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100 Verses on Renunciation (Vairagya)

Here is Swami Vivekananda’s translation of Bhartrihari’s poem, Vairagya Shatakam, referred to in English as 100 Verses on Renunciation. I haven’t been able to find a complete version of his translation online, so this is only some of the verses and a bit out of order. It is still a fantastic and inspiring read!

Vairagya is a concept from yoga and other Indian schools of thought that means a type of dispassion for worldly concerns, name and fame, and sensory pleasures. In short, it is conscious and protracted renunciation, and the reason for cultivating it is simple – it’s hard to make progress on the spiritual path when you’re too preoccupied with chasing tail, gorging yourself on chicken vindaloo, imbibing wine and beer, and being too addicted to comfort and pleasure in general.

And to think, yogis of old thought ancient India had too many comfortable and pleasurable snares – what of us in the modern world??

Of course, not all of us are looking into the spiritual side of life, and that is all well and good, so let’s bring our focus back to semen retention. The concept of vairagya, of renunciation, still applies – in fact, renunciation is the name of the game, the whole kit and kaboodle! The whole essential point of semen retention is to renounce porn, masturbation, and orgasm. Many would say retention entails the renunciation of all forms of lust, even looking at that cute tart on Instagram or having lustful thoughts.

This is the true meaning of brahmacharya. Brahmacharya is typically translated as celibacy, but it goes beyond abstaining from mere sex and masturbation – it is the giving up of lusting after any and all objects or sources of pleasure. It is cultivating the conduct (charya) of God or the Higher Self (Brahman).

Don’t mistake what I’m saying here. It is perfectly fine to enjoy the good things that come to you in life! It is well and good to try to further yourself, to accomplish goals, and to live in basic, simple comfort. I’m not advocating constant penance and asceticism (though these are interesting avenues to explore), but simply learning to give up the lusting after things and experiences that you think will bring you ultimate happiness and contentment.

Brahmacharya means working to realize that everything you have to be happy and content for the rest of your life is already within you.

A Thought Experiment

Let me give you a little thought experiment to work with.

It can be said with much certainty that almost everyone that has ever lived has run from the painful and uncomfortable and chased after what was thought to be pleasurable and satisfying. All day, every day, we chase after what we think will bring us happiness and run from the uncomfortable, trying to stave off our subtle, or not so subtle, sense of incompleteness.

When do we ever “arrive” at our destination – lasting happiness and contentment? Why do so many celebrities commit suicide? Don’t they “have it all”? What Christmas present that we craved so badly ever brought us lasting happiness and contentment? When did we ever find a girlfriend or spouse who brought us nothing but joy and happiness without a fair amount of pain?

Here’s a good one – when did you ever masturbate and feel happy, proud and fulfilled?

Why do so many people “succeed” in life – getting the good job, the nice and attractive spouse, the nice car and house, and the 2.5 perfect children – only to have a midlife crisis? They did everything they were told would make them happy and content, and as it turns out… They still aren’t happy or satisfied!

And therein lies the crux of the matter – until you realize that a part of your mind is always craving more, you’ll never be truly happy and fulfilled. It’s time to stop looking solely for external sources of happiness, and time to cultivate inner happiness and contentment.

Going back to vairagya and renunciation – if you’re practicing semen retention, you’ve already begun to practice renunciation, at least from porn and masturbation. Try kicking it up a notch and renouncing a bit more – do you really need to be scrolling Instagram, Twitter, Reddit, etc constantly? Do you really need to be constantly distracting yourself with Netflix, video games, and Discord? How happy can you be living simply?

Ponder how those “uncivilized” tribes of people could manage to have any modicum of happiness without any of our “modern luxuries”. In fact, many people are starting to believe they are likely happier in many ways.

Ponder how we live in a capitalist society that pushes you to buy more, do more, be more – party more, fuck more, make more money, buy more things, masturbate more to porn and OnlyFans, post more on social media to show just how much “more” and “better” you’re living as compared to your peers… Ponder how the message is “more consumption will make you happier”, because that’s how a capitalist society runs!

Fuck off, consumerism.

Ask yourself – are you wisely and consciously using the things in your environment, or do they have you hooked, are they using you? Do you seek all of your happiness and pleasure from external quick fixes, or do you have some practices that help you to cultivate inner joy, happiness, contentment?

“So throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly my darling, on tiptoes and no luggage, not even a sponge bag, completely unencumbered.” – From the book Island, by Aldous Huxley

On to the Poem

You can find copies of his poem in book format, although I haven’t found one that is this translation.

BHARTRIHARI’S VERSES ON RENUNCIATION

I have travelled in many countries, hard to travel in,
And got no result;
Giving up pride of birth and position,
I have served all.
Like a crow stealing into a kitchen,
With fear I have eaten the bread of others in their homes,
Yet thou, Desire, who leadest to evil deeds,
Leavest me not!

(Verse 2)

I have crossed oceans to find wealth.
I have blasted mountains to get jewels.
I have spent whole nights in graveyards
repeating Mantras
And have obtained — not the broken cowrie
of blessedness
Ah, Desire, give me up now.

(Verse 3)

I have borne the wicked words of the wicked;
To please fools, when my heart is weeping,
my lips ever laughed.
Stopping my judgment, I have with folded hands
Stood before unworthy persons.
Even now, my Desire, why do you make me dance 
like a fool?

(Verse 4)

For this life, which is like a drop of water 
on a lotus leaf,
We have not enjoyed, but enjoyments have enjoyed us.
We did not penance, but penances burnt us up.
Time did not fly, yet we are gone.
We become decrepit with age, but not so Desire.
Infirmity assails us, the skin wrinkles,
The hair whitens, the body becomes crooked,
Old age comes on.
Desire alone grows younger every day.

(Verses 5-8)

Hope is the name of this river, whose water is Desire,
And Thirst the waves thereof.
Passion is the crocodile living in that water,
Vain resolves are the birds that reside
In the tree of virtue on the shores and kill it.
But there are the whirlpools of Delusion
And Despondence, the high banks.
The great Yogis are blissful because they,
With their pure minds, never crossed this river.

(Verse 10)

Blessed are they that, living even in the
caves of mountains,
Meditate on the supreme Light.
Even the birds will fearlessly drink of the
tears of pleasure
That flow from their eyes.
Alas, our minds grow familiar, even in imagination,
With palaces and pleasure — gardens,
And thus our lives fleet by.

(Verse 14)

Even when the only food is gained by begging,
and that is tasteless;
One’s bed, the dry earth;
One’s whole family, his own body;
His only clothing, a ragged bit of cloth —
Alas, alas, the desire for enjoyment does not leave a man.

(Verse 15)

Not knowing the power of flame, the insect falls into it.
The fish swallows the bait, not knowing the hook inside.
That, well aware of the vanity and dangers of the world,
We cannot give it up —
Such is the power of Delusion.

(Verse 18)

Have such places in the Himalayas become extinct
That a man should go begging at others’ doors?
Have the roots in the mountain forests all disappeared?
Are the springs all dry?
Are the trees all withered that bear sweet fruits 
And bark for garments
That a man should look with fear on the face of a fool,
Whose head is turned by a little wealth?
(Lit., “Whose eyebrows are dancing with the wind of the
pride of a little wealth”.)

Verses 24-25)

Arise! Let us go into the forest
Where pure roots and fruits will be our food,
Pure water our only drink,
Pure leaves our bed,
And where the little-minded, the thoughtless,
And those whose hearts are cramped with wealth
Do not exist.

(Verse 26)

In enjoyment is the fear of disease;
In high birth, the fear of losing caste;
In wealth, the fear of tyrants;
In honour, the fear of losing her;
In strength, the fear of enemies;
In beauty, the fear of the other sex;
In knowledge, the fear of defeat;
In virtue, the fear of scandal;
In the body, the fear of death.

In this life, all is fraught with fear.
Renunciation alone is fearless.

(Verse 31)

The root of health has always round about it
A thousand worms in the form of dangers and disease.
Where fortune falls, open a hundred gates of danger.
Whosoever is born, him death will surely swallow.
Say, where is that Providence who ever created 
Anything that died not?

(Verse 33)

Life is like a wave upon the waters,
Youth only remains a few days.
Wealth is like a fancy of the mind,
It immediately vanishes.
Enjoyment is like a flash of lightning
amongst dark clouds.
Our most beloved one is only for a moment.
Knowing this, O man, give your heart unto Brahman
To cross this ocean of life.

(Verse 36)

. . . Living in whom gods like Indra, Brahmâ 
      and others appear like a blade of grass,
Whose anger can destroy the worlds in a moment.
O sage, know Him, that One Supreme
Who dies not,
And give not your mind to false enjoyment.

(Verse 40)

Ah, where is happiness in this life?

(At best it lasts but a hundred years, of which half is spent in sleep; of the other half, half in decrepitude; of what remains — one half goes in childhood and, of the rest, still half in serving others!)

O man, in this futile, wave-like life
Where is happiness?

(Verse 49)

Now you appear as child
And now as a youth, whose whole occupation is love.
This moment poor, another wealthy,
Now a babe, and again a decrepit old man.
O actor man, at last you vanish from the stage
When death beckons you behind the scenes!

(Verse 50)

You are a king, but we have served Gurus,
Who are great in knowledge.
You are known by your wealth as a king,
We for our knowledge.
There is infinite difference between us and you,
Therefore we are not the persons to wait upon you,
O Kings!

(Verse 51)

Oh, when will that day come,
When in a forest, saying “Shiva”, “Shiva”,
My days shall pass?
A serpent and a garland the same,
The strong foe and the friend the same,
The flower-bed and the stone-bed the same,
A beautiful woman and a blade of grass the same!

(Verses 85, 90)

O Shiva, when shall I be able to cut
To the very roots of my Karma,
By becoming solitary, desireless, quiet —
My hands my only plate, and the cardinal points 
my clothing?

(Verse 99)

The fruits are sufficient food,
The waters of the mountain sufficient dinner,
The earth a sufficient bed,
And bark a sufficient garment —
These are all welcome.
Only I cannot bear the proud words of fools,
Whose organs are all disordered by the drink
Of the wine of new wealth!

(Verse 54)

What if you have got the wealth that fulfils every desire?
If your foot is on the heads of your foes,
What of that?
If you have made all your love wealthy,
If your body remains a Kalpa (A periodic cycle of creation and dissolution.) — what of that?
The only thing to be desired is Renunciation
Which gives all love to Shiva.

(Verse 67)

Fear only life, that brings Birth and Death,
Have no love of friends, no lust, no attachment.
Alone, living alone in a forest,
What is more to be longed for than this Renunciation.

(Verse 68)

Going searching in the lower regions,
Going into the skies,
Travelling through all the worlds,
This is but the fickleness of the mind.
Ah, friend, you never remember the Lord
Who resides within you!
How can you get happiness?

(Verse 70)

What is there in the reading of Vedas,
The Shrutis, the Purânas and doing sacrifices?
Freedom alone takes off the weight
of this dreadful world,
And manifests Self-blessedness.
Here is the truth: the rest is all shop-keeping.

(Verse 71)

When the body is still healthy and diseaseless,
When old age has not yet attacked it,
When the organs have not yet lost their power,
And life is still full and undiminished,
Now, now, struggle on, rendering great help to yourself!
My friend, it is useless to try to dig a well
In a house that is already on fire!

(Verse 75)

In Shiva, who is the Lord of this Universe,
Or Vishnu, its soul, I see no difference,
But still, my love is for Him
Who has the young moon on His forehead.

(Verse 84)

Oh when will that time come,
When in a beautiful full-moon night,
Sitting on the banks of some river,
And in a calm, yet high notes repeating
“Shiva! Shiva! Shiva!”
All my feelings will come out through the eyes
In the form of tears?

(Verse 85)

When, wearing only the Kaupina, (Loincloth.)
Lying on the sands of the holy Ganges in Benares,
When shall I weep aloud, “O Lord of ghouls”,
Saying this, and whole days shall pass like moments?

(Verse 87)

When, bathing in the pure Ganges water,
Worshipping Thee, Omnipresent, with holy fruits
and flowers,
Stretching myself on stones in a stony cave,
My whole soul shall go into meditation,
And according to the voice of my Guru,
I shall avoid all misery, and purify
The mind defiled with serving the rich.

(Verse 88)

This whole wide earth my bed,
My beautiful pillows my own two arms,
My wonderful canopy the blue sky,
And the cool evening air to fan me,
The moon and the stars my lamps,
And my beautiful wife, Renunciation, by my side,
What king is there who can sleep like me in pleasure?

(Verse 94)

This Universe is only a little circle.
What is there to desire in it?
Will the ocean go into waves
By the jumping of a little [fish?]?

(Verse 92)

There was a time when I could see nothing but Women
in this world:
And now that my eyes are opened,
I can see nothing but Brahman.

Beautiful are the rays of the moon,
Beautiful are the lawns in the forest,
Beautiful is the meeting of the good,
Beautiful is poetry, and
Beautiful is the face of the beloved.
But to me none of these are beautiful,
Knowing that they are evanescent.

(Verse 79)

Oh mother earth, father wind,
Friend light, sweetheart water,
Brother sky,
Here take my last salutation
With folded hands!
For today I am melting away into Brahman,
Because my heart became pure,
And all delusion vanished
Thro’ the power of your good company.

(Verse 100)

Old age watches us, roaring like a tigress.
Disease, like enemies, is striking us often.
Life is flowing out like water from a broken jar.
Curious still how men do evil deeds in this world!

(Verse 38)

Those beautiful cities.
Those mighty monarchs.
Those powerful nobles.
Those learned assemblies.
Those moon-faced women.
Those proud princes.
And those that sang their praises —
They have all been swept away from the memory
of man.
My salutation, therefore, is to Time who works
all these!

(Verse 41)

The sun by his coming and going every hour
is lessening the life of man.
Time flies without our knowledge,
Crushed as we are by the load of many works.
Seeing the evils of Birth, Old Age, Danger, and Death
We are not afraid.
Ah me, drinking the wine of delusion,
The world has become mad.

(Verse 43)

I have not learnt that knowledge which defeats all
opponents!
Nor have been able, at the point of the sword,
Which can cut thro’ an elephant’s back,
To send our glory even unto the skies;
Nor, under the light of the full moon,
Drunk the nectar of the budding lips of the Beloved.
My youth is gone fruitless
Like a lamp in an empty house.

(Verse 46)

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Conquering Flatlines and Overcoming PAWS

For the first few weeks, you feel great. Tons of energy, tons of motivation, everything seems to be clicking. And then one day, you wake up and just feel kinda “blah”. Things seem less exciting. You’re less interested in your hobbies and quest for self-mastery. The ladies no longer seem as interested, and that spark of confidence you found seems to have died out.

What gives? You were doing everything by the book, what kind of cruel trick is this?

The Flatline/PAWS Phenomenon 

In the retention community, you’ve hit what’s called a flatline. In the world of addiction and recovery, this same phenomenon is known as PAWS – Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. Both are marked by varying degrees of anhedonia (loss of a sense of pleasure), mood swings, depression, lack of libido, irritability, brain fog, even sleep issues. 

In short, life becomes dull, gray and more difficult and annoying than usual. Fun stuff.

Without going into too much detail, what’s happening is your brain is trying to readjust its neurochemistry and come back into balance after you’ve taken away its drug of choice – whether that drug is cocaine, alcohol, opiates, or porn and masturbation. You’ve been overstimulating the reward circuitry in your brain, and now that you’ve taken away that stimulus, you’re left feeling at a loss.

PAWS usually comes in waves or cycles, for a few months up to a few years, depending on the severity of the addiction and a person’s personal biochemistry. The same will apply to flatlining, although I’d venture to guess that for most of us it will be milder than for those with serious drug addictions – though your mileage may vary.

It’s important to remember that if you hit a flatline, it won’t last forever. It’s also important to remember that when that flatline ends, you may hit another one in a few days, weeks or months. Your brain is readjusting, and you have to be patient considering the years of abuse you put it through.

Please check out this great podcast on understanding addiction and the process of PAWS, if you’d like a deeper dive.

The good news is there are a ton of ways to mitigate the effects of PAWS/flatlines, and these same strategies can be used any time you’re feeling down, for whatever reason. Let’s get to it.

