditation does it creates calmness. This calmness is a respite from the constant planning, thinking, daydreaming, worrying, craving modalities of the mind. If you stick with this process, you’ll not only create a very strong and obedient mind, but you’ll generate contentedness within. This is why in Buddhist traditions it is called śamatha meditation – it means “calm-abiding”.

Emotions and the Nature of the Mind

When we begin learning about how to tame our emotional mind, it helps to understand a little bit of how our minds work in the first place. We’re going to focus on two aspects of the mind, that of unsatisfactoriness, as well as craving/attachment and aversion. We also need to realize a fundamental truth about all mental phenomena, be it emotions, thoughts, images, feelings, bodily sensations, any and everything – they are impermanent.

Later in the series we will discover how to straight up transform our emotions, turning things like lust for women into fuel for our own personal evolution.

Unsatisfactoriness

The mind is naturally inclined to seek out pleasant emotions and sensations, and run from negative ones. This is the basis of what drives human behavior. But why does the mind do this? Why does just sitting still cause us such torment and misery? It’s the most natural thing possible, to just be… Yet it’s excruciating for us. Why is this?

The untrained mind is always unsatisfied. Why do we turn to porn and masturbation every time we’re bored or need a hit of dopamine? Evolutionarily speaking, this is good news – if we were content from the get-go, we never would have made it past just another species of great ape. Taking this to the extreme, if we never felt displeasure and were always perfectly content, there’d be no drive to reproduce, even to forage for food. Our discontent with the present and drive to have things be even better are what allowed us to progress so much as a species.

Problem is, now we can’t turn it off. Discontent has become our default mode. The goal in all spiritual sciences is to learn how to flip the switch, so that no matter our external circumstances, on the inside, it’s alllll good, baby. This doesn’t mean we get so high on our own supply that we give up on life, but that we’ve trained the mind to be content with what it has.

It is not the man who has too little, but the man that craves more, who is poor. – Seneca

Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants. – Epictetus

Take a page out of Stoics’ books and start developing contentedness. Sublimate that sexual energy up to the mind and develop concentrative calm-abiding.

Impermanence

All mental phenomena is, by its very nature, fleeting and intangible. Purely mental aspects, such as thought, memory, visualizations, these all arise in the mind for a brief time and then fade away.

Emotional phenomena are the same – how many cycles of emotions do you go through in a day? Frustration while stuck in traffic, joy while playing with your dog, anger, sadness, lust – these all arise from a given circumstance, abide for a bit and then fade away.

Even physical sensations are the same – you may have chronic back pain but if you really pay attention, you’ll notice certain times when it isn’t present, until you move at least. The high of an orgasm, we know that one is over real quick.

The point is, every single aspect as perceived by your awareness is impermanent – it arises due to certain conditions, abides for a short time, and fades away. If you get your mind very strong from concentration practices, you’ll notice that even very persistent sensations flicker in and out of existence. But we don’t need that strong of minds to realize that the good feelings, these are fleeting. The bad feelings as well.

Craving/Attachment and Aversion

Now because we haven’t cultivated contentedness, because we start out with a mind that is never satisfied, our mind has these two modes of being – craving/attachment and aversion.

We naturally crave “good” experiences, be it good thoughts, good emotions, good bodily sensations, whatever. When these arise, we naturally become attached to them. We get a girlfriend and she makes us sooooo happy – until she dumps us. Because we were attached to her, or more specifically the good feelings she gave us, we suffer because we no longer get those feelings.

We also naturally have aversion towards “bad” experiences, be it emotions, thoughts, bodily sensations, whatever. We’re on the way to work and encounter traffic – it might not even make us late but it’s frustrating. Or we ask a girl out and she says no – we experience a sense of suffering because it wasn’t what we wanted.

Contrast this with a mind that knows everything is temporary. Your mind will still enjoy your relationship with that girl, but if she decides to end it, it isn’t so bad anymore. You knew the relationship would end one day, today is that day. You might still be bummed but it isn’t a crushing loss.

And why do we go out and seek whatever is pleasurable, and run from what isn’t pleasant? Because we’re starting out from a mind that is untrained and, by default, discontent.Freedom from the Cycle

How do we break free from this cycle of discontent -> craving/attachment -> aversion?

First off, we learn to still and focus the mind through concentration-type meditations. As the turbulent mind calms down, it finally experiences some peace. That peace builds and builds, and carries over into our daily life.

Next we keep in mind that all mental phenomena are impermanent. Experiencing something good right now? Great, enjoy it, but realize thoroughly that it won’t last – that will help lessen your attachment to it, so that when it does end, you don’t suffer so much.

When you encounter something displeasing, remember that it won’t last! Think of every bad event that has ever happened to you. 90% of them likely have zero effect on you right now, in this current instant. Whatever the nightmare, it ended, and here you are, still standing.

Think back to every Christmas you’ve ever had as a kid – how badly you wanted that Playstation 2, lego set, whatever. You wrote letters to an imaginary fat man, hoping you’d get it. Maybe you even prayed to your creator for it, thinking how happy it would make you. And then, the big day came.. and you got it! Your prayers were answered! And now it’s probably in the trash somewhere, or stored away in the attic. You slowly lost interest in every Christmas gift you’ve ever wanted because your mind constantly needs more, it’s never satisfied. Much easier to just build contentment from within.

Every girl you’ve ever crushed on and wanted so desperately to date, and then when you finally did, it eventually ended.. Now you’ve broken up, and she no longer is a source of happiness, she’s probably even a source of unhappiness. Or maybe you’re still together, maybe you’ve even managed to keep up a happy-ish relationship – but there are still occasional fights, she still occasionally annoys you, and you’d damn well be lying if you claimed you never thought of another girl, even if briefly. No matter how great the relationship, it is never 100% pure joy.

