One of the biggest benefits we get from semen retention is the huge increase in dopamine that occurs when we refrain from orgasm. Dopamine is the molecule that not only gives us the energy, confidence and motivation to get things done, but it’s also the molecule of reward, making us feel good when we accomplish our tasks and goals.
Of course, it’s also responsible for the good feelings we get from food, drugs, sex, gaming, social media – pretty much anything pleasurable.
Unfortunately, the modern world is filled to the brim with cheap thrills, quick fixes and shiny distractions that constantly drain us of our motivation/reward molecule, and I don’t mean just porn – social media, gaming, binge watching Netflix, even text and email alerts all take us out of the present moment, sapping attention and depleting dopamine.
This leaves us crippled, crabby, maybe even downright useless without our normal crutches.
In other words – we have become so hooked on chemical highs and technological distractions that bare reality has become unbearable. If we take a month or two to get rid of these chemicals and technological distractions (or at least greatly reduce them), then we will, with no further effort, become happier and more interested in the world around us.
Perhaps more importantly, we will find ourselves with both the energy and the motivation to go out there and chase after the things we really want – our dreams, our goals, our mission.
This post is about combating the modern world and all its cheap pitfalls in order to further enhance the benefits we get from abstaining from PMO, first by cutting out those addictive dopamine depletors; by learning to leverage “the suck” to further enhance the dopaminergic pathways and reward centers in the brain; and using targeted supplements to improve the functioning of dopamine within the brain. It’s similar to a “dopamine detox”, but geared towards retainers with some specific exercises and additional goodies.
Further, unlike most of my posts, there’s very little to do with transmuting sexual energy, yoga, and the esoteric. Just plain, hard science on enhancing dopamine – although this concept is essentially the same as tapas, or spiritual austerity.
This article is written with New Year in mind, and framed within a one month context. Try out what is suggested for the month of January, or any month for that matter, but realize that these are practices you should learn to adopt in your daily life, not just one month out of the year.
And let me be very transparent – I am writing this and engaging in this experiment as a kick in my own pants. I’ve gotten a little soft around the edges the last couple of months in some ways – time to get back to the grindstone.
“Resistance is the grindstone of our soul.” – Aubrey Marcus
“Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.” – Warren Buffett
Article at a glance :
- Dopamine is the neurochemical currency of drive, motivation and reward. One of the biggest benefits of semen retention is how it quickly and robustly increases dopamine levels – this article is all about further optimizing our lifestyle to maximize dopaminergic function.
- We are addicted to chasing empty stimulation (porn, junk food, social media, gaming, binge watching shows, texts/emails, drugs), and this addiction to distraction and empty stimulation prevents us from doing and enjoying those things we know we need to be doing.
- If we give up these meaningless distractions, we allow our brains, specifically our dopamine receptors, time to recuperate and resensitize, making our normal, daily life more enjoyable. We will also reclaim the motivation to accomplish all of our goals, big and small, that we have allowed these devilish distractions to take from us.
- Taking this one step further, if we actively “embrace the suck”, we can speed up this process of healing and boost levels of feel good neurotransmitters (Part 1 ends here)
- Meditation is the polar opposite of constant stimulation seeking – engaging in focused meditation practice retrains the mind to focus attention and calm down, instead of scattering attention in an agitated manner.
- We can use targeted supplementation to increase dopamine levels, protect dopamine neurons, and even to regain neuronal sensitivity to dopamine.
- We can assess our progress not only by seeing how much more enjoyment we get out of the real world, but by practicing “just being”.
Dopamine Zombies
The way we achieve things in this life is largely due to dopamine, a neurotransmitter involved in both motivation (the pursuit of our goals and interests), and the feelings of reward after we get or accomplish what we were after. One of the reasons semen retention is so powerful is because of how it’s able to increase dopamine levels so robustly – recall that orgasm leads to a rise in prolactin, which subsequently plummets dopamine levels for up to two weeks afterwards. No orgasm means little prolactin, which means more dopamine, leading to you having the energy, drive and confidence to chase after your goals and accomplish them.
The problem with today’s world is that everything, not just porn, has been designed to hijack the reward pathways in our brains – from food, to video games, to social media, to tv and movies, even to our phones, and nevermind drugs themselves.