Laying the Foundation

The first step for anyone going through a flatline or PAWS is maximizing brain health. We want to be creating an environment conducive to feeling like an unstoppable badass, and we do this by providing the brain with the building blocks it needs for healthy amounts of neurotransmitters, and by reducing inflammation.

This is stuff we should already be doing – eating properly, getting enough sleep, and getting daily/near daily exercise. 

Food

We’ve heard the saying “You are what you eat” so many times it’s lost its profundity, but if you are eating crap foods, you will feel like crap. Period. I could write an entire book on this topic but let’s keep things shit simple, shall we?

Our diet profoundly impacts our severity of flatlining (and mood in general) for two main reasons. 

The first is that the nutrients found in the food you eat, specifically vitamins, amino acids and minerals, are the building blocks of neurotransmitters – such as dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, endorphins and GABA – which have profound effects on your mood, energy levels and outlook on life. The amount of nutrients found in junk food will obviously pale in comparison to that found in natural, minimally processed whole foods. 

The amino acids that make up your neurotransmitters come from protein. Therefore, whether you’re vegan or not, you need to be eating sufficient amounts of protein. If vegan, realize that most plant sources of protein are incomplete, and you need to combine them in order to get a full amino acid profile. If you’re working out and lifting weights, you need to consume even more protein.

Simply put, more of these specific nutrients = more raw substrate for your body to synthesize what it needs in order to grab life by the balls and kick major ass. 

Second, what you eat profoundly affects your levels of inflammation. Junk food is not only devoid of crucial nutrients, it’s almost always extremely inflammatory, and the link between inflammation and depression, chronic disease, pain and low energy levels is beyond obvious at this point. In the sake of brevity I will leave it to you to research this topic if you are interested.

Of particular importance is cutting out refined vegetable/seed/nut oils and deep fried foods, as these oils are not only extremely high in Omega 6 fatty acids that are pro-inflammatory, but these oils are also rancid due to their polyunsaturated fatty acids and the refinement process they go through. Your body tries to incorporate these rancid fatty acids into the cellular membranes, wreaking all kinds of havoc.

The only extracted oils you should be using are high quality olive oil, butter from free range cows, coconut oil, avocado oil and red palm oil. Also to note, most packaged snacks, chips, crackers, etc. are loaded with these oils as they’re much cheaper to produce than the healthier varieties, so you should avoid them or at least reduce them.

Foods that are high in polyphenols, phytochemicals and Omega 3s are foods to focus on. Fatty fish, berries, green tea, dark chocolate, herbs and spices (especially turmeric, ginger, rosemary) and dark leafy greens should be consumed on the regs. 

You can also supplement with a high quality fish oil and a turmeric/curcumin supplement as well, to further lower inflammation. 

Less junk food, more protein, no vegetable oils/deep fried foods, as many fresh, whole foods as possible. 

Sleep

Sleep is the great restorer. Your brain is healing. You need to prioritize your sleeping habits to recover. I won’t go into detail beyond saying to make sure you get regular, deep, high quality sleep. 

Check out this in-depth podcast if you’d like to learn how to perfect your sleep.

Exercise

On the flip side of sleep, exercise is the great amplifier. It boosts mood, energy levels, self-worth, and precious, precious dopamine. 

It’s also the best example of a state-changer. Do you feel depressed? Go on a long run, or do some hill sprints. You’re angry? Lift some heavy ass weights. 

Again, I’m not going to go into detail here – we all know exercise does wonders on mood, motivation and energy levels. If you aren’t getting some form of regular, somewhat-intense exercise, then, well… I guess you don’t want to help yourself get out of this hole you dug for yourself.

Increase Your Yang Jing Energy

I’ve talked a lot about increasing sexual energy before, which is known as jing within Traditional Chinese Medicine. This is split into two categories – yin jing, which is deeply nourishing and restorative, and yang jing, which is more activating and motivating. Using jing-boosting herbs is the easiest and most effective way to increase these energies.

When we begin on our retention path, we don’t want to increase the amount of yang energy too much, as it will generally increase our libido, and lead to relapse. Plus, practicing retention naturally increases our yang jing. As we progress on the path and increase our levels of control, we can begin to start adding in some more yang-boosting herbs.

Increasing our yang energy leads to an increase in drive, motivation, libido, and hunger for both life and women. As such, these herbs should only be used by those experiencing a flatline or by those who have learned to control their impulses, but it feels damn fine to increase that fiery yang jing. It’s like being a teenager all over again – loads of energy, super high libido, and the whole world feels fresh and juicy.

It’s essentially the opposite of a flatline. 

I haven’t shared much about these herbs as they can easily push most guys over the edge, and most guys practicing retention should steer clear of them, until they really have their game down… But for the guy in the midst of relapse, they can really help you break out of it.

My top picks would be cistanche, cordyceps and red ginseng. These all increase yang jing without being too stimulating, with cistanche being the least stimulating to libido, then cordyceps, and then red ginseng.

Head over to Nootropics Depot or Dragon Herbs if you’d like to snag some. Whichever product you use, try it out until you begin to feel like you’re coming out of a flatline, and then either shelf it, or decrease your dosage/usage so it doesn’t lead to a relapse.

Cut out Other Dopamine Wasters

This is another biggie. We cut out what may be our biggest empty waste of dopamine – the PMO cycle. There are still these other stragglers we likely are engaging in daily that are further interfering with our recovery, namely things such as social media (including Reddit and Discord), constant gaming, binge watching tv shows, etc.

Now in a perfect world, you could just cut these things out and find more productive, engaging things to participate in. But we’re living in the middle of a pandemic, we may not have the funds or the means to find all sorts of fun, interesting things to do. And since we cut out PMO, our brain is going to be craving more sources of dopamine release, which is only going to be making these time wasters even more attractive. 

If you’re the strong willed type, highly motivated to recover, and already have plenty of other things to do with your time, it’s time to nut up and cut them out completely for a while. It might sting a little, life will feel kinda blah, but give it two weeks and things will start looking up. A month later and you’ve got a whole new you.

If this sounds too difficult, at least limit these activities. Scrolling on Instagram, Reddit or TikTok is absolutely pointless, and is nothing but a stimulating distraction from your actual life. These things are masturabtion for your mind! I’d cut those things out completely, or at least limit it to 15 mins in the morning and 15 mins in the evening.

Stop binge watching things on Netflix or YouTube. When you watch things, at least try to make it educational by watching a documentary or something inspirational. In either case, put a limit on that as well – a little bit in the evening, certainly no more than half an hour most days, occasionally allowing yourself a bit more on the weekends or something.

Limit gaming as well, but in my eyes, it isn’t quite as bad. It’s interactive, requires some skill, and can even have a social aspect to it. But again, you need to place limits on it. Bottom line, either cut out pointless screen time or reduce it drastically.

Environmental Enrichment

Environmental enrichment is defined as “a combination of more opportunities for physical activity, learning and social interaction,” and has repeatedly been demonstrated to not only increase neurogenesis (the brain building new neural connections) but to prevent addictive behavior and reduce relapses after addiction has set in. 

The classic example is a study of the effect of two different environments on rats in relation to self-administration of cocaine. One group of rats were placed in isolated cages, where the only other things in the cage were water, food, and a lever they could press that would self-administer cocaine. Obviously, with not much else to do, these little fellas turned into your veritable Tony Montana, doing more booger sugar than Jack Nicholson’s character in The Departed.

The other rats were placed in cages with the same water, food, and cocaine set up, but also had access to mazes, wheels to run in, and other rats to hang and shoot the shit with. These rats would occasionally go over to the cocaine lever, but spent a ton of time doing other stuff. 

One group of rats thrived in their enriched environment; the other group succumbed to the woes of boredom by constant self-administration of fine, Columbian nose candy.

Let’s just look at the abstract of a 2010 study, Prevention and treatment of drug addiction by environmental enrichment –

“Accumulating evidence indicates that EE can mimic positive life experiences and prevent the development of drug addiction. More recently, EE has also been shown to eliminate already developed addiction-related behaviors and to reduce the risks of relapse. These preventive and ‘curative’ effects of EE are associated with dramatic plastic changes (neurogenesis) in several brain areas such as the hippocampus, the frontal cortex and the striatum. EE alters neurotransmitter systems, produces changes in gene expression and transcription factors, induces chromatin rearrangement, and stimulates hippocampal neurogenesis. Here we review the existent literature on behavioral, neurochemical, cellular and molecular effects of EE and we discuss different possible ways in which EE-induced neuroadaptations result in decreased vulnerability to addiction and relapse. We propose a unified theoretical framework in which EE is seen as a functional opposite of stress. On the one hand, the antistress effects of EE would reduce the reinforcing effects of drugs and their ability to induce long-lasting neuroplastic changes and, thus, they would prevent the development of drug addiction. On the other hand, permanent or transient restoration of the normal, pre-drug functioning of the stress system would facilitate resisting prepotent desire to take drugs and it would decrease the risks of relapse.”

Quit PMO -> have nothing else to do -> depression and withdrawal -> relapse -> feelings of guilt, shame, powerlessness and regret

Vs.

Quit PMO -> have enriched environment -> THRIVE

How do we enrich our environments? 

For one thing, exercise. “Many of these changes can be effected merely by introducing a physical exercise regimen rather than requiring cognitive activity per se.”

Interaction with other people is huge. You have to constantly be on your toes and mentally agile to keep the conversation going, to keep things lively.

Spice up your living space. Get yourself some damn house plants. Whenever I have a lady over I get tons of compliments for having multiple plants in my house. Learn a musical instrument and keep it out of its case and ready to be played. Have interesting books lying around. Listen to new music. Hell, I haven’t seen any research on it but I guarantee you playing a new video game has a bit of the same beneficial effect.

Make your living space as interesting as possible. Make your life as interesting as possible. 

Go out and hike, or even better, join a hiking group. Put yourself in a whole new environment by hiking, visiting a different coffee shop rather than your staple one, and taking a different route to work or school.  Learn a new sport, hobby, craft. Travel. Go to a new restaurant. Learn how to cook a new meal. For God’s sake, do something with your life! 

The great Louis CK – “People say, ‘My phone sucks.’ No, it doesn’t! The shittiest cellphone in the world is a miracle. Your life sucks. Around the phone.”

Make sure your life doesn’t suck.

Brain Hacking

Dopamine 

A big pursuit in the nootropics community is improving “dopaminergic tone”. This is done either by using compounds that increase dopamine synthesis/release and/or using other compounds that increase your brain’s sensitivity to dopamine.

The basic premise is: enhance dopaminergic tone -> increase motivation, drive and pleasure.

Because of rampant PMO, we have dealt a massive blow to dopamine receptors and the reward circuitry in our brains. The constant smashing of the pleasure buttons in our brain has caused them to become less sensitive to dopamine (from all sources) in an effort to maintain homeostasis. Because we have finally stopped mindlessly engaging in PMO and have thus taken away our empty source of dopaminergic stimulation, we’re left with a brain that produces less dopamine from normal activities and is less sensitive to the dopamine the receptors do come into contact with. No bueno.

There are many substances out there that enhance the synthesis and/or release of dopamine within the brain, ranging from simple amino acids like L-tyrosine, to herbs such as mucuna, to pharmaceutical agents such as adderall. 

I recommend trying out L-tyrosine or DL-phenylalanine (DLPA) as dopamine precursors. We want to start by providing the brain with the nutrients it needs to synthesize its own production of dopamine. The brain uses l-tyrosine to create L-DOPA, which it then converts into dopamine.

L-phenylalanine is the precursor to L-tyrosine, while *D-*phenylalanine inhibits an enzyme in the body that breaks down enkephalins, naturally occurring endorphin peptides. This means that supplementing with DLPA not only boosts dopamine synthesis but also the production of mood-boosting and pain-relieving endorphins.

On the other end of the spectrum, we want to keep our brain sensitive to the dopamine we areproducing. 

The adaptogenic herb gynostemma prevents the death of over-stimulated dopamine neurons, as does magnesium. In terms of dopamine resensitization, cordyceps has to be my top pick. It’s an adaptogenic mushroom that not only boosts our sexual energy, but enhances the expression of the rate-limiting enzyme tyrosine-hydroxylase, which converts L-tyrosine to L-DOPA, working in an entirely different method than tyrosine and phenylalanine.

Uridine, as well as sulbutiamine, a fat-soluble form of vitamin B1, both up regulate dopamine D2 receptors, as does forskolin.

I highly recommend heading over to Nootropics Depot for these supplements. Dragon Herbs has a great gynostemma tea I drink daily, as well as a few awesome cordyceps products, with this tincturebeing my top pick.

Embrace the Suck

Guess what my friend? You dug yourself into this hole, now it’s time to marinate in it and grow from it.

It sucks. It’s hard. It isn’t all butterflies and rainbows and puppy kisses. 

But that’s life. And you need to embrace it, because life is tough, man. Life isn’t always fun and easy, and neither should it be. “No pain, no gain” is a trite saying but there is a massive kernel of truth there. You had your wonton fun that got you into this mess, now you have to deal with the consequences, and the good news? That’s a good thing.

Growth only occurs through stress. You can’t get bigger muscles without stressing them through a workout. You can’t become smarter without putting in the time and doing some studying. 

And you can’t grow as a human being without going through some hardship. This is but a small bump in your road, my dude! Feel the boredom, feel the apathy, feel the lack of energy, embrace it, and grow from it.

“For a man to conquer himself is the first and noblest of all victories.” – Plato

“Resistance is the grindstone of our soul.” – Aubrey Marcus

“If you are irritated by every rub, how will you ever be polished?” – Rumi

“No man is more unhappy than he who has never faced adversity, for he is not permitted to prove himself.” Seneca

Wim Hof Method

The Wim Hof Method is a breathing routine you may have heard of. It combines a specific type of hyperventilation combined with breath holds, usually followed by a cold shower or ice bath. It’s very invigorating and really will get you feeling energized – with science behind it as well.

It’s helpful for us experiencing PAWS because both the breathing method and the cold exposure decrease inflammation (which leads to apathy, fatigue and depression, remember?) greatly increase levels of adrenaline within the body, boosting your mood and increasing energy levels. 

It’s like a shot of espresso that you create internally yourself.

“Compared to a control group who were not trained in the Wim Hof Method, the trained participants showed fewer flu-like symptoms, lower levels of proinflammatory mediators, and increased plasma epinephrine levels. In conclusion, the trained group was able to voluntarily activate their sympathetic nervous system.”

The method also “showed activation of areas in the brain associated with pain suppression, self-reflection and well-being, in particular the periaqueductal gray area (PAG)”.

As for cold exposure, per this excellent write up by Dr. Rhonda Patrick – “There is anecdotal evidence that cold exposure improves mood and it has been​ s​uggested that cold showers may even be used to prevent and treat depression.​”

“One of the most consistent and profound physiological responses to cold exposure is a robust release of norepinephrine into the bloodstream, as well as in the locus coeruleus region of the brain. ​What makes norepinephrine so interesting is that it’s not only a hormone but also a neurotransmitter and is involved in vigilance, focus, attention and mood… Decreased norepinephrine neurotransmission is associated with inattention, decreased focus and cognitive ability, low energy, and poor mood (generally).”

Here’s how to do it – 

  1. Breathe in through the mouth forcibly but passively let the air back out, and repeat thirty times.
  2. On the thirtieth breath, inhale fully, release the air out passively and then hold your breath with mostly empty lungs, until it gets fairly uncomfortable.
  3. Breathe back in, filling your lungs about 90%, and hold the breath inside for 15-20 seconds. This is one round.
  4. Complete three rounds total.
  5. Get in your ice bath or cold shower

And boom! Instant mood and energy boost.

This can also be done without a cold shower – it’s still quite energizing.

Motivation vs Discipline

Let’s just keep this one short and to the point. Motivation waxes and wanes, just like everything in life. When you’re feeling motivated, that’s great, time to kick some ass. When you’re not feeling motivated, guess what? That’s great, time to kick some ass!

Motivation is great when you have it, but it won’t always be there. Better to just develop unshakeable discipline instead.

