What Is Failure?
What constitutes failure on the path of Semen Retention? This will vary from person to person a bit – some will consider failure to be only if they ejaculate. Others are a bit more strict – they consider failure to be even having a sexual thought about any woman they see. Others are more liberal, following something more in line with what the Taoists taught – that occasional emissions are allowed and perhaps even beneficial every once in a while according to your age and health.
For the sake of this article, failure will mean any loss of semen. Here are some common causes of failure on the path, and how to go about avoiding them.
Insufficient Transmuting
Plain and simple, if you’re not transmuting the sexual energy you’re building up, it’s gonna find a way to be released, and that usually occurs right out your dick, whether that be a session on PornHub or a wet dream. This sexual energy also finds an outlet by causing you to have sexual thoughts, lust after hot “babes” you come across in daily life, and by having daydreams and fantasies about sex and women in general. Having sexual thoughts is much less of a waste than ejaculation, but for many it is still a slow leak.
Transmute that sexual energy! You can do this any number of ways – weight training, running, journaling, meditating, cold showers, prayer, yoga, breathing exercises, Qi Gong, reading uplifting texts, focusing on self-development, diving deep into your career, hobbies and passions – there are countless ways to transmute this energy. Make sure you’re doing at least a few of these things DAILY.
I’m personally a fan of yoga/Qi Gong techniques that have been specifically designed to transmute sexual energy. Journaling, meditating, cold showers and exercise are absolutely amazing practices to have, not just on the path of retention but also in daily life, and they are useful for transmuting sexual energy, but they do so indirectly.
Practices like spinal breathing, testicle breathing, the Microcosmic orbit meditation, vajroli mudra (kegels) and so on directly transmute sexual energy up and out of the crotch, allowing it to be used by both the body and mind for more beneficial activities.
And if your problem is wet dreams, for god sakes do your kegels! This is probably the easiest way to prevent wet dreams, by tightening up those PC muscles. I wrote a whole post on wet dreams on my website for those interested. Part 2 – Cultivation and Sublimation Basics and Part 3 – Strengthening Your Magnetism and Aura go into detail on how to begin sublimating sexual energy via yogic techniques.
Poor Libido Management
In the beginning, many guys will succumb to the libido’s temptations before understanding how to sublimate it into a force to accomplish their goals. Let’s take some time to learn how to tone down that ravenous, sexually glutinous beast within.
Increase serotonin levels. Ever heard of people going on antidepressants, particularly SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), and complaining of having no libido? I am absolutely not recommending that you go get a script written for SSRIs, but there are easy ways to naturally increase serotonin. Try out the supplements l-tryptophan or 5-HTP – both are precursors to serotonin. Reddit even has quite a few posts from guys taking 5-HTP and complaining of loss of libido.
It’s important to make sure that these supplements are safe to take with any prescription meds you may be on, particularly any MAOIs or other antidepressants, as too much serotonin is a big no-no, as in a potential visit to the ER no-no. Same goes for certain illicit substances, especially MDMA/molly/ecstacy. Just google any drug you’re taking, prescription or otherwise, along with “serotonin syndrome” to double check that there aren’t any negative interactions.
If you aren’t on prescription drugs, aren’t taking illicit substances and are otherwise generally healthy, consider giving it a shot. Increased serotonin may also boost your mood, reduce hunger/carb cravings, improve sleep (and dreams) and provide a feeling of overall contentment. Tryptophan can be taken 2-3 times daily, before meals, with no need to cycle. Take 5-HTP as directed on the bottle, but this one should be cycled – I wouldn’t go more than a month or two before taking an equal amount of time off.
Both should be considered crutches, only to be used in the beginning or in a pinch until you’ve got your libido under control.
Modify your diet. Ayurvedic texts state that garlic, onions, black pepper, chili peppers or any foods from the allium family boost libido, as do most spicy foods. I’ve never made a conscious effort to remove these foods from my diet but it seems to be the consensus out of both Ayurveda and Traditional Chinese Medicine, both of which I have deep respect for, so it’s worth considering.