Remember this – happiness, pleasure, pain, sadness, they don’t exist “out there”, they exist within the mind. You run from girl to girl, experience to experience, drug to drug, toy to toy, job to job, video game to video game, and you can never quench the thirst of the mind, it never is satisfied. Celebs who “have it all”, the money, the women, the parties, the status – many are depressed, commit suicide, become addicted to drugs, because their minds are the same as ours.

The untrained mind is never satisfied. Whenever it gets what it wants, the joy it experiences peaks and then slowly, surely begins to fade. This is the nature of an untrained mind.

Putting it all into Practice

Calm-abiding meditation

In some traditions, concentration meditations are called “calm-abiding” meditation. This is because as the mind slowly calms down and distractions start dropping to the side, as it becomes one-pointed and starts generating energy, joy naturally arises.

Imagine the relief a kindergarten teacher feels when they finally get home after a long day of teaching. All those annoying brats no longer bugging them, they can just sit back and relax. That’s how the mind feels when it’s no longer bombarded by thoughts, cravings, fears, emotions, worrying about the future or dredging up the past.

The untrained mind is unsatisfied – but the trained mind.. Ahh, the trained mind is naturally satisfied.

The joy and calmness you build in meditation seeps over into daily life as well. So while you build a strong, powerful and obedient mind, you also make your aura that much more attractive, you’ve increased your Shen that much more, you’re that much more magnetic.

The instructions are very simple – pick something as your meditation object, set the intention to focus on just that object, and if the mind gets distracted, gently bring it back to said object. Repeat this formula again and again and again.

Your stretches of concentration on the object will slowly increase, and the day dreams will become less and less. You’ll start to wonder why just paying attention to your breath can create such pleasant feelings. You’ll also notice a sense of calm and contentedness in your day to day life if you keep up with this practice, as well as a mind that is focused and obedient.

Simple instructions for meditation on the breath can be found here.

Mindfulness of thoughts

This simply involves remaining detachedly aware of thoughts as they pop up into your head. You can be seated for this, eyes open, eyes closed, walking, hiking, whatever. Just be aware how a thought will arise on its own, stay for a short while, and then fade on its own. It may have a feeling attached to it, it might not. It might have an image or usually a vocalization along with it, though possibly not.

Your goal is to identify as the passive witness to all these thoughts/images/feelings as they arise. They are like clouds, coming about on their own, evolving and changing on their own, and fading away.

Try not to get attached to any thought without retaining a sense of being a detached observer.

Mindfulness of emotions

In your day to day life, notice how any given external event elicits a feeling and/or emotional response internally. Stub your toe, anger and pain arise. See pretty girl, lust arises. Pretty girl smiles at you, giddiness arises. You realize she was actually smiling at the guy behind you, giddiness fades and disappointment arises. So step one is being mindful and noticing how any given event elicits an emotion or feeling within you.

The second step is really paying attention to how that feeling or emotion feels. What’s its flavor? Does it have a color? Does it arise somewhere in the body specifically? You want to recognize this feeling and then take a big, deep dive into it and reeeallly get to know it. Label it, experience it fully, completely, let it saturate your whole mental bandwidth.

Finally, pay attention to how long it lasts. It might hit you like a ton of bricks, and then slowly fade away. It might start as just a tiny note, and then get louder and louder. It might come in waves, intense for a bit, fading away, becoming intense again. Most of the time, no matter the feeling or sensation, it sticks around for anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes and then starts fading away.

This is how we can take meditation off of the cushion and into the real world. We no longer confine meditation to just sitting at home in our dark room – if we maintain mindfulness, our whole day becomes a meditation.

I’ve found it helpful to reframe emotions as just flavors of energy that come into my field of consciousness, stick around for a quick sec, and then start fading away. They’re impermanent and only hold as much weight as you give them.Acceptations vs Expectations,

One last bit – it is much easier to go through life accepting reality as it is, rather than to have expectations of reality. The world doesn’t owe you anything. More importantly, people don’t owe you a damn thing either.

If you set your expectations high, you’re bound to be let down most days. Just accept reality plainly, as it is. Your day went well? Great. Your day was shit? Well, that’s life.

You do all you can to improve your life, to improve yourself – that much is in your control. The weather, the news, current events, traffic, your boss being a dick, a girl not texting back – none of that is in your control, so don’t place your expectations on any of it.

Accept more, expect less.

Obviously, hold some expectations for people. If you’re in a relationship, you should expect that she is faithful. Obviously don’t just let her go out on dates with other men. You should expect to be respected by your boss, but first you’ve got to have earned that respect, and sometimes your boss may be a bit of a prick.

Finally, when negative feelings arise, don’t resist them. When a negative feeling arises, we tend to shirk from it, to try to escape it. This resistance makes it that much worse, because we can’t just make it go away, not yet at least.

Negative emotions and sensations are kind of like a Chinese finger trap – the more you try to pull away and resist, the stronger they latch on.

The next time you feel bummed, don’t try to run from it, dive deep into that feeling. Pull it in close and get to know it intimately. Analyze it and break it down as much as possible, noticing exactly where you feel it, how it feels, how long it lasts. You’ll notice that, by and large, it is just another sensation, just like hunger is a sensation, pain a sensation, heat a sensation.

We make things a thousand times worse when we resist whatever we are experiencing.

Suffering = Pain x Resistance – Shinzen Young

Pain is inevitable. Shit will happen. Suffering is largely optional.

Don’t chase after and become attached to what is “good” or pleasurable – it won’t last.

Don’t resist what is “bad” or uncomfortable – it won’t last.

Develop inner contentment – this is your secret. People will wonder why you’re so cool, calm, collected, content, and happy. That is true magnetism.