“Don’t expect to be motivated every day to get out there and make things happen. You won’t be. Don’t count on motivation. Count on Discipline.” – Jocko Willink 

On Jocko’s instagram, he pretty much only posts his wake up times. Showing that he always wakes up before 5 am. A very boring instagram account, but one that drives the point home.

Parting Thoughts

Flatlines are a bitch, and while there are a lucky minority that don’t really experience them, most will in some form or another.

Recognize them as simply a goalpost along the way, a road marker of sorts. They are part and parcel of semen retention, and rather than being feared, should be embraced. Use these tactics, and instead of waiting for a flatline to occur, implement them beforehand.

Like all things in life, they come and they go. Don’t get attached to the highs and lows of life, just keep putting in the work, and all good things will be due to you in time.

Keep on keeping on, brothers

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Raw-Dogging Reality – Recovering Your Dopamine, Pt. 2

Meditation

Meditation is a great way to see firsthand your mind’s addiction to empty stimulation. You sit down, close your eyes, and attempt to keep your mind focused on just one thing, such as the breath. Sounds boring right? It certainly was for me at first and it is for most newcomers, who find that their mind will do anything in its power to find something more interesting. 

Daydreams and distractions abound! 

Stick with it though, and slowly but surely the mind will begin to settle, and peace, even bliss can begin to arise. Further, it strengthens your mind’s ability to focus and stay on task, “sharpening the saw” so to speak, so that you can accomplish your goals that much more easily.

In short, meditation is the exact opposite of our attention-scattered, distracted, empty stimulation-seeking habits, and is a big part of the antidote. Our minds drive us from distraction to distraction; meditation says “no” to all of these distractions and teaches the mind to settle on just one thing.

The things we’re giving up this month are a prime example of how the mind craves distraction and stimulation. We aren’t content to just be, but instead run from distraction to distraction, from empty dopamine hit to dopamine hit, hoping to achieve some lasting satisfaction. 

But these things never bring lasting satisfaction, do they? If they did, we wouldn’t get bored so fast and look for something else to fill that hole within us. If they did, that Christmas gift we wanted so badly when we were 10 would still be bringing us great satisfaction, but the satisfaction faded pretty quickly. Come to think of it, the satisfaction we get from anything fades pretty quickly, doesn’t it?

Meditation is the antithesis to our mind constantly running around seeking stimulation – you bring it back, again and again and again, to the object of meditation. And as the mind settles and lets go of its craving, peace and bliss may start to arise. 

What might cause these good feelings? The joy you experience when you get something that you really wanted isn’t actually coming from that object – it’s coming from the craving for that object going away. Think about it, there is nothing inherently joy-producing from a nice juicy steak – if there was, you’d be fine eating it for every meal of the day for the rest of eternity, but anyone would get sick of that pretty quick.

The joy you experience when you get something you were really craving comes from the craving going away – and the amount of joy is proportional to the amount of craving that has ceased.

When the mind lets go of craving, it experiences peace and bliss. This is what meditation can provide, a temporary reprieve from craving, on demand. Meditation teaches you to find contentment and peace in the present moment, so that you aren’t reliant upon outer sources of happiness.

But it takes practice and commitment.

If you aren’t meditating yet, try it out this month. 5 minutes in the evening the first week, 10 the next week, 15 on week three, and 20 mins each night on week four.

Basic Meditation on the Breath

  1. Sit in a comfortable position in a quiet room, and take 3-5 deep belly breaths to settle down. Set a timer for 5-20 mins.
  2. Focus on the sensations of the breath at the tip of the nostrils – this will be your object of meditation. Don’t alter your breath in any way, just passively notice the sensations.
  3. Begin to count your breaths, with one in-breath and one out-breath being one breath. So breathe in, feeling the sensations at the tip of the nose, breathe out feeling those same sensations, and mentally note “one”. Count up to five or ten, then repeat.
  4. Conversely, you can note “in” on the in-breath, and “out” on the out-breath.
  5. When your mind wanders, and it will, gently bring your attention back to the sensations of the breath at the tip of the nose. Do this for the entire length of the session, and each time the mind wanders and you bring it back, think of it as “reps” for your mind muscles.
  6. If after a while, when mind wandering has been significantly reduced, drop the mental noting and try to stay with just the sensations of the breath. Try to be aware of every moment of sensation on the in-breath, be aware of the lack of sensation in between breaths, and then be aware of every sensation of the out-breath. This is more subtle and thus more difficult.
  7. When the timer goes off, congratulate yourself. Generate positive feelings, because you just did something Kingly – you took control and overcame the urge to distract yourself. 
  8. Your mind needs to be balanced between the gentle effort of concentrating on the breath with a relaxed “letting go” of other thoughts and sensations. Just as a guitar string that is too tight or too loose won’t sound right, so too must your mind be balanced between gentle effort and relaxation.

Supplements to Enhance Dopamine

There are supplements/drugs that release dopamine on their own, called agonists, that you mainly want to avoid right now. They cause your brain to release large amounts of dopamine all at once, which feels great, but basically ruins your inherent dopamine sensitivity and production over time, leading to depression, the blahs, anhedonia, lethargy, etc etc. So for the purpose of this month-long experiment, avoid dopamine agonists like nicotine, beer, Mary Jane and drugs like (do I even need to say this?) cocaine, adderall and other ADHD meds, MDMA, opiates, kratom, etc. If you are prescribed any of these, it’s best to stick with your prescription and discuss it with your doctor if you want to get off of them.

Coffee, tea and caffeine get a pass as they actually help keep dopamine receptors sensitive, but keep the intake on the lower side – aim for reducing down to 50 to 200 mg per day tops, over a week or two.

Then there are supplements that enhance your body’s own production of dopamine, called precursors. These supply your brain with the raw material to synthesize dopamine, but almost all of them have a “rate-limiting factor”, which means the brain won’t get overloaded with dopamine and you won’t deal with decreases in natural production and loss of sensitivity. 

Certain compounds are great at protecting dopaminergic neurons from toxicity from too much dopamine, aka our usual quick fixes, be it lighter things like gaming/social media or harder things like occasional drug use. These are great options to have on hand or take daily.

Finally, there are supplements that can help resensitize your neurons to dopamine – meaning however much dopamine your brain naturally releases will be better utilized. In other words, you go further with less. 

All of these options are fantastic for us because once we give up our crutches, our quick fixes, our brains will be without their usual sources of quick dopamine hits, meaning we will likely be feeling pretty “blah”. Dopamine precursors will give us an immediate boost in energy and motivation, and dopamine re-sensitization agents will help us over the long term to go further with the dopamine our brains are naturally releasing from everyday life.

Dopamine precursors – must be taken on an empty stomach for full effectiveness. Pick one or two to try out, and use 1-2 times daily or keep them for when you’re really dragging ass. Don’t use a bunch at the same time! We’re just looking for a little dopaminergic boost if we need it.

  • L-Tyrosine – converts to L-DOPA which converts to dopamine. This and NALT are probably the strongest in terms of acute effects.
  • N-Acetyl L-Tyrosine (NALT) – This is more potent than plain L-Tyrosine, but I actually prefer plain Tyrosine. Many prefer NALT, so take your pick. Lots of discussion on comparisons of the two on r/nootropics.
  • L-Phenylalanine – converts to L-Tyrosine, then L-DOPA, then dopamine. It’s a bit less effective than L-Tyrosine
  • DL-Phenylalanine (DLPA) – L-Phenyl converts to L-Tyrosine like before, but the D-Phenyl blocks the enzyme in the body that breaks down endorphins, giving you a nice pain-killing, warm fuzzy feeling – you won’t get high, but it really softens the edges of going without your dopaminergic crutches. This is what I’ve been using, as it provides a very nice but subtle glow while my brain readjusts to giving up its dopamine depletors. A bit “softer” than L-Ty or NALT, but has the endorphin glow.
  • Cordyceps – another great pick that works in a different manner. This is an amazing jing- and qi-boosting mushroom from the orient that increases tyrosine-hydroxylase, the enzyme that converts L-Tyrosine to L-DOPA. From the linked study, “These results suggest that CME (a cordyceps extract) can upregulate the dopaminergic (DArgic) system, and may contribute to neuroprotection in neurodegenerative diseases.” I have been using Nootropic Depot’s 10:1 Cordyceps extract, and I love it.

Dopamine neuroprotectants – these won’t do much for our little month long experiment, and you likely won’t notice any “boost” when you take them, but they’re great to get in the habit of using daily to protect your dopamine neurons, or especially to use before you’re going to do anything that hammers the dopamine system – drinking, taking prescription ADHD meds, etc.

  • PQQ – Similar to CoQ10, PQQ is neuroprotective to dopaminergic neurons, is a powerful antioxidant and not only energizes existing mitochondria (the engines of your cells), but even creates new mitochondria, giving you more day to day energy- in other words, it boosts qi/prana. No need to cycle but it can be on the pricier side, and oftentimes you’ll find it paired with CoQ10. I’d do a 2-3 month cycles of it to get the mitochondrial benefits, or simply keep it on hand if you know you’re going to be indulging in anything that overloads the dopamine system. Here it is with CoQ10, here it is by itself.
  • Gynostemma – a classic adaptogen hailing from Traditional Chinese Medicine, this qi-boosting herb is also neuroprotective and “neuro-restorative” to dopaminergic neurons. Also delays fatigue, improves insulin sensitivity and a whole lot more. It’s pretty affordable – I have 1-2 cups per day of this tea, which also has extracts of schisandra, goji berry, astragalus and siberian ginseng. This combo is also available in tincture form, or you can try loose gynostemma by itself. Here is an organic source but it will cost a bit more. Also I have not tried these specific loose teas so feel free to source your own.

Dopamine resensitizing agents – these are the real gold here, as they help our neurons to actually recuperate and repair, making them more sensitive to the dopamine our brains naturally produce. While some do gently increase the amount of dopamine in the brain, the big benefit is that they make what dopamine is released more effective – but you need to take them consistently over a longer period of time to get these effects. Try one out for a few months at least, or better yet, use one for 2-3 months, then use a different one, etc, keeping those dopamine receptors fresh.

  • Sulbutiamine – a fat-soluble form of vitamin B1 that modulates dopaminergic systems in the brain. It actually decreases dopamine in D2 receptors, which, over the long haul, increases their expression and sensitivity. For most, it provides a pretty palpable energy boost the first 5-10 times using it, then seems to not do much for energy, but it still is working in the background on those D2 receptors. My top pick if you regularly consume alcohol, as alcohol massively depletes vitamin B1. 
  • Uridine – a dopamine neuromodulator, uridine can increase dopamines effectiveness. Use uridine monophosphate or its more bioavailable form, triacetyluridine. It has even more potent restorative effects when combined with the omega-3 fatty acid, DHA, which you can buy in an already combined form here – highly recommended.
  • Forskolin – robustly upregulates dopamine D2 receptors and “receptor supersensitivity” via increasing cAMP, which has other benefits, possibly increasing testosterone as well. 
  • Acetyl-l-carnitine – also known as ALCAR, this acetylated amino acid increases expression of dopamine D1 receptors – all the others affect D2. It’s also neuroprotective, boosts energy and helps shuttle fat into mitochondria to be burned as fuel. You’ll probably feel it’s energy boosting effects, and can get powder here (it’s sour but manageable), or pills here.

Just Be

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” – Blaise Pascal

I write about this practice in the book I’ve been working on (just need to format it at this point), that of practicing just being. It isn’t a cutting-edge tool or technique, but rather a test of sorts to see how far we’ve come in terms of giving up our pointless dopamine depletors. 

Just sit down on a park bench, your front porch, the end of your bed or on your couch. Put your phone on airplane mode and set a timer for 10 minutes. Don’t drink coffee, tea or a beer, don’t smoke a cigarette or a joint. 

Just sit there and be. 

Don’t meditate, don’t try to problem solve, don’t pray, don’t repeat a mantra, don’t do anything at all. Thoughts will come up, but try to remain a passive observer of them.

How antsy are you? How badly do you want to check your phone? How excruciating is it to just sit there calmly? 

Isn’t it ironic we call ourselves human beings when 99% of us find it painful to just sit and be?

What you’re experiencing first hand is craving and aversion in the mind. Craving to do something else, something more stimulating. Aversion to just being, aversion to plain old reality as it is.

Do this once or twice a week this month. You should find that by the end of the month, it’s not so bad to just sit there. Hell, it may even be pleasant. It’s a great litmus test to see how far you’ve come in terms of seeking empty stimulation.

“When we scratch the wound and give into our addictions, we do not allow the wound to heal. But when we instead experience the raw quality of the itch or pain of the wound and do not scratch it, we actually allow the wound to heal.” – Pema Chodron

Putting it all Together

So how do we put this all together? The first part is cutting out dopamine depletors, or at least greatly reducing them. I recommend taking an inventory and seeing what activities you regularly engage in that are sources of empty pleasure, and then systematically give them up.

You should cut out drugs and alcohol entirely this month. If you’re addicted to anything beyond caffeine, that goes beyond the scope of this little experiment, so get help with that first. I’m not getting into the debate on whether caffeine should be used or not while practicing semen retention – it works fine for some and causes relapses for others. I will say that if you’re a heavy caffeine user, try tapering down by 50 mg or so each week. 

Embrace boredom – you may find it leads to creativity. Don’t whip your phone out while you’re waiting in line at the store or while going to the bathroom. Don’t start texting your boys when the book you’re reading bores you. Try driving, lifting and running sometimes without music.

I want you to be raw-dogging reality! Yes, it will be boring at first. Be a man, suck it up, and persevere. It will get better as time goes on.

At the same time as you cut out your dopamine wasters, actively embrace discomfort, both the small things like chores, homework, reading, journaling, meditating, and the big things, like exercise, fasting, sauna use and/or cold showers. Create nightly lists, accomplish what’s on them first thing in the morning.

Remember, exercise, fasting, sauna use and cold showers not only toughen up the mind, but give you a big boost in terms of neurotransmitters, such as dopamine, epinephrine, serotonin and endorphins. These hormetic stressors will provide an immediate and sustainable release of dopamine, as well as speed up the recovery process. They will make your life much less “blah” and much more rewarding.

Recall that meditation is the antithesis to the constant stimulation-seeking, craving aspect of the mind. It would do you well to make it a daily habit, even if it’s just 5 to 10 minutes each day.

Get yourself a supplement that naturally increases dopamine in a natural, controlled manner, as your brain will be in a dopamine deficit after cutting out those timewasters. Bonus points if you get a supplement that helps resensitize your dopamine receptors.

As your brain resensitizes and your hedonic setpoint gets raised, the small things will gradually become more and more interesting and pleasurable. 

What you do after this experiment is, of course, your choice. If you choose to keep going, realize you’ll need to constantly be putting effort into this. Remember, we’re drowning in a world of hyperstimulating things – to push away or limit phone time, screen time, game time, drugs, junk food, and especially porn requires constant effort and vigilance. 

Entropy is always working against us, boys.

You will be greatly rewarded, however, as you will no longer be a slave to your mind’s craving for constant stimulation. You will be in control. You will be a King amongst the peasants. You will tell your mind what to focus on, and it will listen. And after a few days to weeks to months, you will find accomplishing tasks and goals rewarding. You will look down sympathetically at everyone else, watching as they run towards the next empty dopamine hit, leaving behind their real dreams and goals.

You’ll need to figure out to what degree you let these vices back into your life. Some things you may want to cut out entirely, such as endless scrolling on social media, drinking alcohol, or smoking cigarettes or weed.

Or you may decide that if you had a good, productive week, a couple beers with the boys on the weekend is no big deal, or enjoying a well-rolled spliff as you game for a few hours Sunday night is no big deal. 

Whatever you decide, be sure to keep constant vigilance and to push on the pain side of the balance. Make sure that you are the one in control, not the constant craving for empty stimulation. 