Consider cutting back on meat consumption – I went strict vegetarian for a month and a half once just to try it out and it drastically reduced my libido. Your results may vary, but most spiritual traditions agree that meat consumption raises libido. Makes sense – meat’s chock full of zinc, a mineral that’s essential for testosterone production.
Eat more soy products. A study titled Hypogonadism and erectile dysfunction associated with soy product consumption concluded “This case indicates that soy product consumption is related to hypogonadism and erectile dysfunction.” Granted this was a case study on just one 19 year old individual, but it showed that overconsumption of soy produced hypogonadism – essentially under production of androgens from the testicles. It also showed that hormone levels returned to normal after a year of going off a vegan diet. And this was in a 19 year old – testosterone levels at this age should be through the roof.
Another study on soy consumption showed that over consumption of soy caused “estrone and estradiol concentrations to be 4-fold increased above the upper limit of the reference range.” Again, this is a case study, so it’s only one individual. But soybeans, and therefore the products made from them, are well known to be chock full of phytoestrogens, plant compounds that act like estrogen in the human body.
For those not looking to reduce libido, small to moderate amounts of soy consumption is probably fine. I personally avoid it as we live in a world FILLED TO THE BRIM with xenoestrogens, chemicals found in nature as well as synthetic ones that act like estrogen in the body. But if you’re struggling with a rampaging libido, try eating more soy for a while, and then drop it down the road once your libido has calmed down.
Try fasting. As a libido reducer, fasting works amazingly well. Only problem is, we all love food and can’t be fasting all of the time, right? However, simple caloric restriction and intermittent fasting can be used instead of straight up fasting.
This study concluded “Ramadan intermittent fasting might be associated with a decrease in sexual desire, frequency of sexual intercourse and serum FSH level.”
Another short study concludes, “These results imply that: short-term fasting exerts inhibitory influence on Leydig cell function via a mechanism which might involve a reduced hypothalamic and/or pituitary stimulation.” Leydig cells are responsible for the production of most of the testosterone in a man’s body. Reduced Leydig functioning -> reduced testosterone production -> reduced libido.
When are you most likely to masturbate? Right before bed? First thing in the morning? Pick up intermittent fasting and make it so that whenever you’re most likely to be choking the chicken, you’ve already been fasting for a few hours at least. Try a 24 hour fast once a week – eat a big breakfast and lunch, skip dinner, and don’t eat again till lunch the next day.
Fasting is also a great way to build mental toughness and grit.
Now this is not to say that regular intermittent fasting or occasional 24-48 hour fasts are going to demolish anyones libido or testosterone levels. For most people these kinds of habits will only help to improve hormone levels and libido in the long term, but fasting or even caloric restriction can absolutely serve as a targeted approach to libido reduction, and can be used as another powerful tool in your toolbox.
Take Sattvic/Shen-boosting Herbs
Along with increasing serotonin levels, we can look to certain herbs from Ayurveda and Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). Within Ayurveda, there are certain herbs known to increase the quality of sattva within a person – that quality within that is good, honest, peaceful, calm, noble and drawn to the spiritual side of life. This is in stark contrast to the other two “modes of existence”, rajas (passion and activity) and tamas (destruction, chaos, darkness). Most of us are perpetually stuck alternating between periods of rajas and tamas, of thoughtless activity and dull lethargy, rarely tapping into our sattvic side.
What is PMO but an over-abundance of passion and chaos and an utter lack of a calm, peaceful mindstate?
TCM’s Shen–boosting herbs largely do the same thing.
Holy basil, also known as tulsi, is considered the most sattvic of all herbs within Ayurveda, with gotu kola and bacopa monnieri close behind. While I couldn’t find any studies showing a reduction in libido, any increase in sattvic qualities will be of huge help in the beginning of taking up the practice of retention. They’re of a huge help all of the time we’re on this path. I find tulsi to personally be the most sattvic, and it can be found in tea or concentrated extracts.
