Overcoming Wet Dreams - The Art of Semen Retention

I’ve seen multiple Reddit posts recently about people having issues with wet dreams and nocturnal emissions, so let’s have a little chat about the topic.

Repressed Sexuality

I think the biggest issue for a lot of guys on this path is that they mistakenly wind up repressing all sexual thoughts and feelings. This repression and bottling up of sexual feelings means that they wind up getting expressed when we’re no longer in control, oftentimes in an explosion of jizzum while we’re asleep. This is awfully frustrating when we’re putting so much conscious effort into not ejaculating in the waking world.

When you go on the semen retention path, it’s important to not have things in your environment that stimulate sexual thoughts. So we cut out racey accounts that we follow, avoid going out to bars with all the scantily clad girls, and we definitely cut out porn. But we’re left with one very fundamental thing that we can’t just “cut out” – our mind. You may have removed every possibility of seeing a sexually stimulating image, but controlling the mind and its desire for the female form is a bit trickier.

So many of us repress these thoughts, desires, and cravings. This is not the move! Just like letting little annoying things that your girlfriend does bottle up until it bursts out of you in an embarrassing display of frustration and anger, bottling up and repressing sexual thoughts/desires leads to, well.. A different kind of embarrassing explosion.

The trick is to allow these thoughts and desires to pop up, remaining aware yet detached. In Part 5 – The Alpha and the Omega, we discussed a type of meditation where you just remain a passive observer to thoughts as they arise, as if they were just ephemeral clouds passing through your mind.

You guys have been practicing this, right?

“Your goal is to identify as the passive witness to all these thoughts/images/feelings as they arise. They are like clouds, coming about on their own, evolving and changing on their own, and fading away.”

In regards to emotions, “I’ve found it helpful to reframe emotions as just flavors of energy that come into my field of consciousness, stick around for a quick sec, and then start fading away. They’re impermanent and only hold as much weight as you give them.”

So instead of repressing and shoving sexual thoughts and desires down into your subconscious, where they’ll simply explode out of your dick while you sleep, just remain detachedly aware of them. The goal is to learn to identify as that part of you that is pure awareness, and to view your thoughts and emotions (sexual or otherwise) as an interesting and amusing thing that seems to be playing out in front of you.

In this way, sexual thoughts and desires get fully acknowledged, not repressed. The energy that makes them up is able to be expressed, without shaking your strong foundation of mindfulness.

It can be tricky, cuz these types of thoughts are sticky – they have a tendency to suck you in and pull you and your Johnson along for a ride. That’s why this is a good meditation to practice with everyday thoughts and emotions.

Learning to identify as “the witness”, that impersonal but imperturbable aspect of pure awareness, will get you far in life, not just in retention. The more you identify with the witness, and less with your thoughts, emotions, and desires, the less you’ll be swayed by the ups and downs of life.

Lack of or Improper Sublimation

I reckon that many on this sub that are still struggling with nocturnal emissions aren’t taking their sublimation practices seriously. When you retain and begin building that sexual energy up, if you don’t actively sublimate it and circulate it throughout the whole body/mind complex, what do you expect is gonna happen? That energy needs to find an outlet somewhere, and it’s gonna take the route it’s most familiar with.

You don’t have to do the whole yoga/breathing exercise route I espouse, but it is exceptionally good for this issue, specifically siddhasana (Part 7) and the spinal breathing technique from Part 2 and Part 3.

Non-yoga sublimation techniques that would be best would be working out and cold showers or baths before bed, or even just an ice pack on the crotch. Journaling is another way to get those sexual thoughts and emotions expressed without them ruffling your feathers too much.

Over-stimulated CNS

A big contributing factor is likely that many people experiencing wet dreams are going to bed too stimulated. This could be from too much caffeine late in the day, watching action movies or gaming right before bed, being overly stressed out, or not getting enough exercise.

Exercise is key here. If you get a solid hour to an hour and a half workout 4-5 times a week, your body will be so busy rebuilding itself and recovering during sleep that it won’t have the energy or need to have a nighttime orgasm. If any of you brothers aren’t exercising you REALLY need to get on it! It is easily almost as beneficial as the semen retention path – the benefits are nearly endless and come quickly. It might not take you as far semen retention but it will improve every aspect of your life. Get on it fellas, whether it’s running, weight lifting, rock climbing, mountain biking, whatevs.

If you’re struggling with wet dreams, cut back on the caffeine/nicotine/adderall, especially later in the day. Avoid video games and movies that are over-stimulating before bed, at least until this issue resolves itself.

Practice some calming breathing exercises just before bed. Along with spinal breathing and alternate nostril breathing, you can practice either box breathing or 1:1:2 breathing.

In box breathing you simply breathe in, hold, exhale, and hold, all for an equal count. Breathe in 5 seconds, hold the breath inside for 5 seconds, exhale for 5 seconds, and hold the breath outside the body for 5 seconds. Repeat for 5-10 minutes.

1:1:2 breathing is similar, except you double the length of the exhale, and omit the external breath retention. So you’d breathe in for 5 seconds, hold for 5 seconds, exhale for 10, and then repeat.

Box breathing is a technique used by Navy Seals to calm down, switching their body from fight-or-flight mode into the relaxing rest-and-digest.

1:1:2 breathing accomplishes the same thing. The sympathetic nervous system is activated when you breathe in, while the out-breath activates the calming parasympathetic nervous system. You can actually feel your heart beat faster on the inhale and slower on the exhale if you pay close attention. By doubling the length of the exhale, you double the amount of parasympathetic activation.