“It matters not how strait the gate,

      How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

      I am the captain of my soul.” Invictus, William Ernest Henley

Further Resources 

Dr. Anna Lembke’s book Dopamine Nation, and the Huberman Lab Podcast episode with Lembke titled Understanding and Treating Addiction, for understanding dopamine more and leveraging the “pleasure/pain balance”

James Clear’s Atomic Habits to learn best practices for creating new habits that stick and breaking old counter-productive habits

A Mind Without Craving – An excellent book by Delson Armstrong

The Craving Mind: From Cigarettes to Smartphones to Love – Why We Get Hooked and How We Can Break Bad Habits – By Judson Brewer

David Goggins on the Joe Rogan Experience, episode 1080 and episode 1906, for toughening up and general bad-assery

Jocko Willink on the JRE – “Don’t worry about motivation. Motivation is fickle. It comes and goes. It is unreliable – and when you are counting on motivation to get your goals accomplished, you will likely fall short. Don’t count on motivation; count on discipline.” – Jocko Willink 

Conquering Flatlines/PAWS, a previous post – similar info but not necessary reading

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Raw-Dogging Reality – Recovering Your Dopamine, Pt. 1

One of the biggest benefits we get from semen retention is the huge increase in dopamine that occurs when we refrain from orgasm. Dopamine is the molecule that not only gives us the energy, confidence and motivation to get things done, but it’s also the molecule of reward, making us feel good when we accomplish our tasks and goals. 

Of course, it’s also responsible for the good feelings we get from food, drugs, sex, gaming, social media – pretty much anything pleasurable.

Unfortunately, the modern world is filled to the brim with cheap thrills, quick fixes and shiny distractions that constantly drain us of our motivation/reward molecule, and I don’t mean just porn – social media, gaming, binge watching Netflix, even text and email alerts all take us out of the present moment, sapping attention and depleting dopamine.

This leaves us crippled, crabby, maybe even downright useless without our normal crutches. 

In other words – we have become so hooked on chemical highs and technological distractions that bare reality has become unbearable. If we take a month or two to get rid of these chemicals and technological distractions (or at least greatly reduce them), then we will, with no further effort, become happier and more interested in the world around us.

Perhaps more importantly, we will find ourselves with both the energy and the motivation to go out there and chase after the things we really want – our dreams, our goals, our mission.

This post is about combating the modern world and all its cheap pitfalls in order to further enhance the benefits we get from abstaining from PMO, first by cutting out those addictive dopamine depletors; by learning to leverage “the suck” to further enhance the dopaminergic pathways and reward centers in the brain; and using targeted supplements to improve the functioning of dopamine within the brain. It’s similar to a “dopamine detox”, but geared towards retainers with some specific exercises and additional goodies.

Further, unlike most of my posts, there’s very little to do with transmuting sexual energy, yoga, and the esoteric. Just plain, hard science on enhancing dopamine – although this concept is essentially the same as tapas, or spiritual austerity.

This article is written with New Year in mind, and framed within a one month context. Try out what is suggested for the month of January, or any month for that matter, but realize that these are practices you should learn to adopt in your daily life, not just one month out of the year.

And let me be very transparent – I am writing this and engaging in this experiment as a kick in my own pants. I’ve gotten a little soft around the edges the last couple of months in some ways – time to get back to the grindstone.

“Resistance is the grindstone of our soul.” – Aubrey Marcus

“Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.” – Warren Buffett

Article at a glance :

  1. Dopamine is the neurochemical currency of drive, motivation and reward. One of the biggest benefits of semen retention is how it quickly and robustly increases dopamine levels – this article is all about further optimizing our lifestyle to maximize dopaminergic function. 
  2. We are addicted to chasing empty stimulation (porn, junk food, social media, gaming, binge watching shows, texts/emails, drugs), and this addiction to distraction and empty stimulation prevents us from doing and enjoying those things we know we need to be doing.
  3. If we give up these meaningless distractions, we allow our brains, specifically our dopamine receptors, time to recuperate and resensitize, making our normal, daily life more enjoyable. We will also reclaim the motivation to accomplish all of our goals, big and small, that we have allowed these devilish distractions to take from us.
  4. Taking this one step further, if we actively “embrace the suck”, we can speed up this process of healing and boost levels of feel good neurotransmitters (Part 1 ends here)
  5. Meditation is the polar opposite of constant stimulation seeking – engaging in focused meditation practice retrains the mind to focus attention and calm down, instead of scattering attention in an agitated manner.
  6. We can use targeted supplementation to increase dopamine levels, protect dopamine neurons, and even to regain neuronal sensitivity to dopamine.
  7. We can assess our progress not only by seeing how much more enjoyment we get out of the real world, but by practicing “just being”.

Dopamine Zombies

The way we achieve things in this life is largely due to dopamine, a neurotransmitter involved in both motivation (the pursuit of our goals and interests), and the feelings of reward after we get or accomplish what we were after. One of the reasons semen retention is so powerful is because of how it’s able to increase dopamine levels so robustly – recall that orgasm leads to a rise in prolactin, which subsequently plummets dopamine levels for up to two weeks afterwards. No orgasm means little prolactin, which means more dopamine, leading to you having the energy, drive and confidence to chase after your goals and accomplish them.

The problem with today’s world is that everything, not just porn, has been designed to hijack the reward pathways in our brains – from food, to video games, to social media, to tv and movies, even to our phones, and nevermind drugs themselves.

Think back to when we were a tribal species. We evolved to get rewarded by “dopamine hits” from finding food, hunting prey, sleeping with actual mates, socializing with real friends and family in person, hearing stories and myths told by elders of the tribe (or by telling them), building and maintaining a living space, dancing and communing around the fire… In other words, we had to work for these rewards, and these rewards were useful and beneficial, ensuring we would do the things we needed to survive and form social bonds. And when we were hunter gatherers, there were essentially zero drugs.

Nowadays? We flip open our phone and have instant access to porn, distracting games, and endless scrolling on social media – which is designed to be addictive. Even texting “creates a dopamine loop” in the brain. We have access to drugs and booze that cause an immediate release of pleasure far beyond anything else in the natural world. We eat food and drink beverages that companies have spent millions of dollars designing to be as rewarding and addicting as possible. 

Just take a look at this chart which shows the massive release of dopamine from some drugs – 

“In today’s dopamine-rich ecosystem, we’ve all become primed for immediate gratification. We want to buy something, and the next day it shows up on our doorstep. We want to know something, and the next second the answer appears on our screen. Are we losing the knack of puzzling things out, or being frustrated while we search for the answer, or having to wait for the things we want? The neuroscientist Samuel McClure and his colleagues examined what parts of the brain are involved in choosing immediate versus delayed rewards. They found that when participants chose immediate rewards, emotion- and reward-processing parts of the brain lit up. When participants delayed their reward, the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain involved in planning and abstract thinking—became active.

The implication here is that we are all now vulnerable to prefrontal cortical atrophy as our reward pathway has become the dominant driver of our lives.”  Dr. Anna Lembke, Dopamine Nation

And that’s real bad news, because it means we are no longer in control of our behavior. We’re no longer using our prefrontal cortex, that part of the brain so highly developed in humans that allows us to think and plan, but are slaves to our hijacked reward pathways, switching from one source of empty stimulation to the next, not getting anything worthwhile done, not chasing after our dreams or accomplishing our goals.

We’ve become dopamine zombies, slaves to our technology and chemical crutches.

How do we overcome this issue? By getting rid of our addictive substances and timewasters, and actively engaging in the beneficial but less stimulating things we know we should be doing.

“Remember and remind yourself of a phrase favored by Epictetus: ‘persist and resist.’ Persist in your efforts. Resist giving in to distraction, discouragement, or disorder.” – Ryan Holiday

Get rid of Distraction, Lean into Discomfort and Do the Hard Thing (Weaning and Leaning)

The way we get from lazy and comfortable to action-oriented and badass? We need to wean ourselves off of our comfortable, dopaminergic distractions, and lean into those things that are tough that we know we need to be doing. It’s a simple concept, but it can be difficult to really put into place effectively.

I don’t need to tell you what your time wasters are, I’m sure you know them well. Time to start weaning yourself off of them. The most effective method is to just cut them out entirely – no scrolling on any social media apps, no Youtube, no Netflix or gaming. No distracting yourself at all – I want you to be raw-dogging reality. It’s a shock to the system, but it’s effective and there’s no wiggle room to cheat.

If you can’t imagine giving everything up, at least cut out the biggest ones, and save the smaller ones for an hour in the evening the first week, 45 minutes the second week, 30 minutes the 3rd week, cut out completely the last week.

As for drugs? Many in this community don’t use any at all, including caffeine. For those that do, try to cut them out entirely for this month – no booze, no nicotine, no adderall, no pills, no kratom, none of that. I’ll make an exception for caffeine as it’s pretty mild and actually helps to increase dopamine receptor expression, but don’t be pounding energy drinks every two hours.

If your only chemical vice is a bit of coffee each day, cut back on the amount the first couple weeks and then abstain completely the second half of the month, or the last week.

If this is too painful for you, well… Toughen the hell up, buttercup. You want to become a semen retention badass but can’t wait till the evening to engage in your time wasters? Dig deep, get in touch with your manly side, and make it happen!

After you’ve cut your dopamine depletors out or reduced them and moved them to the evening, you’ll have some free time on your hands. Now comes the leaning into part of the practice. What is it you know you should be doing, but that brings up some internal resistance to doing it? Whatever that is, do that thing right now! 

That feeling of resistance should be your cue that whatever is causing said feeling is your new mission. “The Obstacle is the Way”, as Ryan Holiday titled his book on stoicism. That feeling of resistance is your call to arms, the rallying cry to go make things happen. Anyone who does cold showers knows this feeling well. Anyone who has tried to talk to that cute gal over there knows this feeling well. Shit, anyone who has tried to clean their room is familiar with this feeling.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it? The second you feel that feeling, go do that thing without even thinking about it. You don’t have your time wasters to distract you, so what else is there to do?

Just take a second and imagine how different your life would be if, starting today, you didn’t shirk from the essential-but-uncomfortable, but instead attacked head on. Think of how much you could get done today… Think about how much you could get done in a month… Now, imagine if you have been doing things this way for years! 

Yeah, it’s safe to say your life would be very different and undoubtedly much better. You’d scoff at the notion of constantly suckling on the teet of whatever your vices currently are.

Make a list each night before bed of the top 3-5 things you need to get done the next day. Don’t wait until the morning to make the list, have that bad boy ready to go. Then, each time you accomplish a task, cross it off the list. Making the physical list and crossing it off is key to this process. Each time you complete a goal and cross it off the list, guess what? Instant dopamine release – you feel a sense of accomplishment at completing the task (plus some relief thrown in for good measure), and that dopamine release gives you energy and motivation to accomplish the next task. 

It’s a vicious cycle of productive badassery.

Now, you can approach your productive mornings in two different ways. One way is “worst first” – you start your day doing the thing that is gonna be the biggest pain in your ass. With that out of the way, the rest of your manly duties seem much easier. If you’re one of those “fire in the belly” guys, this method may be for you.

I am many things, but a hard-charging, Type A personality I am not. I prefer to start with the smaller things and move up the ladder. The disadvantage here is things become progressively more difficult as I cross off my to-dos, but the upside is I get some small, easy wins which help me build momentum to tackle The Big Baddies. However, both energy and will-power are finite resources, so you have to be strategic about this method. Don’t drain yourself accomplishing 6 smaller tasks and then have no energy to do that 1 big thing you really needed to get done that day – I’ve done that more than I care to admit.

No matter which method you choose, and neither is better than the other, you are now setting yourself up for success in life by training your brain to get dopamine from accomplishing goals, instead of from mindless time wasters or using substances.

Now, it must be noted that in the beginning, the dopamine released from accomplishing small tasks or goals won’t be nearly as big as that released from things like gaming, social media, nicotine, booze, marijuana, etc, etc. If it were, pretty much everyone would easily accomplish their goals off the bat. Hang in there, it will get better.

And it should be noted that the more you allow yourself to spend time on these other highly addictive time wasters, well… The less enjoyment you’ll get out of doing the things you know you need to be doing.

At the risk of repeating myself too often, moving your time wasters to the end of the day and limiting the amount spent on them is a great beginning strategy, but if you really want to get the most out of this month, you should cut them out completely. If you don’t think you can give them up completely from the get-go, start by saving the time wasters for an hour in the evening the first week, a half hour in the second, and then give them up entirely the last two weeks.

This will give your brain time to literally rewire itself – in the wake of blasting your dopamine receptors 24/7 from highly stimulating bullshit, they will re-sensitize enough so that you actually come to enjoy not just adulting, but all the other badass stuff you really want and need to be doing.

And once you reach that point, this won’t be a struggle, it’ll be your new way of life.

“Every conquering temptation represents a new fund of moral energy. Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before.” WB Yeats

Pressing on the Pain Side

What if I told you I regularly engaged in a grueling practice that was difficult, increased bodily inflammation, caused oxidative stress, left me sore for days, increased blood pressure and heart rate during the activity, increased metabolic waste products, was toxic to muscle cells and even caused tears in my muscles themselves? 

Other times I deprive my body of nutrients and fuel for extended periods. Sometimes I force myself to endure bouts of extreme heat, while other times I suffer through periods of immersing myself in intensely cold water.

What if I told you that all of the above practices, while harmful in the short term, actually not only improve my health over time, but also raise my hedonic set point, meaning I’m happier at baseline?

As I’m sure you’ve figured out, I was talking about exercise, fasting, deliberate hyperthermia and cold exposure. These are practices that cause acute stress that leads to an increase in overall robustness, which is great for physical health. Something that is often overlooked is that these things are also powerful means to improve your mood, motivation, and energy levels. 

Your hedonic setpoint is essentially your base level of happiness. Some people just seem to be constantly happy, and the rest of us can’t stand those people. Other people are perpetual curmudgeons, the pessimistic Scrooges of the world. The happier you are, the higher your hedonic setpoint, meaning you walk around feeling pretty good the majority of the time. The grumpier you are, the lower your setpoint – you gotta get lots of things going right for you to start feeling good about your life.

Your hedonic setpoint is somewhat malleable – take addiction for example. You take your Average Joe with a normal life who derives pleasure from a multitude of different things – socializing, his dog, his hobbies, and if he’s lucky, maybe even his job. Then you get him hooked on drugs, let’s say cocaine. Cocaine releases so much dopamine that Average Joe gets high as a kite, and so he buys more the next weekend, and more the next weekend.

From The Oatmeal

After a while the only thing bringing him any pleasure is cocaine, and a bit further down the road, even cocaine won’t bring Average Joe any pleasure but will only delay the withdrawals. Compared to the massive surge of dopamine released from cocaine, everything else seems boring in comparison.

Ol Joey has succeeded in making his hedonic setpoint so very low that it doesn’t matter what he does – he can’t experience pleasure. The good news is that after enough sobriety, he can raise his setpoint back up to something close to what it was before his addiction.

We may not be cocaine addicts, but we are addicted to all these other little dopamine wasters – social media, gaming, binging on Netflix, eating takeout chinese food, etc. And the cumulative effect of all these smaller things is very similar to if we’d become addicted to a drug – we become less happy at baseline and are constantly bouncing from one source of empty stimulation to the next, never feeling happy on our own, never satisfied, and rarely doing anything worthwhile.

Now, and this is key, the reverse of this is also true. Put yourself through deliberate exposure to discomfort, and you’ll begin to raise your hedonic setpoint, meaning you get more and more pleasure out of your day to day life.

Imagine you found yourself bedridden in a hospital for a month, and for the sake of argument, let’s just pretend the food was bland and you had no access to friends, family, phones, tvs, games, even books. Just you, your mind, those fluorescent lights and that eggshell-white wall over there. 

Sounds awful, right? 

Now imagine how great it would be once you made it out of that hospital, back into your normal life. The same old food you used to eat would taste amazing, you’d be stoked to interact with your friends again, and of course, it’d be great getting back to your hobbies and toys.

The good news is that we don’t have to be bedridden in a dystopian hospital in order to make our normal life more enjoyable – we just have to cut out the sources of empty stimulation and, simultaneously, actively and systematically embrace what is uncomfortable.

In other words, we have to embrace the suck.

I know, I just told you to give up on your comforting-but-draining timewasters, and now I’m telling you to make things worse by actively seeking out the uncomfortable… But just stick with me here.