Within TCM, reishi mushroom is considered the king of all Shen-boosting substances. I couldn’t find any studies showing a decrease in libido, but it is a proven 5-alpha-reductase inhibitor – meaning it prevents the conversion of testosterone into its more powerful cousin, dihydrotestosterone, or DHT. Remember, anything that boosts Shen will help you to overcome desires and urges.
My favorite reishi products are this potent Dragon Herbs Purple Reishi Extract, or Nootropic Depot’s 8:1 Red Reishi.
Lion’s mane mushroom is another popular Shen tonic, and one which many folks claim kills their libido. It also has DHT-blocking properties. Just search Reddit for “lion’s mane + libido” for many case reports of lowered sex drive from this fungus. It’s also one of the best natural cognitive/memory enhancers out there. Search r/nootropics for more info. I recommend Nootropic Depot’s 8:1 Dual Extract Lion’s Mane.
The classic stress-reducing formula Bupleurum and Dragon Bone is one of the most commonly prescribed formulas within TCM to help manage and reduce addictions, and what is chronic PMO but a deleterious addiction? Bupleurum and Dragon Bone has a “stabilizing” effect on Shen, meaning it settles erratic emotions and urges, perfect for anyone struggling with riding the straight and narrow. It’s also the most commonly prescribed formula for wet dreams.
I prefer Jing Herbs Bupleurum and Dragon Bone powder or pills.
Anything that disrupts hormones is something I would only consider for a short-term solution, until you’re able to get your mind and libido under control. Reishi and lion’s mane mushrooms have so many benefits that it likely outweighs the slight drop in DHT, but it’d still be wise to cycle these guys. As for eating boatloads of soy… Drop that habit as soon as your libido is in check.
Poor Habit Management
One of the best books I read in 2020 was Atomic Habits by James Clear. I’m the type of person who can really drag their feet on doing certain things. I can be very motivated about things that interest me and that I’m passionate about, but things that I need to do but don’t necessarily want to do? Yeah, I tend to dilly dally and get to it when I get to it.
That’s why Atomic Habits was such a good read for me – it gave me strategies to deal with my lazy side. One of the most useful hacks I got out of it is the concept of making habits you want/need to accomplish attractive and visible, while making bad habits unattractive and invisible.
How does this apply to us on the Semen Retention path? This practice is mainly about one thing – not ejaculating. That’s a habit we’re trying to break, so we need to focus on making that habit unattractive and invisible.
The easiest way to do this is to get rid of all temptations in your life. Start by unfollowing risque accounts on Instagram, Snapchat, Tik Tok and Reddit. Delete these apps if need be. Download an app that locks you out of other websites/apps if you can’t control yourself – definitely do this with Porn Hub or similar sites.
Stop hanging out with jabronies who only talk about what girls they banged or want to bang. Don’t watch movies or tv that you know have overly sexualized images of women. So… I guess just throw out your tv and netflix subscription.
Got a buddy that’s into SR? Set up a system where if either one of you fails, you owe the other person five/ten/twenty bucks. Raise the stakes for your failures!
Don’t have an accountability buddy? If you fail you have to do 100 burpees/run 5 miles/something else extremely unattractive. Of course both using an accountability buddy and doling out self-discipline require honesty and integrity, but those come with the self-improvement territory, right?
Hang a calendar up somewhere visible and each day that you succeed in SR, put a big X or smiley face on it, then make sure, no matter what, you don’t break the chain of smilies! This was comedian Jerry Seinfeld’s method – he made sure that no matter what, he’d spend some time each day working on new material. Doesn’t matter if it sucked or not, as long as he worked on something, he’d put a big X on his visible calendar for that day and just made sure to never break a streak.
The same things apply in reverse for habits you’re trying to build – make them attractive and visible.
Trying to get in the habit of journaling? Leave your journal out wherever you normally drink your morning cup of coffee.
Trying to hit the gym more? Keep your gym bag in your car, with pre-workout, your whey and your shaker bottle all in there and ready to go.
Make the habits you’re trying to start attractive and visible. Make the habits you’re trying to break unattractive and invisible..
Grit Training
Plain and simple, you need to toughen up. Toughness is a skill, not an inborn trait, and toughness can be trained, so start training it.