Think back to when we were a tribal species. We evolved to get rewarded by “dopamine hits” from finding food, hunting prey, sleeping with actual mates, socializing with real friends and family in person, hearing stories and myths told by elders of the tribe (or by telling them), building and maintaining a living space, dancing and communing around the fire… In other words, we had to work for these rewards, and these rewards were useful and beneficial, ensuring we would do the things we needed to survive and form social bonds. And when we were hunter gatherers, there were essentially zero drugs.
Nowadays? We flip open our phone and have instant access to porn, distracting games, and endless scrolling on social media – which is designed to be addictive. Even texting “creates a dopamine loop” in the brain. We have access to drugs and booze that cause an immediate release of pleasure far beyond anything else in the natural world. We eat food and drink beverages that companies have spent millions of dollars designing to be as rewarding and addicting as possible.
Just take a look at this chart which shows the massive release of dopamine from some drugs –
“In today’s dopamine-rich ecosystem, we’ve all become primed for immediate gratification. We want to buy something, and the next day it shows up on our doorstep. We want to know something, and the next second the answer appears on our screen. Are we losing the knack of puzzling things out, or being frustrated while we search for the answer, or having to wait for the things we want? The neuroscientist Samuel McClure and his colleagues examined what parts of the brain are involved in choosing immediate versus delayed rewards. They found that when participants chose immediate rewards, emotion- and reward-processing parts of the brain lit up. When participants delayed their reward, the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain involved in planning and abstract thinking—became active.
The implication here is that we are all now vulnerable to prefrontal cortical atrophy as our reward pathway has become the dominant driver of our lives.” Dr. Anna Lembke, Dopamine Nation
And that’s real bad news, because it means we are no longer in control of our behavior. We’re no longer using our prefrontal cortex, that part of the brain so highly developed in humans that allows us to think and plan, but are slaves to our hijacked reward pathways, switching from one source of empty stimulation to the next, not getting anything worthwhile done, not chasing after our dreams or accomplishing our goals.
We’ve become dopamine zombies, slaves to our technology and chemical crutches.
How do we overcome this issue? By getting rid of our addictive substances and timewasters, and actively engaging in the beneficial but less stimulating things we know we should be doing.
“Remember and remind yourself of a phrase favored by Epictetus: ‘persist and resist.’ Persist in your efforts. Resist giving in to distraction, discouragement, or disorder.” – Ryan Holiday
Get rid of Distraction, Lean into Discomfort and Do the Hard Thing (Weaning and Leaning)
The way we get from lazy and comfortable to action-oriented and badass? We need to wean ourselves off of our comfortable, dopaminergic distractions, and lean into those things that are tough that we know we need to be doing. It’s a simple concept, but it can be difficult to really put into place effectively.
I don’t need to tell you what your time wasters are, I’m sure you know them well. Time to start weaning yourself off of them. The most effective method is to just cut them out entirely – no scrolling on any social media apps, no Youtube, no Netflix or gaming. No distracting yourself at all – I want you to be raw-dogging reality. It’s a shock to the system, but it’s effective and there’s no wiggle room to cheat.
If you can’t imagine giving everything up, at least cut out the biggest ones, and save the smaller ones for an hour in the evening the first week, 45 minutes the second week, 30 minutes the 3rd week, cut out completely the last week.
As for drugs? Many in this community don’t use any at all, including caffeine. For those that do, try to cut them out entirely for this month – no booze, no nicotine, no adderall, no pills, no kratom, none of that. I’ll make an exception for caffeine as it’s pretty mild and actually helps to increase dopamine receptor expression, but don’t be pounding energy drinks every two hours.
If your only chemical vice is a bit of coffee each day, cut back on the amount the first couple weeks and then abstain completely the second half of the month, or the last week.
If this is too painful for you, well… Toughen the hell up, buttercup. You want to become a semen retention badass but can’t wait till the evening to engage in your time wasters? Dig deep, get in touch with your manly side, and make it happen!
After you’ve cut your dopamine depletors out or reduced them and moved them to the evening, you’ll have some free time on your hands. Now comes the leaning into part of the practice. What is it you know you should be doing, but that brings up some internal resistance to doing it? Whatever that is, do that thing right now!