Exercise increases all of our feel-good neurotransmitters, including dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin, as well as endocannabinoids and endorphins; cold immersion causes a huge and long-lasting rise in dopamine and norepinephrine, giving us energy and motivation; sauna use releases dynorphin, a chemical that makes us feel acute discomfort but actually resensitizes the brain to its own endorphins; and fasting increases dopamine, as well as serotonin and norepinephrine.

By pressing hard on the side of pain and discomfort, we are rewarded with an immediate rebound of pleasure. When we give up our addictions and plow headfirst into accomplishing our everyday tasks, we don’t get quite the same immediate reward, but the two combined over time allows us to raise our hedonic setpoint. 

That means you will be happier each and every day, whether things are going your way or not.

So if you give up your junk timewasters, it might hurt today. It might be boring tomorrow. It may feel like a sludge through the doldrums for the next week or two. But by golly, stick with it, because in 2 weeks, you’ll start enjoying the little things in life again, and in 4-8 weeks, you’ll find yourself feeling happy for no damn reason most days. And this process will be sped up if you’re able to actively push on the pain side with these more concentrated practices, specifically exercise, fasting, and cold/heat exposure.

Giving up on our cheap, empty addictions is the road to recovery; actively embracing the uncomfortable makes that road a whole lot easier and shorter.

Check out Part 2 here

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Yoga Nidra – Self-Hypnosis to Overcome Issues w/ Semen Retention

Lately I’ve been diving deep into my yoga nidra practice and it is paying dividends, in semen retention and beyond. Thought I’d share my thoughts on this practice.

Yoga nidra means “yogic sleep”, and it’s based off of an ancient tantric technique known as nyasa. Nidra is a powerful method of deep relaxation combined with a type of hypnotic auto-suggestion. You listen to any one of a number of pre-recorded scripts that allow you to drop down into, and stay in, the hypnagogic state – that state in between the waking state and sleep. You may be familiar with this state – as you’re drifting off to sleep at night, sometimes you’re in this odd place where half of your mind is already dreaming about making some pancakes while unicycling, with the other half of your mind still awake and thinking, Huh, weird… It’s the twilight zone of the mind.

One of the features that distinguishes yoga nidra from other non-sleep deep rest (NSDR) techniques like hypnosis is the inclusion of something called a sankalpa, or resolve. You use this resolve to affect a big, major change in your life. Generally you want to think big here – even changes such as “I want to lose weight” or “I want to quit smoking” are usually too small. However, for those of us constantly struggling to stop masturbating to porn, or those of us struggling with wet dreams, we can permit a smaller, more targeted sankalpa for now.

What I’m proposing here is the use of yoga nidra and its sankalpa or resolve to help us start changing the mind and personality on a subconscious level. It’s generally well known that it’s difficult to change the mind with the mind – that’s why in yoga, we don’t start with intense meditation, we start with the body through yoga postures and the breath through breathing practices. The postures and breathing practices not only induce a state of calm alertness through which meditation becomes much easier, but changes the whole body/mind complex over time as well, gradually leading to a deeper understanding of ourselves and life in general.

The best part? There’s practically zero work involved, beyond lying down and listening to a short 10-20 minute script.

For your sankalpa, you can do smaller, more targeted resolutions if you’re really struggling with specific things. State them as if you already have fixed the problem, for example, “I am free from wet dreams” or “I no longer experience wet dreams”, or “I am free from porn and masturbation” or “I no longer indulge in porn and masturbation”. However, it’d be better to say something along the lines of, “I am a master of Brahmacharya/celibacy” or “I am in complete control of my sexual energy”.

These “big picture” resolves will not only fix the smaller issue you’re targeting, such as overcoming wet dreams, but will also help realign your whole mind, attitude and outlook to help fix other problems as well.

It’s important that your resolve be repeated with deep feelings of will, faith and conviction. Don’t just meekly repeat these resolves – feel the truth of them deep within your being. Make sure to not switch up your resolve, either – think about it ahead of time, pick one resolve that you really need to make, and then stick with that resolve until you see the positive changes in your life and the bad habit is eradicated.

In order to get the full benefits, you need to do this practice regularly. I tend to do mine in the afternoon around 2 or 3, when there’s a natural lull in energy and I’m feeling like I need either a nap or an espresso, or before bed. Every day would be best, but shoot for at least 4-5 times a week. Feel free to do it twice a day as well – at 10-20 minutes a session, it won’t take up much time. Try not to be too full after a big meal, and also be sure that you aren’t all jacked up on caffeine or other substances – you need to be able to dip down into a deep parasympathetic state.

In short, treat it like you would any other meditation practice.

I’ve been doing this practice regularly for about two months now, and the benefits have been tremendous. I get amazing sleep pretty much every night, I feel well-rested and relaxed throughout the day, it has sped up learning and recovery from the gym, and it’s greatly improved my meditation practice. My resolve isn’t retention related, but I can already see the change that it is bringing to my life in relation to my sankalpa.

I also experienced my first out-of-body experience because of it, but it happened only once and very much by chance, so I can give you no promises there.

Back in Part 3 – Strengthening Your Aura and Personal Magnetism, I spoke about how increased heart-rate variability, or HRV, does wonders to improve the coherence/feel/flavor of your aura, based off of some very interesting research from The HeartMath Institute. I used my Aura ring to measure my HRV during two different sessions of yoga nidra, and the results were pretty impressive.

In the first session my HRV increased by a modest 10 or so points, but in the second image, which was from yesterday, it quadrupled! Granted my beginning HRV was pretty low – I had to get up two hours earlier than usual and it was leg day at the gym, so I was feeling pretty beat. But regardless, the increase in HRV and the ramifications it has for one’s aura – and overall wellbeing – should be reason enough to begin incorporating this into your semen retention practice.

Check out the free app Insight Timer for hundreds of yoga nidra scripts, or just look on youtube. I generally stick to ones that are 15-30 minutes in length, although they range from 10 minutes to an hour or more. I haven’t explored many on youtube so I can’t vouch for any of them, but feel free to check them out for yourself.

These NSDR protocols have a lot of science behind them and have many benefits beyond just relaxation. You can use them after an intense study session to help encode the information you were going over, to help encode specific movement patterns (think learning a new lift at the gym, some new grappling technique in jiu jitsu, a new skateboarding/snowboarding trick, some sick dance moves, etc), to recover faster from workouts or to catch up on lost sleep. Check out Dr. Andrew Huberman’s second podcast episode to learn more.

Find one or two that you really like and stick with them, as your body and mind will grow accustomed to the person’s voice, the specific routine used and the flow of the practice. Here are the three I use most often –

https://insig.ht/gnz9TC0nYjb – 16 minute

https://insig.ht/9XXHkvWnYjb – 19 minute

https://insig.ht/Td67Wm3nYjb – 20 minute

Those interested can check out the book Yoga Nidra by Swami Satyananda Saraswati. Further information on nidra can be found on the website for the same company that publishes the book, yogamag.net.

“Sankalpa is a Sanskrit word which can be translated as resolve or resolution. It is an important stage of yoga nidra and a powerful method of reshaping your personality and direction in life along positive lines. If you know what you wish to achieve in life, sankalpa can be the creator of your destiny.

“The sankalpa takes the form of a short mental statement which is impressed on the subconscious mind when it is receptive and sensitive to autosuggestion during yoga nidra… The resolve you make at the beginning of the practice is like sowing a seed, and the resolve at the end is like irrigating it.

“When the mind is clear, the sankalpa grows very well. If you first prepare the bed with fertilizer and manure, remove the weeds and grass, and then sow the seed, the plant will grow better… If you prepare the mind and sow the seed properly, then it will grow in your life and become a powerful directive.

“For success, the sankalpa needs to be planted with strong willpower and feeling. It should be planted when the mind is relaxed and ready to accept and absorb it. Such a state occurs during yoga nidra.

“Once the seed of sankalpa is planted deep in the subconscious, it gathers the vast forces of the mind in order to bring about its fruition. This deep and powerful seed will eventually manifest itself again and again at a conscious level and bring about changes in your personality and your life… This resolution must be backed by deeply ingrained willpower in order to be carried through… If you want to transform your life pattern, that can be done by the power of the sankalpa made during yoga nidra. If there is a negative tendency or habit in your life and you want to correct it, that can also be done through a positive sankalpa.” – Yoga Nidra, by Swami Satyananda Saraswati

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Why You Continue to Fail, Pt. 2

See Part 1 here.

Poor Tracking and Management

The famous management specialist (apparently such things exist) Peter Drucker said, “What doesn’t get measured, doesn’t get managed.” 

If you aren’t journaling every day and tracking your daily habits, emotions, activities, practices or sexual energy-boosting herb intake, and then one day you relapse, how are you going to know what caused it? 

Don’t chalk it up to just weakness – it could have been one of many variables that caused your relapse. For one person, they’re feeling shitty about something that happened earlier in the week. For another, it was their second week taking too powerful of a sexual energy-boosting compound and they couldn’t handle the energy they’d built up. For yet another, they had caffeine that day when they usually don’t.

If you’re struggling with relapses, start tracking what’s going on in your life. It doesn’t have to take much – just a brief synopsis at the end of each day describing what you did, where your mood and energy was at, if anything really good or bad happened, if you were tempted and what you did about it, and if any new practice or substance was added to your protocol. Just list it out in bullet points. At the end of the week, do a quick review and sum things up for how the week went.

It’s simple but pays dividends.

Things Going Too Well

For a lot of addicts, when the going gets tough, the tough get, well… To relapsing. What many folks don’t realize is that almost as often, an addict can also get into trouble when everything is going right.

Many people look at addicts and they say, “Oh, of course he relapsed. He just lost his job and his wife left him.” That makes sense to us. What doesn’t make sense is when everything is going right, and that guy just got a new promotion, and then he relapses. “He had it all going for him, how could he mess up now??”

Most people don’t realize that relapses can occur not just when things go bad, but also when things are going great. Why? Because these people are on a dopamine high that makes them feel invincible, and it makes them want more of that high. So they add a little more fuel to their fire with drinking, with their drug of choice, or gambling, or relapsing with a sex addiction.

Or in our case, with porn and masturbation. Gentlemen, let’s face it, except for the few people who are using semen retention as a powerful life hack, most of us are terribly addicted to porn and masturbation. 

Beware of the high highs. Celebrate your wins, but when they start stacking up, which they inevitably will… Keep your guard. For those interested in more info, check out Professor Andrew Huberman’s podcast with Dr. Anna Lembke on defeating addiction. It’s a banger, as are all of his podcasts.

Not Embracing the Feminine

This point might ruffle your feathers – if it does, you’re exactly who needs to hear it.

Why are men attracted to women, and vice versa? Largely because we are two halves of the same whole, and being around the other half, and especially having mind-blowing sex with them, makes us feel complete. The problem is, when we’re not around them or bumpin’ uglies, we’re left feeling incomplete, and before long, that urge to seek feminine energy drives us back out there in pursuit of it. Or, more likely, just another visit to pornhub and another crusty sock. Back to day 1.

Call it testosterone seeking estrogen, call it yang seeking yin, call it the call of the wild for all I care. If you’re a male heterosexual with a heartbeat, you naturally crave the feminine – period.

Here’s what most men don’t realize – you can find that same feminine energy elsewhere, and, dare I say, even cultivate it within. No, it won’t make you girly – what it will make you is so cool, calm and collected around women, and so not needy, that they will be quite curious as to what you have going on. And since you’ve been cultivating all this sexual energy, you may just find they are also quite attracted to you, because you already have ample supplies of that yang good good.

The eminent psychologist Carl Jung came up with the concepts of anima and animus as they relate to the subconscious. The anima is the hidden feminine side of the ego in men, while the animus is the hidden male aspect within women. 

The anima goes through 4 stages of development within a man – Eve, Helen, Mary and Sophia. Eve is the first stage of development, or underdevelopment as it should be thought of, with Sophia being the final, highest development. As a man grows, he is supposed to develop and fully integrate his anima, going from looking at women strictly as objects of desire and providers of nourishment, security and love (Eve), then to women as capable of intelligence and worldly success even though they may not be virtuous (Helen), to women being able to achieve success and possess virtue, even if all of them don’t (Mary), and finally to women as being fully developed and complete beings in themselves, capable of success and being both virtuous and flawed, just as we men are – as women as our complementary opposites. 

It’s sad that many guys can’t seem to get past looking at women as purely objects of desire, as mere things they can use to get off with, as conquests, or even as a substitute for “mother”, seeking that comfort and nourishment they used to get as children from their moms. Every girl or woman you meet is a complete individual, with their own amazing qualities, their own flaws they’re likely working on, their own hopes and dreams and fears, just like every one of us guys. Developing your anima to the level of Sophia takes spending a lot of time around women, as friends, family and lovers, and trying to see and understand this for yourself.

It’s important to seek out the feminine in life, not just in the company of women, but in other ways as well. Go out in nature more, go hiking, camping, backpacking, mountain biking, trail running, swimming in lakes, rivers and oceans. It’s called Mother Nature for a reason – because she provides all that we need to get by in life. Sure, drop any one of us off in the woods and we probably wouldn’t survive more than a week or two, but this is how we got by for millennia and in fact continue to get by, even if we aren’t in the thick of nature in daily life. We’re still dependent on the animals and plants She provides for us, the very oxygen we breathe comes from forests all around the world.

Two more things I’d like to add, most important of which is to take your yin-boosting herbs! This is the easiest way to get that feminine yin energy, from herbs like goji berries, rehmannia, dong quai or he shou wu. Jing Herbs makes a nice product called Restore the Yin that would be well suited to this. As you know, these herbs aren’t estrogenic or feminizing in any way, they just help to build sexual energy while also cooling off some of that yang heat.

The other is to practice things like generosity, patience, compassion and loving kindness. These are traditionally thought of as more “womanly” virtues. Just think of a mother and her newborn – you can bet your ass she’s experiencing these feelings in abundance, every single day of her child’s life.

Practice giving with others, and I don’t mean just donating to charity. Lend a hand to someone who needs it, be there to listen to friends who are struggling, help your girlfriend out with some chores or yard work or whatever. Take her up to your room, go down on her and get her off, and then don’t have sex with her or ask for head in return. 

Be patient with others – we’re all flawed. Have compassion for those flaws. When you see someone misbehaving or acting a fool, instead of getting upset with them, have compassion that their minds are so disturbed and they are so overwhelmed by their emotions. And just be kind to others, it costs you nothing and if anything just boosts your good karma.

Again, if you’re triggered from hearing that you should get in touch with your feminine side, you’re probably the person who needs to hear it most. Nothing is less manly than being afraid of the feminine.

Nothing to Fill the Hole Left by PMO

If you take away all the time and energy you put into porn and masturbation, or into chasing women, and you don’t have something left to fill that gap, well… You’re almost guaranteed to relapse.

You guys should already know what healthy habits to replace PMO with. Lift weights, go for runs or hikes, start working on that project you’ve been thinking of, nerd out on something, journal, pick up a new hobby, or learn an instrument. I’ve never met a person, female or otherwise, that doesn’t give props to a person who can play or is learning to play an instrument.

Find your passions! It’s not always the easiest, but it can and should be done. In Steven Kotler’s latest book The Art of Impossible, he outlines his “Passion Recipe”. It’s four simple steps to take in order to find what you may be passionate about. In the name of brevity, those interested can check out the formula here.

Putting Sex and Attention From Women on a Pedestal 

This one’s a classic – putting the pussy on a pedestal. If all you care about is the female form, whether that means jacking off to it multiple times a day or spending every weekend chasing it down at the bars, how the hell are you ever gonna break this habit?

Sex can be one of the finest pleasures in life. Women are wonderful and really can enrich your life. And women’s bodies can be sexy as hell. But guess what champ? There is so much more to life than chasing tail. 

We live in a pretty fucked up world, let’s face it. The cards are stacked against us retainers. Sex is crammed down our throats in movies, tv, video games, books, billboards, even the real world. There are plenty of attractive women out there wearing skimpy clothes every day, and don’t get me started on girls in yoga pants. 

And porn? It used to be you’d at least have to go to the corner store to buy a porno mag or steal your dads – now it’s at the touch of a button.