If you guys aren’t familiar with David Goggins y’all have been missing out. Not only has he competed in and won many 100+ mile races, but he is the only member of the U.S. Armed Forces to complete SEAL training (including two Hell Weeks), the U.S. Army Ranger School (where he graduated as Enlisted Honor Man) and Air Force Tactical Air Controller training.
All this came from a shy, meek, overweight and self-proclaimed pussy. In high school he started forcing himself to wake up early before the bus and run. When he got to school he felt like a badass, knowing he’d already been up getting it.
You need to start doing the same thing. Actively put yourself through that which is uncomfortable but which you know is beneficial.
Start waking up an hour earlier each day, and use that extra hour productively.
Don’t workout? Start working out. Already workout? Take it to the next level or better yet, get out of your comfort zone and try something new like Brazilian jiu jitsu, rock climbing or mountain biking.
Eat a bowl of ice cream every night before bed? Smoke a bowl of grass before bed? Have a few beers each night while watching Netflix? Na man, cut that shit out, build some calluses on your mind.
Obviously this is something you should be applying to all aspects of your life, but you need to toughen up when it comes to your views on women and your constant need for self-pleasuring.
Not getting enough validation from women? What do you need validation from anyone for? Where does that get you? Earn that validation by toughening the hell up and turning into a badass, and then if/when you do get validation, laugh at yourself for ever having wanted it in the first place.
You really can’t go a couple days without pleasuring yourself? You need that five minutes of shameful masturbation every. Single. Day?
Really?
Time to start training your mind more. Time to embrace the suck. Time to trim the excess fat off your mind, and make it a lean, mean killing machine.
Here’s how it’s done. Be mindful of your internal state at all times. You should already be doing this anyway. Notice when an urge or desire pops up to do something that is enjoyable but detrimental, and resist that urge. Likewise, being mindful, be aware of when your mind experiences resistance to doing something unpleasant but beneficial, and do it immediately.
That’s it.
It’s simple and straightforward, but it ain’t that easy.
Now this doesn’t mean you only apply this practice to when you get the urge to beat your meat. That’s the whole name of the game of semen retention – saying no to that urge to jack off.
You do this mindfulness-based practice all day, every day. With everything.
You need to build momentum. You need to cut out the weeds from your mind. You need to trim the fat.
At first this will be difficult, maybe even painful. That’s ok. Are you someone who shirks the slightest discomforts needed to grow? Are you a weak little man-child that has to be spoon fed everything in life?
No! You’re aware of your shortcomings and you’re willing to put in the work needed to overcome them, to level up.
You may fail. You may fail repeatedly. Good. Embrace failure as a good thing – it means you’re trying. Learn from these failures and build back better and stronger.
Failure is almost always a necessary requisite on the path to success, never forget that. The only thing that matters is that you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and then make it further than you did last time.
Grit and toughness is not something you’re born with, it’s something you have to train to have. Start training.
“If you are irritated by every rub, how will you ever be polished?” – Rumi
“For a man to conquer himself is the first and noblest of all victories.” – Plato
“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go their graves with the song still in them.” Henry David Thoreau
“The obstacle is the way.” – Ryan Holiday
“Resistance is the grindstone of our soul.” – Aubrey Marcus
“No man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity, for he is not permitted to prove himself.” – Seneca
“Discipline is the precondition to freedom else you are just a slave to your impulses.” – u/RaphizFR
“Don’t expect to be motivated every day to get out there and make things happen. You won’t be. Don’t count on motivation. Count on Discipline.” – Jocko Willink
“Pain unlocks a secret doorway in the mind, one that leads to both peak performance, and beautiful silence.” – David Goggins
“Only you can master your mind, which is what it takes to live a bold life filled with accomplishments most people consider beyond their capability.” – DG
“You are in danger of living a life so comfortable and soft, that you will die without ever realizing your true potential.” – DG
“Don’t focus on what you think you deserve. Take aim at what you are willing to earn.” – DG
“You have to build calluses on your brain just like how you build calluses on your hands. Callus your mind through pain and suffering.” – DG
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