That feeling of resistance should be your cue that whatever is causing said feeling is your new mission. “The Obstacle is the Way”, as Ryan Holiday titled his book on stoicism. That feeling of resistance is your call to arms, the rallying cry to go make things happen. Anyone who does cold showers knows this feeling well. Anyone who has tried to talk to that cute gal over there knows this feeling well. Shit, anyone who has tried to clean their room is familiar with this feeling.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it? The second you feel that feeling, go do that thing without even thinking about it. You don’t have your time wasters to distract you, so what else is there to do?
Just take a second and imagine how different your life would be if, starting today, you didn’t shirk from the essential-but-uncomfortable, but instead attacked head on. Think of how much you could get done today… Think about how much you could get done in a month… Now, imagine if you have been doing things this way for years!
Yeah, it’s safe to say your life would be very different and undoubtedly much better. You’d scoff at the notion of constantly suckling on the teet of whatever your vices currently are.
Make a list each night before bed of the top 3-5 things you need to get done the next day. Don’t wait until the morning to make the list, have that bad boy ready to go. Then, each time you accomplish a task, cross it off the list. Making the physical list and crossing it off is key to this process. Each time you complete a goal and cross it off the list, guess what? Instant dopamine release – you feel a sense of accomplishment at completing the task (plus some relief thrown in for good measure), and that dopamine release gives you energy and motivation to accomplish the next task.
It’s a vicious cycle of productive badassery.
Now, you can approach your productive mornings in two different ways. One way is “worst first” – you start your day doing the thing that is gonna be the biggest pain in your ass. With that out of the way, the rest of your manly duties seem much easier. If you’re one of those “fire in the belly” guys, this method may be for you.
I am many things, but a hard-charging, Type A personality I am not. I prefer to start with the smaller things and move up the ladder. The disadvantage here is things become progressively more difficult as I cross off my to-dos, but the upside is I get some small, easy wins which help me build momentum to tackle The Big Baddies. However, both energy and will-power are finite resources, so you have to be strategic about this method. Don’t drain yourself accomplishing 6 smaller tasks and then have no energy to do that 1 big thing you really needed to get done that day – I’ve done that more than I care to admit.
No matter which method you choose, and neither is better than the other, you are now setting yourself up for success in life by training your brain to get dopamine from accomplishing goals, instead of from mindless time wasters or using substances.
Now, it must be noted that in the beginning, the dopamine released from accomplishing small tasks or goals won’t be nearly as big as that released from things like gaming, social media, nicotine, booze, marijuana, etc, etc. If it were, pretty much everyone would easily accomplish their goals off the bat. Hang in there, it will get better.
And it should be noted that the more you allow yourself to spend time on these other highly addictive time wasters, well… The less enjoyment you’ll get out of doing the things you know you need to be doing.
At the risk of repeating myself too often, moving your time wasters to the end of the day and limiting the amount spent on them is a great beginning strategy, but if you really want to get the most out of this month, you should cut them out completely. If you don’t think you can give them up completely from the get-go, start by saving the time wasters for an hour in the evening the first week, a half hour in the second, and then give them up entirely the last two weeks.
This will give your brain time to literally rewire itself – in the wake of blasting your dopamine receptors 24/7 from highly stimulating bullshit, they will re-sensitize enough so that you actually come to enjoy not just adulting, but all the other badass stuff you really want and need to be doing.
And once you reach that point, this won’t be a struggle, it’ll be your new way of life.
“Every conquering temptation represents a new fund of moral energy. Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before.” WB Yeats
Pressing on the Pain Side
What if I told you I regularly engaged in a grueling practice that was difficult, increased bodily inflammation, caused oxidative stress, left me sore for days, increased blood pressure and heart rate during the activity, increased metabolic waste products, was toxic to muscle cells and even caused tears in my muscles themselves?
Other times I deprive my body of nutrients and fuel for extended periods. Sometimes I force myself to endure bouts of extreme heat, while other times I suffer through periods of immersing myself in intensely cold water.
What if I told you that all of the above practices, while harmful in the short term, actually not only improve my health over time, but also raise my hedonic set point, meaning I’m happier at baseline?