But just like women are programmed almost from birth (looking at you Disney) to be obsessed with finding the perfect man to fall in love with and to have that fairytale wedding, we’re programmed from birth to chase after sex. It’s a natural urge of course, but we’re taught a real man is a player, one who gets all the ladies. And we’re constantly having hyper-sexualized images of women shoved in our faces.

What’s a guy to do?

Realize the world we live in is a trap. Realize there is so much more out there for you than just getting laid. Realize masturbating alone in your room to whatever weird porn you’re into is pretty damn pathetic, if it’s a constant, unbreakable habit.

Once you’ve had a fair amount of sex, you realize that it’s just that – sex. It’s just another one of those fine pleasures out there. It’s satisfying, at times amazingly so, but.. So is a nice steak dinner. So is a backpacking trip with your closest friends. Accomplishing big goals is very satisfying. Transforming your body through proper diet and exercise is very rewarding.

And porn? It’s really not that great, is it? A frenzy of friction and staring at women on a screen you’ll never meet, only to be left feeling empty and shameful.

Sex and women? They can be great, they can be amazing, but they are nothing to obsess over. And let’s face it, sometimes women and even sex can be a drag. “Can’t live with em, can’t live without em”.

It goes back to your passions – what else interests you out there? Figure that out and start pursuing those things. Look for your dopamine highs in healthier ways.

Just a Rat in a Cage

You guys know that song by The Smashing Pumpkins, Bullet With Butterfly Wings? It has pretty spot on lyrics for us guys practicing semen retention.

The world is a vampire, sent to drain

Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames

And what do I get for my pain?

Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game

(chorus)

Even though I know – I suppose I’ll show

All my cool and cold – like old Job

Despite all my rage I’m still just a rat in a cage (2x)

Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved

Despite all my rage I’m still just a rat in a cage

The world sure can be a vampire sent to drain, and the porn and sex industry absolutely is vampiric. Maybe I’m showing my age here with this song.. But the point is that you need to consider whether you have “rat in a cage” syndrome.

In a classic study on addiction, they set up two cages for rats to live in. Both cages had an option for rats to self-administer a cocaine solution. How the rats were able to self-administer cocaine, alas, I do not know, but I’m picturing a rat version of Tony Montana right now.

Cage number one was a “non-enriched environment”, meaning there were no other rats, no toys, nothing but a food bowl, water bowl, and the method of self-administering cocaine. The other cage was an “enriched environment” – it had other rats to play with, a bunch of rat toys, as well as plants to simulate nature, as well as the same water bowl, food bowl and cocaine. 

The results? Rats in the non-enriched cages administered waaaaay more cocaine than those in the enriched environment. The rats in the enriched environment would still occasionally partake, but only one rat in the enriched cage was found to be a “high drug-taker” – I guess he was the partier of the bunch.

The implications for those of us practicing semen retention should be obvious – if you have nothing else exciting going on in your life, what’s to keep you from “self-administering” all that porn and masturbation you’re trying to eliminate? After all, cocaine and PMO affect the same neurotransmitters and reward circuits in the brain.

So what are you going to do to enrich your cage, brothers? Don’t be just another rat in a cage.

Where Does Your Self-Worth Come From?

This is also about finding your self worth. That’s something only you can do, but for starters, realize it ain’t “out there”. No “thing” you get, no goal you accomplish, no amount of fame you acquire will make you truly happy. That’s why middle-aged men who acquire all they ever wanted have their mid-life crisis. That’s why so many celebrities are at best attention-seeking partiers and at worst, wind up addicted to drugs and committing suicide. All that fame and all they accomplished didn’t make them happy. 

Newsflash – happiness ain’t out there! It’s to be cultivated within. It starts by loving yourself. How do you love yourself? Again, I can’t answer that completely for you, but you could start by being the guy that you’d look up to. Who you would look up to, not who society says you should look up to. A guy who likes what he likes and fuck what other people say. A guy who sticks to his principles – speaking of which, what are your principles? A guy who doesn’t need others’ approval because he already knows he’s the shit. He knows what he wants and likes and he goes after it, no excuses.

That’s usually not something you can flip on like a switch, so spend time developing these qualities and outlooks.

I’m in my early thirties preaching to a bunch of dudes on the internet about yoga, tantra, herbs and self-help. Yoga is not manly here in the west, but do I care? Nope. I don’t care about preaching about the virtues of Taoist and Ayurvedic herbalism either. 

Why not? For one, this stuff works. It works incredibly well and has been honed by gurus, masters, ascetics and adepts for millenia. If you put time into the practices and apply these principles, it will transform every aspect of your life.

The other reason I don’t mind touting the benefits of yoga, herbs and tantric sex is because I don’t place my self-worth in what other people think. I like and love myself*,* and it’s not based off of what a single other person thinks of me, especially people on the internet. It’s not me being cocky, I’m as flawed as anyone, but I’ve done enough digging to know myself, to have my principles, to know what I like and to pursue that, to hell with what anyone else thinks.

I already dig myself, and no one can take that away from me. It also means I don’t go around seeking other people’s approval. You don’t like me? Makes no difference to me, that cup is already full, my friend.

As the ancient Greeks were found of saying, temet nosce – Know thyself.

I try to do good deeds, I make sure to be nice to others, especially those who have less than me, I spend time doing the things that I want to do, and I give value, respect and encouragement to others. 

I have a “buddy” who is constantly knocking others down to make himself feel better. He’s not a complete prick, but he is quick to make fun of people, whether he knows them or not, to make himself look and feel better. It’s sad, because everyone sees right through it. They see how insecure he is about himself and it does not win him any points, with guys or girls. I don’t remember the last time he had a girlfriend that lasted more than a couple months, and these were few and far between.

I have another friend, a real, actual friend, who is always building people up. He doesn’t kiss ass and he’ll tease you if it’s something harmless, but he’s quick to give value. He’ll help you out if you need help. He’s there for you if you need to talk. He’s a genuinely honest and giving guy, with a wide open heart. He’s quick to give genuine compliments. He knows that there’s no shortage of value to give, and while he doesn’t do it for these reasons, all that value giving just makes him even cooler, even more likeable, even more of a man. Not some weak, insecure man-child who has to make others look bad in order to make himself feel a bit better.

Interestingly, he’s into semen retention, jing-boosting herbs and all sorts of other self-improvement activities too. Quite popular with the ladies too, I might add.

Be that second guy. Give value to others. Be a nice, helpful dude. Find out what you’re into and pursue it, and fuck what anyone else says. Knowing yourself, pursuing your interests and being a good person, boring as it may sound, is what is genuinely attractive to others. It’s also the absolute key to confidence. You’ll have way more friends and trust me, the ladies will notice too. 

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The Paradox of the Libido

What is our biggest obstacle to progress on the path of semen retention? Our unchecked libido. Our overwhelming need for release is what causes us to spill our seed, every time. It’s what drives us to spend so much time seeking sexual pleasure, sometimes through the pursuit of women, but oftentimes it comes in the form of mindless porn-scrolling and masturbation. 

If the libido is our biggest enemy, what is our biggest ally towards progress on the path of retention? Paradoxically enough, it’s also our libido! 

“How can this be?” I hear you say. As writer on all things stoicism Ryan Holiday puts it, the obstacle is the way. In fact, the libido is the source of all our fuel for self-evolution, and make no mistake, the only goal of true retention is conscious, directed self-evolution.

Libido – friend or foe?

It’s often better to simplify, simplify, simplify, but in this case, let’s take the concept of libido and expand upon it a bit. To most of us, the libido simply means our sexual desire. Possibly the most well known of all psychologists, Sigmund Freud, coined the term libido. He defined it as, “the energy, regarded as a quantitative magnitude… of those instincts which have to do with all that may be comprised under the word ‘love’.” According to wikipedia, he “also explained that it is analogous to hunger, the will to power, and so on insisting that it is a fundamental instinct that is innate in all humans.”

Freud’s disciple and world renowned psychologist Carl Jung goes one step further, identifying it as the totality of psychic energy, not limiting it to just sexual desire. “It is the energy that manifests itself in the life process and is perceived subjectively as striving and desire.” In this sense, it can be thought of as the psychic desire to achieve, the psychic desire for better and more. For most of us, this desire for achievement rarely goes beyond sexual desire or the desire for status, power and wealth.

This “totality of psychic energy, striving for and desiring better and more”, is very analogous to the concept of kundalini within Indian yogic schools of thought. This kundalini energy lies dormant at the base of the spine, and no matter what style of yoga you practice, and whether you know it or not, the goal is the same – to rouse and awaken this sleeping energy and move it up the spine, through all the chakras until it connects with and comes to reside in the 7th, highest chakra. This is the end goal of all spiritual pursuits. Your goal may not be spiritual enlightenment but trust me when I say that no matter your goal, you want this psycho-sexual-spiritual energy working for you, not against you.

Alchemical painting of a tamed, libidinal serpent

Most of us are essentially walking around like spiritual zombies. Our kundalini lies dormant and our chakras remain in a sad state, operating at a bare minimum. Look around here in the west – we’re all fat, cranky, stressed, tired, lazy and grumpy, never mind all the needless masturbation. If we can’t keep up our physical bodies, which we all can see and agree exist, how do you think our energetic/spiritual bodies look? Most of us don’t even believe in such things. 

And as a quick aside, I’ve said before that if the concepts of chakras and kundalini turn you off, just use them as metaphors. Whether they exist or not is irrelevant, all we care about is learning to tame, control, harness and build up our sexual energy, right? Just do the practices and the results will follow.

Harnessing the Libido

So this libido, this kundalini, this psychic energy that desires “better and more experiences” lies dormant. It actually isn’t completely dormant, it’s just barely operating.. After all, we all do have a libido. That energy, for most of us, never makes it past the second or third chakra. Most of us are stuck operating somewhere in the limbo of the first three chakras. The first chakra is concerned with survival; the second with sense of self/ego and the desire for sex; and the third is concerned with personal power, status, and your place in the world. You can look at the chakras as stages of life or levels of maturity – most of us never make it past wanting more sex, status and power for ourselves.

Makes sense, doesn’t it? Our first concerns are simply to survive. After we’re comfortable on that front, we generally want to go out and make it in the world, and hopefully find a nice lady or two or ten to pair up with. Some of us never want to settle down and just want more and more women. We are obsessed with sex, status, wealth and power – that’s not hard to see is it?

Imagine the central channel and the chakras as a hose with a very powerful stream of water flowing through it. This hose has 7 junctions where water can flow out, and our goal is to get it to flow fully out of all 7 junctions. Unfortunately, most of us never make it past the 2nd, maybe the 3rd junction, and the water isn’t flowing, it’s a mere trickle. See, that channel where the energy is supposed to flow through has blockages. Those junctions are shut, hardly open at all. What energy does flow through this channel is a far cry from the amount that should, and it rarely makes it past the first three chakras because we rarely act from a place of higher consciousness.

Most of us are never concerned with anything other than “me, mine, and those people I can fuck or use to further myself.” Sad but true. Chakras or no chakras, this is what the majority of people obsess over.

This is why the libido isn’t actually the enemy. It’s the most powerful tool we all have for self-evolution and for achieving all of our desires. The problem is for most of us, our libidinal energy is stuck. Our libido never makes it past our cock and balls. Our libido is stuck here, and that’s why most of us are obsessed with sex, finding more women to conquer and with hoarding more wealth, status or whatever.

Further, that energy that is flowing is a mere trickle of what it should be. Whereas if the channels were cleared, and the junctions opened, and the energy increased.. Oh boy, it’s a whole different ball game.

Your libido is NOT the reason you can’t stop jacking off – it’s because you haven’t learned to increase and circulate this energy!

While a bad idea in the beginning, as you progress on the path of retention, you actually want to increase your libido, because once you’re able to move it past these lower centers that are only concerned with sex and egoic needs, you’re able to truly make some very satisfying and rewarding progress in life. At the very least, you don’t want to be squandering your sexual energy on porn and frivolous masturbation.

And guess what? If you’re still wanting to make it in the world, gain some status, lose your virginity or find a partner, you still need to harness this libidinal energy! There’s nothing wrong at all with these things in and of themselves, it’s just when people get STUCK there and they never progress past it that it turns into an issue.

Keep that in mind as you practice semen retention – these practices, even ones that seemingly would have no effect on raising this sexual energy up to higher levels, are all intended to awaken your chakras and raise the libidinal kundalini energy up as high as it can go. All the practices are designed for conscious self-evolution, not just to become an enlightened being, but also to be used for you to achieve all your dreams and passions in life.

It’s the greatest asset we all have, so stop draining it into your crusty sock on Pornhub in your dark bedroom.

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Why You Continue to Fail, Pt. 1

What Is Failure?

What constitutes failure on the path of Semen Retention? This will vary from person to person a bit – some will consider failure to be only if they ejaculate. Others are a bit more strict – they consider failure to be even having a sexual thought about any woman they see. Others are more liberal, following something more in line with what the Taoists taught – that occasional emissions are allowed and perhaps even beneficial every once in a while according to your age and health.

For the sake of this article, failure will mean any loss of semen. Here are some common causes of failure on the path, and how to go about avoiding them.

Insufficient Transmuting 

Plain and simple, if you’re not transmuting the sexual energy you’re building up, it’s gonna find a way to be released, and that usually occurs right out your dick, whether that be a session on PornHub or a wet dream. This sexual energy also finds an outlet by causing you to have sexual thoughts, lust after hot “babes” you come across in daily life, and by having daydreams and fantasies about sex and women in general. Having sexual thoughts is much less of a waste than ejaculation, but for many it is still a slow leak.

Transmute that sexual energy! You can do this any number of ways – weight training, running, journaling, meditating, cold showers, prayer, yoga, breathing exercises, Qi Gong, reading uplifting texts, focusing on self-development, diving deep into your career, hobbies and passions – there are countless ways to transmute this energy. Make sure you’re doing at least a few of these things DAILY.

I’m personally a fan of yoga/Qi Gong techniques that have been specifically designed to transmute sexual energy. Journaling, meditating, cold showers and exercise are absolutely amazing practices to have, not just on the path of retention but also in daily life, and they are useful for transmuting sexual energy, but they do so indirectly.

Practices like spinal breathing, testicle breathing, the Microcosmic orbit meditation, vajroli mudra (kegels) and so on directly transmute sexual energy up and out of the crotch, allowing it to be used by both the body and mind for more beneficial activities.

And if your problem is wet dreams, for god sakes do your kegels! This is probably the easiest way to prevent wet dreams, by tightening up those PC muscles. I wrote a whole post on wet dreams on my website for those interested. Part 2 – Cultivation and Sublimation Basics and Part 3 – Strengthening Your Magnetism and Aura go into detail on how to begin sublimating sexual energy via yogic techniques.

Poor Libido Management

In the beginning, many guys will succumb to the libido’s temptations before understanding how to sublimate it into a force to accomplish their goals. Let’s take some time to learn how to tone down that ravenous, sexually glutinous beast within.

Increase serotonin levels. Ever heard of people going on antidepressants, particularly SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), and complaining of having no libido? I am absolutely not recommending that you go get a script written for SSRIs, but there are easy ways to naturally increase serotonin. Try out the supplements l-tryptophan or 5-HTP – both are precursors to serotonin. Reddit even has quite a few posts from guys taking 5-HTP and complaining of loss of libido. 

It’s important to make sure that these supplements are safe to take with any prescription meds you may be on, particularly any MAOIs or other antidepressants, as too much serotonin is a big no-no, as in a potential visit to the ER no-no. Same goes for certain illicit substances, especially MDMA/molly/ecstacy. Just google any drug you’re taking, prescription or otherwise, along with “serotonin syndrome” to double check that there aren’t any negative interactions. 

If you aren’t on prescription drugs, aren’t taking illicit substances and are otherwise generally healthy, consider giving it a shot. Increased serotonin may also boost your mood, reduce hunger/carb cravings, improve sleep (and dreams) and provide a feeling of overall contentment. Tryptophan can be taken 2-3 times daily, before meals, with no need to cycle. Take 5-HTP as directed on the bottle, but this one should be cycled – I wouldn’t go more than a month or two before taking an equal amount of time off. 

Both should be considered crutches, only to be used in the beginning or in a pinch until you’ve got your libido under control.