If you’ve worked up to it, you can also practice alternate nostril breathing in a 1:2 fashion, or a 1:1:2 fashion. The left nostril is the start of the cooling, calming energy channel, while the right nostril is the beginning of the warming, activating energy channel. By equalizing the breath in both nostrils in an alternating fashion, you balance the nervous system.

Kegels

Do your damn kegels! Do ’em all the time, whenever you have a second to think about them. Lots of quick, short holds, medium length holds, long holds. Practice reverse kegels too, as if you were trying to hurry up and piss faster than Sonic the hedgehog.

There are apps out there for you to follow specific routines, but I’ve never used them and don’t see any need to. If that sounds like your jam feel free to check ‘em out.

Kegels not only help to sublimate sexual energy up out of the genitals, it also helps prevent leakage, whether awake or asleep. It’s also a fundamental practice for Tantric sex, if you ever decide to go that route, so get reaaallll comfortable with em.

Set Intentions

What’s the easiest way to have a lucid dream? Go to bed and as you’re drifting off, program your subconscious mind to become lucid while dreaming. Ever had to wake up in the morning for something really important, and even though you forgot to set an alarm, you still woke up early for it?

The whole thing about sleep is that “you” aren’t consciously there. However, by setting intentions before bed, you can program your subconscious mind to some degree. When you go to bed each night, set an intention to sleep through the night with no leakage. Don’t have a mindset of fear or worry that you’ll have an emission – you’re talking to your subconscious here, you’re talking to yourself – there’s nothing to fear. You’re on the same team, you are the same team.

Tell your subconscious firmly – not angrily – that these wet dreams are no longer serving you, and that your seed and sexual energy are now to be retained and used for self-evolution. Program your mind for a few minutes each night before bed, and then forget about it and drift off to sleep. It’s important to not obsess over it – just set the intention and let it go. Your deeper self will take care of the rest.

On Herbs and Supplements

Back in Part 6 – Cultivating Sexual Energy with Herbs, we discussed some herbal hacks for building and transmuting Jing, our sexual energy. If you’re having issues with wet dreams, I would make sure to avoid cistanche, as it’s not only spermatogenic, but is also a fairly strong aphrodisiac.

While schisandra is also spermatogenic, it has been used for thousands of years by Taoists and practitioners of the “bedroom arts” to help preserve and “lock in” sexual fluids. Its astringent and sour qualities are excellent for this purpose. Because it is a potent adaptogen, it will also help you to destress, and as we covered earlier, being overly stressed is likely contributing to nocturnal emissions.

Ashwagandha would be of use here as well. It increases GABA within the brain, which is our main inhibitory neurotransmitter, helping us to get deep, restorative sleep. It’s adaptogenic and also lowers cortisol, one of our main stress hormones.

Polygala would still be safe to use, and as it helps to build up the “Fourth Treasure”, our willpower, and opens up the “Penetrating Vessel”, allowing sexual energy to be transmuted up the spine from the sexual organs. Polygala on it’s own might be a bit too stimulating right before bed, however. Dragon Herbs has a great product called Will Strengthener which contains some supporting herbs (such as dragon bone – see below) that will help calm the nervous system. If you already bought straight polygala, just make sure to use it in the morning or early afternoon.

A few other things may be important to ensure deep sleep. I would avoid 5-HTP, tryptophan, B Vitamins and melatonin before bed, as these generally increase REM sleep, the stage of sleep where most dreaming, wet or dry, occurs. While we certainly don’t want to abolish REM sleep outright, those struggling with wet dreams probably don’t need anymore than they get naturally.

Magnesium improves deep sleep and is crucially missing from pretty much everyone’s diet, as we’ve done an excellent job of raping and leaving for the dead the soil of our farms here in the West. This is one of those few supplements I think everyone should be taking, especially anyone with sleep issues or anxiety. Magnesium glycinate, chelate, citrate or threonate are all excellent choices.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, Shen–tonifying herbs are split into two categories – Shen-stabliizing and Shen-developing herbs. The stabilizing herbs help to settle our spirit, mind and emotions. They’re very calming and grounding. Shen-developing herbs, like polygala, help to bring positive emotions to the forefront of our experience.

Most Shen-stabilizing herbs and formulas are very calming to the nervous system, particularly Pearl powder and the formula bupleurum and dragon bone. Pearl is just what it sounds like, pearls that have been ground up into extremely fine powder. This mineral rich powder helps to “weigh down” the electrical impulses of the nerves.

Bupleurum and dragon bone is the most widely used anti-stress formula in TCM. “Dragon bone” refers to pulverized remains of fossilized animal bones, traditionally mastodon. Yeah, they go hard in TCM. Again, this mineral-rich compound is “heavy” in the sense that it calms the nervous system, and also has the same astringent property that schisandra has, helping to “lock in” sexual energy and fluids.

Bupleurum and dragon bone is “known for its ability to help stabilize addictive-compulsive behavior and is widely used in the withdrawal from the addiction to smoking, drinking, and a large variety of addictive drugs by both lessening the cravings for the drug and reducing the common withdrawal symptoms… It is said to improve willpower, strengthen the mind, and reduce anxiety, frustration, and anger.”

Dragon bone itself is useful for nocturnal emissions. As Ron Teeguarden states in The Ancient Wisdom of the Chinese Tonic Herbs, “It is often used in formulas to control seminal emission… It is often found in formulas designed to enhance male sexual performance. In this usage, it has a calming effect on the mind, preventing premature ejaculation, as well as the astringent action, which literally locks in semen.”