As I’m sure you’ve figured out, I was talking about exercise, fasting, deliberate hyperthermia and cold exposure. These are practices that cause acute stress that leads to an increase in overall robustness, which is great for physical health. Something that is often overlooked is that these things are also powerful means to improve your mood, motivation, and energy levels.
Your hedonic setpoint is essentially your base level of happiness. Some people just seem to be constantly happy, and the rest of us can’t stand those people. Other people are perpetual curmudgeons, the pessimistic Scrooges of the world. The happier you are, the higher your hedonic setpoint, meaning you walk around feeling pretty good the majority of the time. The grumpier you are, the lower your setpoint – you gotta get lots of things going right for you to start feeling good about your life.
Your hedonic setpoint is somewhat malleable – take addiction for example. You take your Average Joe with a normal life who derives pleasure from a multitude of different things – socializing, his dog, his hobbies, and if he’s lucky, maybe even his job. Then you get him hooked on drugs, let’s say cocaine. Cocaine releases so much dopamine that Average Joe gets high as a kite, and so he buys more the next weekend, and more the next weekend.
After a while the only thing bringing him any pleasure is cocaine, and a bit further down the road, even cocaine won’t bring Average Joe any pleasure but will only delay the withdrawals. Compared to the massive surge of dopamine released from cocaine, everything else seems boring in comparison.
Ol Joey has succeeded in making his hedonic setpoint so very low that it doesn’t matter what he does – he can’t experience pleasure. The good news is that after enough sobriety, he can raise his setpoint back up to something close to what it was before his addiction.
We may not be cocaine addicts, but we are addicted to all these other little dopamine wasters – social media, gaming, binging on Netflix, eating takeout chinese food, etc. And the cumulative effect of all these smaller things is very similar to if we’d become addicted to a drug – we become less happy at baseline and are constantly bouncing from one source of empty stimulation to the next, never feeling happy on our own, never satisfied, and rarely doing anything worthwhile.
Now, and this is key, the reverse of this is also true. Put yourself through deliberate exposure to discomfort, and you’ll begin to raise your hedonic setpoint, meaning you get more and more pleasure out of your day to day life.
Imagine you found yourself bedridden in a hospital for a month, and for the sake of argument, let’s just pretend the food was bland and you had no access to friends, family, phones, tvs, games, even books. Just you, your mind, those fluorescent lights and that eggshell-white wall over there.
Sounds awful, right?
Now imagine how great it would be once you made it out of that hospital, back into your normal life. The same old food you used to eat would taste amazing, you’d be stoked to interact with your friends again, and of course, it’d be great getting back to your hobbies and toys.
The good news is that we don’t have to be bedridden in a dystopian hospital in order to make our normal life more enjoyable – we just have to cut out the sources of empty stimulation and, simultaneously, actively and systematically embrace what is uncomfortable.
In other words, we have to embrace the suck.
I know, I just told you to give up on your comforting-but-draining timewasters, and now I’m telling you to make things worse by actively seeking out the uncomfortable… But just stick with me here.
Exercise increases all of our feel-good neurotransmitters, including dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin, as well as endocannabinoids and endorphins; cold immersion causes a huge and long-lasting rise in dopamine and norepinephrine, giving us energy and motivation; sauna use releases dynorphin, a chemical that makes us feel acute discomfort but actually resensitizes the brain to its own endorphins; and fasting increases dopamine, as well as serotonin and norepinephrine.
By pressing hard on the side of pain and discomfort, we are rewarded with an immediate rebound of pleasure. When we give up our addictions and plow headfirst into accomplishing our everyday tasks, we don’t get quite the same immediate reward, but the two combined over time allows us to raise our hedonic setpoint.
That means you will be happier each and every day, whether things are going your way or not.
So if you give up your junk timewasters, it might hurt today. It might be boring tomorrow. It may feel like a sludge through the doldrums for the next week or two. But by golly, stick with it, because in 2 weeks, you’ll start enjoying the little things in life again, and in 4-8 weeks, you’ll find yourself feeling happy for no damn reason most days. And this process will be sped up if you’re able to actively push on the pain side with these more concentrated practices, specifically exercise, fasting, and cold/heat exposure.
Giving up on our cheap, empty addictions is the road to recovery; actively embracing the uncomfortable makes that road a whole lot easier and shorter.