Modify your diet. Ayurvedic texts state that garlic, onions, black pepper, chili peppers or any foods from the allium family boost libido, as do most spicy foods. I’ve never made a conscious effort to remove these foods from my diet but it seems to be the consensus out of both Ayurveda and Traditional Chinese Medicine, both of which I have deep respect for, so it’s worth considering.

Consider cutting back on meat consumption – I went strict vegetarian for a month and a half once just to try it out and it drastically reduced my libido. Your results may vary, but most spiritual traditions agree that meat consumption raises libido. Makes sense – meat’s chock full of zinc, a mineral that’s essential for testosterone production.

Eat more soy products. A study titled Hypogonadism and erectile dysfunction associated with soy product consumption concluded “This case indicates that soy product consumption is related to hypogonadism and erectile dysfunction.” Granted this was a case study on just one 19 year old individual, but it showed that overconsumption of soy produced hypogonadism – essentially under production of androgens from the testicles. It also showed that hormone levels returned to normal after a year of going off a vegan diet. And this was in a 19 year old – testosterone levels at this age should be through the roof.

Another study on soy consumption showed that over consumption of soy caused “estrone and estradiol concentrations to be 4-fold increased above the upper limit of the reference range.” Again, this is a case study, so it’s only one individual. But soybeans, and therefore the products made from them, are well known to be chock full of phytoestrogens, plant compounds that act like estrogen in the human body.

For those not looking to reduce libido, small to moderate amounts of soy consumption is probably fine. I personally avoid it as we live in a world FILLED TO THE BRIM with xenoestrogens, chemicals found in nature as well as synthetic ones that act like estrogen in the body. But if you’re struggling with a rampaging libido, try eating more soy for a while, and then drop it down the road once your libido has calmed down.

Try fasting. As a libido reducer, fasting works amazingly well. Only problem is, we all love food and can’t be fasting all of the time, right? However, simple caloric restriction and intermittent fasting can be used instead of straight up fasting. 

This study concluded “Ramadan intermittent fasting might be associated with a decrease in sexual desire, frequency of sexual intercourse and serum FSH level.”

Another short study concludes, “These results imply that: short-term fasting exerts inhibitory influence on Leydig cell function via a mechanism which might involve a reduced hypothalamic and/or pituitary stimulation.” Leydig cells are responsible for the production of most of the testosterone in a man’s body. Reduced Leydig functioning -> reduced testosterone production -> reduced libido.

When are you most likely to masturbate? Right before bed? First thing in the morning? Pick up intermittent fasting and make it so that whenever you’re most likely to be choking the chicken, you’ve already been fasting for a few hours at least. Try a 24 hour fast once a week – eat a big breakfast and lunch, skip dinner, and don’t eat again till lunch the next day.

Fasting is also a great way to build mental toughness and grit.

Now this is not to say that regular intermittent fasting or occasional 24-48 hour fasts are going to demolish anyones libido or testosterone levels. For most people these kinds of habits will only help to improve hormone levels and libido in the long term, but fasting or even caloric restriction can absolutely serve as a targeted approach to libido reduction, and can be used as another powerful tool in your toolbox.

Take Sattvic/Shen-boosting Herbs

Along with increasing serotonin levels, we can look to certain herbs from Ayurveda and Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). Within Ayurveda, there are certain herbs known to increase the quality of sattva within a person – that quality within that is good, honest, peaceful, calm, noble and drawn to the spiritual side of life. This is in stark contrast to the other two “modes of existence”, rajas (passion and activity) and tamas (destruction, chaos, darkness). Most of us are perpetually stuck alternating between periods of rajas and tamas, of thoughtless activity and dull lethargy, rarely tapping into our sattvic side. 

What is PMO but an over-abundance of passion and chaos and an utter lack of a calm, peaceful mindstate?

TCM’s Shen–boosting herbs largely do the same thing.

Holy basil, also known as tulsi, is considered the most sattvic of all herbs within Ayurveda, with gotu kola and bacopa monnieri close behind. While I couldn’t find any studies showing a reduction in libido, any increase in sattvic qualities will be of huge help in the beginning of taking up the practice of retention. They’re of a huge help all of the time we’re on this path. I find tulsi to personally be the most sattvic, and it can be found in tea or concentrated extracts.

Within TCM, reishi mushroom is considered the king of all Shen-boosting substances. I couldn’t find any studies showing a decrease in libido, but it is a proven 5-alpha-reductase inhibitor – meaning it prevents the conversion of testosterone into its more powerful cousin, dihydrotestosterone, or DHT. Remember, anything that boosts Shen will help you to overcome desires and urges.

My favorite reishi products are this potent Dragon Herbs Purple Reishi Extract, or Nootropic Depot’s 8:1 Red Reishi.

Lion’s mane mushroom is another popular Shen tonic, and one which many folks claim kills their libido. It also has DHT-blocking properties. Just search Reddit for “lion’s mane + libido” for many case reports of lowered sex drive from this fungus. It’s also one of the best natural cognitive/memory enhancers out there. Search r/nootropics for more info. I recommend Nootropic Depot’s 8:1 Dual Extract Lion’s Mane.

The classic stress-reducing formula Bupleurum and Dragon Bone is one of the most commonly prescribed formulas within TCM to help manage and reduce addictions, and what is chronic PMO but a deleterious addiction? Bupleurum and Dragon Bone has a “stabilizing” effect on Shen, meaning it settles erratic emotions and urges, perfect for anyone struggling with riding the straight and narrow. It’s also the most commonly prescribed formula for wet dreams.

I prefer Jing Herbs Bupleurum and Dragon Bone powder or pills.

Anything that disrupts hormones is something I would only consider for a short-term solution, until you’re able to get your mind and libido under control. Reishi and lion’s mane mushrooms have so many benefits that it likely outweighs the slight drop in DHT, but it’d still be wise to cycle these guys. As for eating boatloads of soy… Drop that habit as soon as your libido is in check. 

Poor Habit Management

One of the best books I read in 2020 was Atomic Habits by James Clear. I’m the type of person who can really drag their feet on doing certain things. I can be very motivated about things that interest me and that I’m passionate about, but things that I need to do but don’t necessarily want to do? Yeah, I tend to dilly dally and get to it when I get to it.

That’s why Atomic Habits was such a good read for me – it gave me strategies to deal with my lazy side. One of the most useful hacks I got out of it is the concept of making habits you want/need to accomplish attractive and visible, while making bad habits unattractive and invisible. 

How does this apply to us on the Semen Retention path? This practice is mainly about one thing – not ejaculating. That’s a habit we’re trying to break, so we need to focus on making that habit unattractive and invisible. 

The easiest way to do this is to get rid of all temptations in your life. Start by unfollowing risque accounts on Instagram, Snapchat, Tik Tok and Reddit. Delete these apps if need be. Download an app that locks you out of other websites/apps if you can’t control yourself – definitely do this with Porn Hub or similar sites.

Stop hanging out with jabronies who only talk about what girls they banged or want to bang. Don’t watch movies or tv that you know have overly sexualized images of women. So… I guess just throw out your tv and netflix subscription.

Got a buddy that’s into SR? Set up a system where if either one of you fails, you owe the other person five/ten/twenty bucks. Raise the stakes for your failures! 

Don’t have an accountability buddy? If you fail you have to do 100 burpees/run 5 miles/something else extremely unattractive. Of course both using an accountability buddy and doling out self-discipline require honesty and integrity, but those come with the self-improvement territory, right?

Hang a calendar up somewhere visible and each day that you succeed in SR, put a big X or smiley face on it, then make sure, no matter what, you don’t break the chain of smilies! This was comedian Jerry Seinfeld’s method – he made sure that no matter what, he’d spend some time each day working on new material. Doesn’t matter if it sucked or not, as long as he worked on something, he’d put a big X on his visible calendar for that day and just made sure to never break a streak.

The same things apply in reverse for habits you’re trying to build – make them attractive and visible. 

Trying to get in the habit of journaling? Leave your journal out wherever you normally drink your morning cup of coffee.

Trying to hit the gym more? Keep your gym bag in your car, with pre-workout, your whey and your shaker bottle all in there and ready to go.

Make the habits you’re trying to start attractive and visible. Make the habits you’re trying to break unattractive and invisible..

Grit Training

Plain and simple, you need to toughen up. Toughness is a skill, not an inborn trait, and toughness can be trained, so start training it.

If you guys aren’t familiar with David Goggins y’all have been missing out. Not only has he competed in and won many 100+ mile races, but he is the only member of the U.S. Armed Forces to complete SEAL training (including two Hell Weeks), the U.S. Army Ranger School (where he graduated as Enlisted Honor Man) and Air Force Tactical Air Controller training. 

All this came from a shy, meek, overweight and self-proclaimed pussy. In high school he started forcing himself to wake up early before the bus and run. When he got to school he felt like a badass, knowing he’d already been up getting it.

You need to start doing the same thing. Actively put yourself through that which is uncomfortable but which you know is beneficial.

Start waking up an hour earlier each day, and use that extra hour productively.

Don’t workout? Start working out. Already workout? Take it to the next level or better yet, get out of your comfort zone and try something new like Brazilian jiu jitsu, rock climbing or mountain biking.

Eat a bowl of ice cream every night before bed? Smoke a bowl of grass before bed? Have a few beers each night while watching Netflix? Na man, cut that shit out, build some calluses on your mind.

Obviously this is something you should be applying to all aspects of your life, but you need to toughen up when it comes to your views on women and your constant need for self-pleasuring. 

Not getting enough validation from women? What do you need validation from anyone for? Where does that get you? Earn that validation by toughening the hell up and turning into a badass, and then if/when you do get validation, laugh at yourself for ever having wanted it in the first place.

You really can’t go a couple days without pleasuring yourself? You need that five minutes of shameful masturbation every. Single. Day? 

Really?

Time to start training your mind more. Time to embrace the suck. Time to trim the excess fat off your mind, and make it a lean, mean killing machine. 

Here’s how it’s done. Be mindful of your internal state at all times. You should already be doing this anyway. Notice when an urge or desire pops up to do something that is enjoyable but detrimental, and resist that urge. Likewise, being mindful, be aware of when your mind experiences resistance to doing something unpleasant but beneficial, and do it immediately. 

That’s it. 

It’s simple and straightforward, but it ain’t that easy.

Now this doesn’t mean you only apply this practice to when you get the urge to beat your meat. That’s the whole name of the game of semen retention – saying no to that urge to jack off. 

You do this mindfulness-based practice all day, every day. With everything.

You need to build momentum. You need to cut out the weeds from your mind. You need to trim the fat.

At first this will be difficult, maybe even painful. That’s ok. Are you someone who shirks the slightest discomforts needed to grow? Are you a weak little man-child that has to be spoon fed everything in life?

No! You’re aware of your shortcomings and you’re willing to put in the work needed to overcome them, to level up. 

You may fail. You may fail repeatedly. Good. Embrace failure as a good thing – it means you’re trying. Learn from these failures and build back better and stronger.

Failure is almost always a necessary requisite on the path to success, never forget that. The only thing that matters is that you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and then make it further than you did last time.

Grit and toughness is not something you’re born with, it’s something you have to train to have. Start training.

“If you are irritated by every rub, how will you ever be polished?” – Rumi

“For a man to conquer himself is the first and noblest of all victories.” – Plato

“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go their graves with the song still in them.” Henry David Thoreau

“The obstacle is the way.” – Ryan Holiday

“Resistance is the grindstone of our soul.” – Aubrey Marcus

“No man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity, for he is not permitted to prove himself.” – Seneca

“Discipline is the precondition to freedom else you are just a slave to your impulses.” – u/RaphizFR

“Don’t expect to be motivated every day to get out there and make things happen. You won’t be. Don’t count on motivation. Count on Discipline.” – Jocko Willink

“Pain unlocks a secret doorway in the mind, one that leads to both peak performance, and beautiful silence.” – David Goggins

“Only you can master your mind, which is what it takes to live a bold life filled with accomplishments most people consider beyond their capability.” – DG

“You are in danger of living a life so comfortable and soft, that you will die without ever realizing your true potential.” – DG

“Don’t focus on what you think you deserve. Take aim at what you are willing to earn.” – DG

“You have to build calluses on your brain just like how you build calluses on your hands. Callus your mind through pain and suffering.” – DG

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Lessons Learned From Two Months of Sex W/o Ejaculation

A little over two months ago I was lucky enough to meet a girl who was 100% on board with the whole tantric/karreza/sex without release bit. While I’d had these experiences in the past, they were few and far between, and I’d certainly never had a partner who was committed to helping me with this stuff. I figured I’d take some time off from posting and take a deep dive into the world of sex with Semen Retention.

This isn’t so much a guide or how-to style of post – I just wanted to share my experience and thoughts with the fam as well as explain my leave of absence. For any of the guys out there who are booed up and still want to practice Semen Retention – this post should be of great help.

Finding the right woman is PARAMOUNT

This is easily the most important aspect of the whole tantric sex/sex without release game. While you can meet a girl, have sex with her and (hopefully!) just not orgasm, she’s gonna think she’s either ugly, terrible in bed, something is busted with your junk or all of the above. If you explain things to her before doing the deed, at best she’ll think you’re weird, at worst she’ll call things off.

Finding the right woman goes beyond just open communication. My last serious long term relationship was not on board with me not orgasming. She said it made her feel insecure, like she wasn’t good in bed and like I didn’t enjoy myself. It was also very satisfying for her when I got off. Fair enough. No matter how much I tried to explain things to her, she was set in her ways, and honestly if a girl said she was never going to orgasm when we had sex, I’d probably feel like a failure too.

The right woman has to be patient. She has to have an evolved view of sex. Sex can no longer just be about bumpin’ uglies till a huge explosion of body fluids and expletives occurs. It becomes a long-term game, a means of stoking each other’s fires to ever higher and higher heights. Sex is no longer about just getting each other off, but a means of building up more and more energy and friction within the nervous system – with the occasional release, if your hedonic calendaring calls for it.

Communication is JUST as important

Obviously this practice is doomed from the get go if communication is not a top priority. In all likelihood the gal will have never heard of such a practice and be utterly confused. Unless you have a new age-y, hippy dippy granola type on your hands, I’d recommend just showing them the relationship between prolactin and dopamine, explaining how high prolactin and low dopamine turns you into a tame little puppy, not the savage go-getter you truly want to be. That alone should be enough to convince her of the benefits of this practice.

On top of that, she gets to play around with a partner who is looking for e x t e n d e d bouts of sex. Let’s face it fellas – most of us reach climax embarrassingly quickly, which leaves her feeling unsatisfied to say the least. She now has a partner committed to not only lasting a long time in bed, but of putting her sexual needs before his own! Sex without ejaculation is powerful for a man; sex without ejaculation where the woman orgasms is even more powerful.

“For men, frequent intercourse with infrequent ejaculation is the key technique for cultivating sexual essence and energy. Furthermore, retaining semen during intercourse enables a man to not only preserve and reabsorb his own essence, it also enables him to prolong the act sufficiently for his partner to reach full orgasm, thereby releasing her most potent secretions for his benefit. In effect, he ‘kills two birds with one stone’, preserving his own essence while releasing and absorbing hers.” – The Tao of Health, Sex and Longevity, Daniel Reid

You WILL mess up

It is to be expected that, especially in the beginning, you will lose your control and come when you didn’t want to. Even with all the tricks up my sleeve there were a few times these past couple of months where I went too far and came when I didn’t want to. 

Don’t beat yourself up over it! It’s all part of the learning curve. Get back on the horse, double down on your Jing-boosting herbs and get back at it. It isn’t the end of the world and if you’re using herbs and able to have sex without ejaculation, you’ll bring that sexual energy right back up. 

Speaking of which…

The sexual energy gained from prolonged sex without ejaculation is INSANE

The amount of sexual energy you build up and are able to circulate with tantric sex is out of this world. It blows anything else out of the water, even the more powerful herbs which we haven’t discussed yet. 

It’s the equivalent of plugging into the well of primordial life energy and just JUICING up. That said – this is why you need to have laid a proper groundwork for these practices. You absolutely can short circuit yourself doing these practices if you aren’t prepared. Remember, we’re learning to build up ecstatic energy within the nervous system, causing a cascade of changes within the hormonal/bioelectric systems of the body – the nervous and endocrine systems. This is nothing short of hacking into ecstatic states of consciousness – it’s not something to be taken lightly.

The foundation remains CRITICAL

Again, we are learning to cultivate a type of energy within the nervous system, an energy that affects hormones and, in fact, extends many feet out from the body. You absolutely must prepare the nervous system for handling higher loads of prana/Qi or the results will range from uncomfortable to psych ward. Just look into kundalini syndrome if you have your doubts.

This is why I espouse the benefits of yoga so much – through its postures, breathing exercises and meditation you strengthen and gain control of the nervous system, allowing it to handle the higher wattage produced from Semen Retention and tantric sex. The postures squeeze and tone the endocrine system, regulating and optimizing hormones. The breathing exercises directly regulate the nervous system, and meditation strengthens and calms the mind. It is the perfect complementary practice to Semen Retention, which is why Brahmacharya is an integral part of higher yoga practices.

This is NOT for beginners

It goes without saying, but this practice is absolutely not for beginners. Those starting on the path need lots of time to get used to building and working with sexual energy, carnal desires, and the biological urge to procreate. You MUST master these urges before you attempt to have sex w/o release.

The ONLY exception to this rule is for those that want to begin Semen Retention while already in a relationship. Practice all the techniques solo, then practice them while edging, and then get your lady on board and try it out during sex. You’ll still need to tamper and modify your sex life, but I can’t paint in broad strokes in regards to people’s individual sex lives – you’ll have to tailor that as you see fit.

Most helpful practices

By far the most beneficial practice for sex without release is kegels. In yoga this is known as vajroli mudra, which means thunderbolt gesture, and which I haven’t touched upon much yet. Besides the yogic theory behind it, vajroli mudra is essentially identical to kegels, which hopefully you sons a bitches have been practicing. Do kegels often, whenever you think to. Quick short holds, medium length holds, longer holds, and don’t forget reverse kegels, where it feels like you’re trying to piss as fast as possible. An easy regimen would be 20 pulsed quick holds, 10 medium length holds (2-3 seconds), 5 long holds (5 seconds), and 10 reverse kegels, held for 3 seconds. Do this routine once or twice a day.

The next would be testicle breathing. This is almost identical to the spinal breathing we’ve been discussing in previous posts, except it involves a few tweaks, namely a coordinated combination of kegels, breathing and contracting the muscles around the perineum/prostate. In its complete form, it also involves bringing that energy down the front channel and storing it in the third chakra – this will be detailed in an upcoming post. While kegels help you to not come too fast, testicle breathing helps you to draw that sexual energy upward and away from your dick, which not only helps prevent orgasm, but recharges the entire body/mind complex with fresh, juicy sexual energy. This is not as difficult to perform during sex as you would think, especially if you have been practicing it during solo masturbation sessions.

Schisandra is a great help in keeping your seed inside. It doesn’t compare to having practiced and mastered kegels or testicle breathing, but in a game where so much is at stake, every little bit helps. Not only does it boost your sexual energy and sperm production, its astringent qualities help to lock both semen and sexual energy inside, so you don’t lose your precious seed during sex.

One factor reigns supreme in all of this though, and is more important than any technique available – a willing and understanding partner. When you’re in the heat of the moment and she’s grinding her hips and pelvis into you, pulling you deeper and deeper inside and asking you to fuck her harder… Good luck, buddy. If you and she aren’t on the same page it’s almost a guarantee you’ll lose your seed.

You have to rethink how you go about having sex in general. The goal is no longer to reach orgasm – no more pounding away like porn has taught you (which isn’t what most women want anyway), no more jackrabbiting, no more sexual bravado. Sex is no longer a race or a battle or a conquest – take your damn time, enjoy yourself. Pull out if you’re getting too close to orgasm and explore the rest of her body, give yourself time to cool off.

And while you’ll be lasting longer, the goal also shouldn’t be for her to orgasm, though this should be much easier and is beneficial for you too. The goal is now to cultivate sexual energy, getting close to orgasm, slowing down and circulating it, and then repeating the process… All the while remembering that your lady needs pleasing too.

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Get Your Head Straight

I wrote this piece as a reminder to myself on what the proper mindset to have on this path would be, although these principles apply to any discipline in life.

Fall in Love with the Process

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned in my short time here on this earth is to be process oriented, not goal oriented.

Obviously we need to be setting new goals, working to accomplish the ones we already have, all the while constantly tweaking and refining our methodologies.

The problem is, once most people set their goals, they remain myopically focused on just the goal. Let’s say you want to look like Brad Pitt in Fight Club. In your mind, this is the ideal physique, and if you could just look this way, all your problems – with the ladies at least – would be solved. You watch Fight Club four times a week, you research Brad’s training program, you cut out pics of him shirtless and bloody in that dungeon of a basement. No homo, of course.

You switch your diet up and start eating “healthy”. You hate the food, but you keep the fantasy in your mind of you looking shredded, bruh. You start hitting the gym. It’s gruesome, tiresome, and frankly kinda embarrassing how weak you are, but you think about all the ladies you’ll get once you’re ripped. Hell, maybe you even start taking Muay Thai or Jiu Jitsu to get a “fighter’s physique”, whatever that is.

And then you quit after two months. What gives? You wanted so badly to look ripped, to be a badass, to get all the ladies. You still want that, in fact. So why did you quit?

You quit because you were goal-oriented, not process-oriented. You did shit you hated in hopes of achieving some far-off goal, instead of learning to love the healthy habits that will get you there.

What you should have been doing instead was falling in love with the process.

Finding a workout program that is both challenging and rewarding, and loving the slow change you start to see in your physique.

Finding bomb recipes of healthy foods and learning how to prep and cook them exactly how you want them to taste.

Learning to love how it feels to go to bed just a little hungry, because that physical hunger will transfer over into your personality, and you’ll become hungry for life itself.

You learn to find pleasure and joy in bettering yourself for yourself, not so you can bang every girl in your social circle.

“You do not rise to the level of your goals – you fall to the level of your systems.” James Clear, Atomic Habits

Same applies with Semen Retention. Learn to love the daily discipline, the daily growth, the daily challenge. Don’t do this for some grand prize that is months or years away. All you have is the present moment, the here and now. Revel in the fact that each day you’re improving yourself, each day you’re better than the day before. 

You might not notice many changes or benefits at first, although some of us do. Again, don’t be focused on and looking for benefits. Trust the process! You can’t transform your physique over night, or even in a month or two. It takes many months, if not years, to build a truly impressive physique. Day by day you may not notice much, but month by month? You can begin to see your body change.

Same with semen retention. Some people might feel amazing after a week of retention, some not so much. Everyone will notice vast improvements after a few months though. Think long term, not short term. Think end game.

And if you slip up, reframe it as a learning experience. Whatever caused you to slip up, well, you’ll be better prepared next time.

Set a goal and then fall in love with the process – don’t chase results. 

Change Your Identification

After learning to love the process, we must learn to overhaul our identity. 

Let’s keep someone wanting to lose some weight as our example. They set a goal – to lose 50 pounds. They may have the best workout plan available, the best trainer money can buy, and they’re following their diet to a T. 

After a few months, lo and behold, they’ve lost the weight! And after a few more months, they’ve gained it all back, and then some.

Why? They didn’t fundamentally change who they were. In other words, they were still a person who used foods for comfort, who loved relaxing at home binging Netflix and eating Rocky Road ice cream, who hated the effort of working out, who never learned how to prepare healthy food in an appetizing way. To be a bit blunt, they were still just a fat person in a fit person’s body.

“Behavior that is incongruent with the self will not last… You may want better health, but if you continue to prioritize comfort over accomplishment, you’ll be drawn to relaxing rather than training… The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity.” – James Clear, Atomic Habits

Keep that quip in your mind at all times – “If you continue to prioritize comfort over accomplishment, you’ll be drawn to relaxing rather than training.” For us, training doesn’t mean so much physical training, but training our mind, our emotions, desires, fears, habits.

James goes on to say,

  • The goal is not to read a book, the goal is to become a reader.
  • The goal is not to run a marathon, the goal is to become a runner.
  • The goal is not to learn an instrument, the goal is to become a musician.

Therefore, our goal is not to hit 30, 60, or 90 days. Our goal is to become a man in harmony with and in control of himself, including his sexual desires. Once we become that man, 90 days (and beyond) will come easy. 

We need to fundamentally change how we view ourselves, and how we view sex and women in general. 

We must transform from pleasure-seeking monkeys that mindlessly smash our dopamine buttons into men who love striving for what’s best for ourselves. 

We need to learn how to view sex as a means of self-transformation, not as the end-all be-all, granddaddy of all pleasures. 

We need to view temporary, voluntary celibacy as a necessary practice for self-growth. 

And we need to start viewing women as actual people, as friends, as fascinating partners for personal growth, not just as warm bodies to come inside of or notches on our belts.

Avoid Quick Fixes

Studies on delayed gratification show that kids who chose to put off a small but immediate reward in favor of a bigger reward that they had to wait for went much further in life than kids who took the quick fix. It was shown that the ability and preference to delay gratification is correlated with academic success, physical and mental health, as well as social competence.

The obvious ramification for us is to not watch porn and beat our meat into a sad, chafed state. We put off these tiny, fleeting, empty pleasures in our quest to become the ultimate version of ourselves. But putting off the small, meaningless pleasures in favor of the big wins applies far beyond semen retention. Start practicing delaying gratification in all aspects of your life.

This all goes back to Stoicism and learning to embrace discomfort like we discussed in Part 4 – This Is Your Brain on Semen Retention. To make it anywhere in life you must break free from the shackles of comfort and immediate sense gratification. You must learn to ignore the near-infinite amount of tiny distractions so that you’re able to focus on the big goals in your life.

These tiny distractions, which give you nothing but miniscule and ephemeral hits of dopamine but no true satisfaction, drain you of the will to accomplish your actual goals, which are the source of true satisfaction. Brush these distractions to the side. Stand up tall and delay that immediate, flimsy-ass satisfaction in favor of chipping away at your actual goals. The feeling of satisfaction gained from accomplishing something real and challenging is 1,000 times greater than the empty stimulation from browsing Reddit or dicking around on the same video game you’ve played one hundred times before.

More importantly, the sense of gratification and accomplishment of achieving a hard-earned goal creates a positive feedback loop, leading to you wanting to accomplish other big goals. Success begets even more success.

Starve the weeds of distraction at the roots, embrace discomfort and forgo the empty stimulation that fritters away your psychic and mental energies – that is the deeper meaning of Brahmacharya.

Within yoga, the practice of tapas, which literally translates as “heat” or “to burn”, is the practice of austerities. These austerities are the fire that burns away the dross of the mind. This can take on many, many forms, from extended fasting, to braving the heat and the cold, to even the practices we’re currently doing – yoga postures, pranayama, and meditation. One simple form that I practice every day is simple delaying of gratification. 

You get a text from a cute girl – most guys open it immediately and read it, even respond immediately. Or, you can notice that urge in your mind, leave your phone where it is, and check it and respond in 15 minutes. Not only have you built up some willpower, you’ve also created a bit of tension as the girl sits around wondering, “Why hasn’t he responded yet?” Congrats, you remained in control, you just leveled up.

You open the fridge and immediately reach for a soda – do you follow through with this unhealthy desire? Or do you turn it down and reach for something healthier? Boom, leveled up again.

How many times a day do you pick up your phone to check if you have any notifications, even though it’s been sitting right next to you and you know you don’t? Ignore that impulse, master your mind! 

QUOTE: "If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?" --Rumi | Rumi quotes, Irritated quotes, Cool words

The above is one of my favorite quotes of all time. Life presents you with an excellent battleground to learn to train and master your mind – use it wisely.

Be mindful of those nigh subconscious urges to waste time, overcome them, and spend that time wisely. Those little distracting urges are like weeds in your mind – starve them out. These little wins add up, and then when you have the urge to masturbate, guess what? You’ve got so much positive momentum going that it’s a cinch to turn that urge down too.

When have you ever gone to bed feeling happy and content from browsing the internet and masturbating all day? Compare that to the feeling of going to bed knowing you spent the majority of the day productively, and maybe you threw in some Netflix or gaming there at the end. Very different feeling.

Each time you say no to these tiny impulses to distract yourself from existence not being stimulating enough, each time you choose something that builds your skill base or knowledge instead of the mental masturbation of the internet, it’s like you’re doing a mental “rep”. It’s a workout for your mind and your willpower. Enough of these tiny wins every day and you’ll become unstoppable.

“Through tapasya, you are trying to set in motion a process of metabolism, by which all the habits that create weakness and obstruct the awakening of willpower, can be eliminated. You must know what your necessities are. Your life has to be made simpler. You have to make a choice, that’s all. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. Either you want samadhi (success in meditation) or you want sensual life. To some extent you may be able to continue, but there comes a moment when you will have to make a departure from sensual life…

That is why tantra is practised. Its purpose is not to indulge in drinking, meat eating or sexual life, but to transcend your addictions. This is an important aspect of spiritual life. Mind is a very good advocate; it always argues for the senses. But in fact, even if you let your senses run riot, that doesn’t bring you happiness. So it doesn’t matter what the mind says. Go on with your tapas.” – Swami Satyananda Saraswati

“Worship of the gods, the twice-born, the teachers and the wise; purity, straightforwardness, celibacy and non-injury – these are called the austerities of the body.

Speech which causes no excitement and is truthful, pleasant and beneficial, the practice of the study of the Vedas – these are called the austerities of speech.

Serenity of mind, good-heartedness, purity of nature, self-control – these are called mental austerity.

This threefold austerity practised by steadfast people with the utmost faith, desiring no reward, they call sattwic (pure, wholesome) austerity.” – Bhagavad Gita, 17:14-17

Expect No Reward

I was speaking with another Redditor who became interested in yoga through the practice of semen retention. We got on the topic of the myriad different forms of yoga, and I mentioned karma yoga, the path of unselfish action. Basically, your every action is done with complete awareness, as an offering to God/the Ultimate/the Universe/your Highest Self, and is done without any expectation of award. 

You do the dishes with complete awareness, and you do them because they need to be done, not to please your wife in hopes that it’ll lead to your one night of sex this week. You do your job at work with complete mindfulness, and not with the hope of getting a raise, but because it’s your damn job. 

While I’m not trying to push this practice on anyone, I think the aspect of not expecting rewards is very beneficial for us on the path. Many of us hear about semen retention and all the nearly magical powers that can come along with it, and all the benefits it can bring, and so we start expecting these things, right off the bat in some cases.

In my eyes, this is the absolute worst way to go about things. You’ll constantly be second-guessing every little aspect of your life, looking at everything that happens to you under a giant magnifying glass, wondering if this is because of this benefit you heard about, or if that was because of that other benefit. 

If a girl looks your way, is it because of your magnetic aura?? Or was she just looking around the room and noticed you were already looking at her? 

You wake up and you’re feeling kinda blah today. Are you flatlining?? Or did you forget that not every day is gonna be the BEST. DAY. EVER?

If you’re constantly on the lookout for, and striving after, any of these seemingly magical benefits we get from SR, you’re just shooting yourself in the foot. It’s kind of like befriending a wild animal, or your neighbor’s cat. Just do your thing, don’t chase after the cat. When the cat is ready and comfortable around you, she’ll walk up, sniff at you, maybe rub up on your leg. If you try to pet her, she’ll just run off, so just keep on doing you and ignoring her.

The same thing applies to any “powers” gained from the path of retention. Maybe that girl was looking at you cuz your aura is growing all huge and magnetic – great, no biggie. As some obscure band from the 60’s was fond of saying, “Let it be”.

This is for YOU

Don’t do any of this for anyone other than yourself. Don’t walk this path to attract and seduce females. Don’t practice retention in the hopes of gaining the respect of other guys, or, worse yet, to intimidate them. 

Practice SR for one reason and one reason only – self mastery. If you can conquer your sexual desire, you’ve slayed perhaps the biggest dragon of your psyche. A better analogy is you’ve tamed that dragon, and now have the most powerful ally in all the kingdom.

Semen retention is for you, and you alone.

“For a man to conquer himself is the first and noblest of all victories.” – Plato